Ok, let's do this one more time.

My name is [unintelligible]! 
And my name is [unintelligible].

But people call us "Bob and Weave" for short.
The big blue creature is Bob while I, the brains of this operation, am Weave.

I was bitten by my good friend Weave and crash landed on Planet Earth.

And for past 3 earth years, we have been New York's one and only...

Spectacular Spider-Thing!

THAT'S WHAT THE HUMANS CALL US. UGh...

We fought off a lot of baddies! (Most of them are humans that want to capture us.)

We destroyed this really big teal statue.. on accident. (Sorry.)

A black blobby creature almost took over the world with his own blobby creature friends! (They're called symbiotes.)

And we live with this girl named MJ! (She trusts us)

Together, nothing can stop us!(Except for hot dogs. Bob loves hot dogs. She can't stop ordering hot dogs.)