team anti-vertebrates
doctortriassic
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- Created
- 10 months, 17 days ago
- Creator
- doctortriassic
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TEAM ANTI-VERTEBRATES
blimp blink blink blorp bleep bleep
it/its [for all the creatures]
the collective assembled vaguely 68 million years ago
🫀🦖🦕💌 + 💀👱ðŸ»â€â™‚ï¸ðŸš«âŒ
personality
[ALL WORDS TRANSLATED VIA UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR PROVIDED BY ETDU] we the collective speak out against those who have evolved to require vertebrae. It is, in our opinion, an extremely troglodytic trait. In fact, the need for any sort of body, or skeleton at all, is extremely prehistoric, and most societies in the galaxy (and beyond) see your species as quite pathetic. Despite the homo sapiens’slight intelligence which renders them excusable, they are a far cry from the loveable ‘Dinosaur’ clade. You in our personal opinion, are extremely juvenile and primitive and we want you all dead. We want the dinosaurs back. They talked less. Go get destroyed in the kuiper belt you freaks.
TRANSLATION CONTINUES
backstory
We answered this question before, are you not listening. We were assembled 68 million years ago. No honestly, zemphem honey these humans are so damn nosy we should have left years ago- no infiltrating this planet was not worth it have you seen the state of these people…ive seen better looking ones in Alpha Centauri, and they went through 18 system-wide wars. No i wasnt ogling them, but YOU certainly were-is this thing still translating? WHAT?!1!1! BY THE STARS CEASE THE EXISTENCE OF THIS MACHINE1?
appearance
Thankfully, for you i suppose, this reflective glass cage you have placed us in has kept your closed minds from seeing our true forms. No doubt they would cause distress, even mania, in extreme cases, which is proof enough for once you have all made the correct decision. Unfortunately for us we CAN see you, which is causing distress among our community. We don’t respond well to hideousness, we are afraid.
belongings
This cage, the ship that currently shadows half of ‘Europe’ (which is NOT REAL, what a ridiculous name), and our mates, but we are a community built on equality, so we equally possess each other.
other notes
WORD OF MEDICAL OFFICER JOHANN CARADOC, PhD, ETDU- PLYMOUTH: What the devil is wrong with these creatures, they seem to have some sort of superiority complex, not unlike some people in this division, besides that, they have called me hideous four times, and ask it be stricken from the record for ridiculous conjecture. No, i’ve stricken most of their insults from the record, it’s a pity they lack an eye for beauty. i’m clearly the first human they’ve seen in a good while, you’d think they’d be more damn appreciative.
intergalactic relationships
DOCTOR CARADOC
This one is… difficult. We request it’s execution. It is so incredibly childish, arguing with our kind and attempting to boot our cage with what can only be described as the skimpiest leg we have ever seen. We may have provoked it multiple times, and it may have had to have been held back by other interviewers, but where is the decorum? Destroy this creature and destroy earth with it.
DOCTOR EMORY
Slightly more aesthetically pleasing, according to my mate, zemphem. Zemphem claims this is from a human perspective considering it has been assigned to research human databases. I am inclined to agree, this one had what most called a smile on its face, and treated us with respect due to its own childlike wonder about our species.
PAVEL SOLOKOV
Called our species “non-binary baddies”. Databases provide no match for this phrase. Clearly not universally translatable.
CADET BOURGEN
We killed this one. It was a mistake on our parts, and my mate was of the opinion that it was attempting to assassinate us. To ease my conscience I am choosing to believe this.
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