Ukko (Mars Infinitum)

Any Scars or Tattoos: Throat tattoo, neck tattoo, left ring-finger tattoo, below the left knee blackout tattoo, back tattoo, mastectomy scars, scar across left pec

Personal:

Personality:

Molded by a lifetime of struggle, Ukko has learned to play it safe. And to him, ‘safe’ has always meant ‘close to the vest’. He’s a masterclass liar and manipulator, who nearly always knows more about people than they know of him. Taking things in stride and rolling with the punches is something he’s good at, and when he gets the chance to retaliate, you best believe he can be vicious. If he thinks it’ll be useful, he’ll forgive, but there is never any reason to forget. 

That is not to say he remains a blank slate by any means, though. He wears his identity on his sleeve, taking immense pleasure in dressing oddly and looking all around unique. There is a special soft-spot in his heart reserved for people who can give both gender norms and conventional fashion sense the middle finger at the same time.

Being around people can be… rough for him. Especially when they are the sort who think that they can put hands on him or disrespect his personal bubble. So, sometimes, he just likes to fuck off and disappear. Even from his beloved husband. He always comes back, but these little get-aways are an essential part of his mental self-care.

History:
Under the imposing red glow of Mars against a perpetually black velvet sky, two brothers were born. They were twins, though one could hardly tell from their very first moments onward. For one, the young parents, Robert and Alstroemeria, assumed they had gotten a boy and a girl. They divided them accordingly, Bobby initiating Xyris into the fine world of upper-class small-game-hunting as soon as the lad could hold up a gun, and Mary teaching Ukko (of course, that wasn’t his name back then) all about art and the intricacies of not showing emotion under any circumstances.

As they grew, or rather, as Xyris grew, concerns were starting to get raised about Ukko’s health. By age seven he was hardly taller than when he’d first learned to walk, not to mention prone to nervous break-downs and violent outbursts. So, his parents called the doctor. Then another doctor. Then eight more doctors. They never did get the answer they were hoping for, that it was something fixable, something they could just medicate away. All these hacks could tell them was that there was no developmental issue or genetic anomaly to be found. The child was just… very short and very quiet, prone to developing new seemingly random ailments at the drop of a hat. It didn’t stop them from continuing to subject him to more tests. Ukko grew to hate doctors in the years he spent being poked and prodded. Almost as much as he grew to hate being touched.

As his poor health continued throughout his childhood, his one constant companion was his brother. Often, he was simply too tired and too cranky to go play outside with other kids. When he did venture out, he mostly stuck by Xyris' side. His brother was always kind to him and suggested only gentle games when he was around to make sure he could join in too. This earned him much praise from the adults, which Ukko did envy a little. He wished his parents or nannies would compliment him on something other than his new dresses all the time.

Xyris was proving ever popular, making friends and socializing even outside of their upper-class circles, with the more common people who'd filter in and out of the colony by the tether that connected it to the surface. Ukko still followed him around, but didn’t have much desire to engage in any conversations he overheard. He was known to most as ‘Xyris’ sister’, nothing more. When he wasn’t available to be shadowed, off on some trip with their dad or something, Ukko took to spending time with Vala, the granddaughter of their housekeeper and nanny Karu Meri. She had been from a generational ship, originally, and was apparently some sort of witch, she told him in a hushed voice. She brought over a box of her old magic things one day and Ukko was thoroughly hooked for the rest of his life. The old woman was less than helpful when it came to actually learning this magic, so Ukko did as he always had and took to independent study. The huge library held many fascinating books about old-Earth pagans and ghosts and exorcisms, and he absorbed all of them with great enthusiasm.

The brothers went to private school, a large, gray stone building that looked to be carved right out of the rim of the crater around them, seeming all together barren of hiding-places to little Ukko. He was still lagging sorely behind his brother, who seemed to only be accelerating in his growth both physically and mentally. The other children were keen to take notice of this. The taunting words that followed him around behind his back drove him to tears many times, but at least Xyris was always there to comfort him. Sticking to his side also brought a faint relief from the staring eyes, as all attention seemed to naturally focus on the big, loud, sociable young man instead of his constantly hovering shadow.

Ukko did enjoy learning the new things their teachers laid in front of the class every day. Applying the knowledge he’d absorbed from his own reading while locked up in his room, he began to excel in things like history and xenobiology. In other subjects though, he lacked the drive to excel and in his parent's eyes, that was no better than slacking off. Xyris tried to help him with studying and memorization at their parents’ request. He was proving to thrive in a learning environment, always getting graded at the top of their class and earning praise from the tutors. On top of that, where Ukko was always shoved to the side during recess and games so he ‘wouldn’t get hurt’, Xyris was one of the colony's star young athletes. It was all starting to seem unfair.

For a time after they turned 18, Xyris worked for their father’s company. They tried to get Ukko to join him (every good salesman needs a secretary, afterall) but the mere thought was enough to make him violently ill. He couldn't well just sit around and wait to become some kind of recluse though. There had been one field that he'd always wanted to pursue. Psychology. Bob and Mary were willing to pay for his way through the schooling, if he could just make it. And Ukko was determined to make it.

During the years he spent studying, Xyris continued drifting in and out of social groups. He still invited Ukko along sometimes, but he never really cared for it. Until they ended up in what their mother oh so affectionately called "the queer crowd".

It felt like being hit in the face by a comet. Everything in his life suddenly made sense. Ukko wasn't a ratty, grumpy, bitter young woman. He was a ratty, grumpy, bitter young man! He clung hard to this new identity, with everything he had. So hard his parents threatened to cut him off, lest his nonsense start affecting his young sister, Norna. And when they went through with their threat, Ukko couldn’t get off that damn moon fast enough.

When he finally graduated as a doctor in his late twenties, now pretty severely in debt, he tried to get himself work. His first ever job. Something he could do on his own. A year and a half in, they had stripped him of his license to practice. Something idiotic about assaulting an insurance representative, compounded by repeated anti-social behavior in the presence. Complete horseshit, if you asked him, it was an excuse to get rid of him at best. Just because he was tiny and outspoken. And yeah maybe he kicked that guy in the knee, but he deserved it, the price-gouger.

So, now what?

Twelve years of school and an assload of money lost had all been for nothing. A doctorate in psychology, and he ended up a bartender and an errand-boy for one of the clubs he'd spend his best years at, on a shitty little outpost somewhere. And that too had come courtesy of his brother, who was in good with the owner. What a nose-dive.

Ukko needed a lot of money. So, he took a lot of jobs. He applied his inborn artist and learned to tattoo all kinds of skin. He ran errands. He pointed out people in crowds for people who were looking to ask questions. He got professional at hiding things. And money. And drugs. Before he knew it, he was approached by some people looking to take him on full time. Friends of Xyris, apparently. Ukko got a terrible headache from it all, but eventually agreed that working for the goddamn mob was better than not working.

As it turned out, Xyris had been doing this sort of thing on and off ever since they had gotten kicked out. Typical. They were paired with more experienced crew for bigger jobs. The ones they worked with the most were two other brothers, Septimus and Helvidius, though they were known better as "Sweet" and "Honey", respectively. It was a bit of a legacy job for them; their family had apparently been in the business for three generations, on their mother's side. Ukko thought it showed most in Septimus, but not nearly at all in his older brother. He was… really rather… lovely. A strong inclination towards advancement and a ruthlessly efficient fighter with sharp tongue, sure. But also the softest hands and most wonderful green eyes Ukko had ever seen. Jesus, maybe he was in love.

In this crowd waited another pleasant surprise. He was no longer just ‘Xyris’s’... anything. He was Ukko. Well and truly. He realized how much that had bothered him in the past. To make this new trend stick, he began distancing himself from his brother and his influence. This seemed to make him a little snappier towards him, but Ukko didn’t pay it any mind.

Eventually, he confessed his feelings to Honey. He wasn’t sure how he would take it. It was pretty obvious that he was into men, he’d always had a small pack of boyfriends hanging on his heels, but… Ukko wasn’t sure if he’d be into him. Afterall, he was sort of new to this whole thing. And he was short. And he could be mean. And worst of all, Xyris was also showing interest. How could he ever hope to compete with him? He was big, smart and the life of the party everywhere he went. Depressing, was what it was. But Honey did not choose between them. He took them both, loved them both, equally. It only made Ukko admire him more. How much love could reside inside one person, that he had this much to give? To Honey, he was never the lesser man.

It made him think about why he had come to assume that in the first place. Everyone else had their preconceived notions of him, he couldn’t help that. But why had he come to believe them as well? Who was it that constantly made him feel less?

The years flew by. He got very good at what he did. Every day, he fell more in love with Honey. And month by month, his brother got more and more belligerent. Ukko had long since stopped taking any sort of orders from him. He wasn't his goddamn baby sister, he was his twin brother! Xyris had always acted like he knew that. But now, Ukko wasn't so sure anymore.

After years of escalating tension, the brothers fought physically for the first time. Ukko baited Xyris with everything that he had. He spat at him, called him names, insulted his worth. Every last crumb of every single moment of weakness he had witnessed since their births was thrown out with intent to wound beyond repair. And in return? He got punched in the face. Ukko still has the crooked tooth to this day from where the hit fractured his upper jaw.

The one rule Honey had was no fighting. And Xyris had put Ukko in the literal hospital. Really, he might have killed him. He was the victim, his brother the instigator. He should get to stay, while Xyris was kicked to the space-curb.

Honey didn’t see it like that. He could see who had actually started it. He’d always been smart like that. So, an ultimatum was handed out. Either they resolved this, or he would have to dump them both, as much as he’d grown to love them.

Ukko took this threat to heart. He could see that fighting with his brother might cost him the one person he cared most about in this world. There was no way around it. But they could not coexist anymore. If he clung to Honey… Xyris would never let go. They would tear him apart with their feud. So Ukko conceded. He apologized and he groveled. He hadn’t actually meant any of those things. And really, he had deserved that concussion, it forced him to think more clearly. He was so. Very. Sorry. It made Honey happy. It made Xyris forgive him. It made Ukko seethe. But it was all going to work out.

The next time their crew was on a job in an old warehouse near the asteroid belt, the cops showed up. It was nothing that unprecedented, but Ukko had never been caught in such vicious gunfire before. That hadn't been the deal! Xyris, though, knew the drill. He’d done this dozens of times.

His gun had never jammed before. There was time for exactly one look exchanged between the brothers. The next shot went through Xyris’s heart.

And then all hell broke loose.

Ukko still isn’t exactly sure what happened all these years later, but the most he can recall is that there was an explosion. Then… He was bleeding. A lot. Everyone was gone. It was just him, a few dead bodies, and the roof was on fire. The whole damn place was on fire. Honey wasn’t anywhere to be found. Xyris was dead. He was all alone. So Ukko ran. He ran away, and he kept running. He ran so far that he skipped the Oort cloud.

The next few years passed in an absolute drunken stupor, bouncing from ship to ship, never settling down before the crew got sick of him. He couldn't think, because every time he thought, he knew it was his fault. Why had he thought that was a good idea? Why? He had truly nothing anymore, not even his mind.

Then, somehow, his sister managed to get him word that their father had passed away. Shit… He thought about not going home, he really did. For all intents and purposes, he was dead too. But what did it really matter? So he threw the bones and let them decide.

They told him he should return home.

When he got back to Phobos, he was immediately almost run over. It probably had something to do with the fact that he'd stopped in the middle of the road. He wasn't trying to or anything, but he could have sworn… No, definitely. There. Alive. Honey.

Magic was real. The bones were telling the truth. He would never doubt them again!

He could have screamed. He did scream, he was pretty sure. Honey nearly crushed his spine with the embrace they shared. Ukko would have let him. They both cried.

Turned out, Honey had lived through the explosion at the warehouse. Just barely. He'd taken a bullet to the leg and lost his right hand, forcing him out of the work. Sweet had taken over his spot, but really, he didn't mind. He hadn't minded anything for years. Losing both Ukko and Xyris at the same time as his career and dominant hand had been too much to process. But now that they were together again, he wanted to make something new and better of himself. Someone who would never have to rough anyone up ever again. Ukko supported his decision, he could always see that Honey had not been happy going into the family trade.

However, work was still scant for him. He kept up the tattooing and selling occult paraphernalia, but occasionally he did still have to speak with Sweet about some extra earning opportunities. Especially when he and Honey discovered they were going to be parents. 

[cw: pregnancy, infant death]
They hadn’t thought that it was possible. Ukko was now decades into his transition, not to mention already over forty years old. It was an accident, really. However, they decided to see it through.

The next year was the single most miserable one in Ukko’s life. The pregnancy did not go well, he had to stop taking his treatment and everything about life made him sick to his stomach constantly. Not to mention the crippling dysphoria, the likes of which he hadn’t felt since he was being forced into silk dresses by his mother. But, he pushed through. Honey loved children so much. He would have been the best father any child could ask for. But, it was not to be. There was really nothing to be done. Their daughter died at home at only a few weeks old.

It almost broke Ukko. More than even his twin's death had. All that suffering, just to make them suffer more. The only thing that pulled him through it was Honey. He was so kind and spoke with such honest heartbreak and love for him. Even though it was he who had put this sweet man through all of this. Even though it was certainly his fault she had died. He was just not a good enough father. After this, Ukko would make sure Honey would never suffer ever again. Not at his hands nor anyone else's.
[end cw]

For many years, it was easy enough. They both worked, Ukko doing little jobs on the side, making sure Sweet left his brother's new life in the stars undisturbed as he climbed the ranks. Then, Honey got sick. It started out small, getting tired more easily, noticing more aches and pains that he attributed to aging. When it was discovered, it was almost too far gone. The surgery would have been astronomically involved and expensive, involving quite a bit of experimental application of xenomedicine. And they weren't wealthy people.

Ukko would not take this sitting down. Absolutely the fuck not. Eventually, someone might have noticed that money started going missing from the deals Ukko had access to. He was as careful as he could be, but he also knew it wasn't an idle worry that Sweet would have literally gutted him if he found out. And Honey as well, probably.  So, he didn't wait until he was found out. If Ukko had learned anything from his lifetime of miserable failure, it was to quit while he was ahead. Very suddenly, many of the smaller operations around Deimos's influence started developing information leaks. A few guys were put in prison and a large amount of product was lost. At the same time, it became common knowledge that Honey had suffered a bad turn and died, and Ukko had taken his own way out to follow him immediately after. A few weeks later, an old married couple arrived at a small, nowhere station in the middle of the Mars badlands, looking to start a fresh new life.


TL;DR:
Ukko grew up fairly wealthy with a twin brother named Xyris and a much younger sister named Norna. He discovered he was trans and got booted out along with his twin. While he did study to be a psychiatrist, he got fired almost immediately and had to take up working for the mob, where he fell deeply in love with a man called Honey. His twin died in a shootout, and he spent some years absolutely distraught over having been the cause of it, living as a drifter onboard far-reaching ships. When he returned home, he and Honey reconnected and began leading fairly normal lives (even attempting to have children), though Ukko could not quite shake his connections to his past. When Honey fell seriously ill, he used his influence to embezzle a lot of money from the family, turning in some minor operations to get himself and Honey a bit of money to start a new life. That's how they ended up on Station Solaris.

Optional:

Hobbies:

• Occultism for fun and for profit
• Feeding the birds (dumping meat-scraps for the crows that live in the dome)
• Training animals and muleback-riding
• Poetry, drawing, art
• Pets: Exceedingly Unlucky the mule, Omen of Welcome the wild crow

Trivia:

• Despite being a really solid drinker for his size, he can only take so much before blacking out
• Has excellent vision, even in low light
• Smells sort of musty but not bad per se, more like sprouting mushrooms and moss and dust
• Pinterest: Link
• Spotify: Link