Benji Russells
dogeatingdirt
- Created
- 7 months, 28 days ago
- Creator
- dogeatingdirt
- Favorites
- 4
Profile
benji ortiz russells. twenty-seven. afab nonbinary — she/they. butch lesbian. 6'1 or 6'6 with her ears. european hare. works at a bookstore ran by a little old woman who is undeniably her best friend. is a thief on the side, fairly renowned in 'underground' circles. has a black cat named sinatra. carries guilt and shame around with her like they're the shirt on her back. starts fights for the hell of it. starts fights for so many reasons that do not exist. walks with a prominent limp — the result of a fight. has that lovely autism, ocd, and adhd combo. has had dental surgery so that some of her teeth look 'canine' in nature. uses modern technology as little as possible, doesn't even have an email (borrows her boss's) and uses a flip phone. collects vinyls. adores music from the 50s and 60s.
loves her mother but has accepted that this will not ever be reciprocated and would actually kind of loathe her mother if it was. has a light sensitivity as a result of being autistic, wears sunglasses most times to combat this. throat scar was earned from... almost being murdered <3. was considered a child prodigy in her youth and even graduated high school shockingly early but, uh, life hit in college. and by life i mean the addictions. what the fuck is up with the dog motif? has a knack for knowing what'll make someone tick and will verbally decimate someone just to make them hit her. she's not a bad dog, she doesn't know why she bites. LOVES the ocean so much. can hold her breath underwater for worrying amounts of time. love sea slugs and octopi to no end but sharks have her heart. believes megalodon is still out there... it's just so good at hiding, man. wanted to be a marine biologist when she was little but eventually went to college to get a degree in psychology. is loyal as a dog. you can betray her like a man <3.
moodboard. playlist. playlist of music she'd listen to. voiceclaim.
personality:
At worst, Benji is a volatile, cruel, and silver-tongued individual who wastes no time in tearing someone down if she feels they've cornered her; she's sharpened her ability to clock what exactly she can use to really get under another's skin and unforgivingly uses it to her benefit, whether that be small or something more. It's clear she approaches most situations with the sole intention being to find a way out of it and very rarely does she care about the cost of her momentary comfort. At best, when meeting Benji for the first time, she will come across as standoffish, and awkward (if not uncomfortable in her own skin)—something like a pitiful mess who has a difficult time in social situations of most sorts. But there's an almost boyish charm she carries that, when allowed to come into herself some, is rather hard to deny; as it goes, she's at her most sociable, and palatable, when she's not really trying to be. When it comes to her close relations, Benji is, usually, a very affectionate and devoted individual—forever plagued by an air of awkwardness that fails to hinder her with those who've managed to work past her less than savory exterior; to no extent, she's painfully loyal, at the beck and call of whoever could need her and more than willing to put herself in any line of danger on a close one's behalf. Benji can also be rather soft, someone fond of acts of service and words of affirmation for anyone in her life. Despite how reckless she can be (borderline self-sacrificial) for those she loves, Benji can be the cruelest those closest to her, for even with them she can't always fight the belief she's the "odd man out" and therefore, always a liability, always someone to turn on, someone to back into a corner, and as a result Benji turns on them first. Unfortunately, using information she's learned in confidence to set them back—to get them away. Oh, she never really means to hurt them, she just needs them to go. Benji is more guilt and self-loathing than she's even a person—she believes herself to be the worst of the worst, a natural illness that eventually, no, inevitably touches those she loves; despite her best efforts, she knows it's something she can't escape. She'll always make the people around her worse. She'll never be more than a leech who needs and takes and hides. And there's nothing her, or anyone, can do to fix that. |
