Nemecio "Beckette" Itzli

Summary:

The in danger Mexican silver bear known as better known as Beckette or InebriatedBear online is an aspiring artist that works within the 2D and 3D areas along with a bit of coding to make his own indie games that he works on his own time. Since a young age he has always been fascinating with everything involving videogames and art, he always wanted to work as a game tester or anything regarding the area of videogames or art even if his parents didn’t completely agree to it. While growing up he grew distant from his family even if they supported him, he loves them but after all the fights, abuse and emotional manipulation from when he was a cub, it’s hard for him to be close with them now as an adult, he prioritize work and study during that time, after university he sent his demoreel and the work projects to companies he’d like to work at, sadly to the many he sent only one replied with the chance for work at another country, taking the opportunity he moved from Mexico to work as a game developer in Texas.

Backstory:

            Nemecio was born at the border of Tijuana, right at the border between the United States and the Mexican territory. He was a second child alongside his older sister, him and his family lived in a rented small two story flat in “infontavit”, he used to be a very energetic kid and social kid, he really didn’t know what shame was when he was a cub, even if it got him into trouble. Even from being outside being a disaster or inside, he had two hobbies that marked what he loved to do; art and videogames, while his parents were fine with the first hobby they didn’t agree much with the second one due to its procrastinating nature it caused to the cub, eventually the overuse from part of Nemecio made his parents take measure to control his gaming but this wasn’t just for games alone, he was met with his parents palm even for small inconveniences as a way to discipline the disastrous cub, he was frequently compared a lot with his sister a lot which made him feel less a lot of the times. His voice was silenced each time he tried to talk about it or even trying to say something to his sister, there weren’t a person that can say anything to her so he learned to be quiet even when he cried, he didn’t want to be given a reason to cry or being told or felt less again.

Growing up he didn’t know what it was to be in a safe and judge free environment, all that repression only led to hyperactivity and maturing faster than he was supposed to, of course like any other parent and a naïve child there were moments where they would sit and enjoy the time but for Nemecio, there would be many times he was discipline that made it hard for him to remember most of the good times he had with his family, he grew distant to affection as he always wondered how is it possible for someone that you love so much that easily makes you feel safe and protected, just as easily make you scared and unsafe, this only caused the cub anxiety and worry for things he didn’t need to at his age. At home he didn’t show do much activity or even talk a lot with his family out of fear of saying or doing something he’s not supposed to which led him to vent his hyperactivity in school and when he was alone, during his frustration he tended to punch walls or hurt his body to vent. He did decent when it came to studying, one trip or two if he couldn’t get the subject, he didn’t make many friends when he was at school 2-3 if he was lucky but he always had one friend since it was very competitive for him to make friends, he was fat as a kid so bullying him was always easier than to make friends with the lame fat kid and the birthmark on his nose didn’t really help much at all. His school life from elementary to middle school wasn’t consistent in the sense that his family always moved so he had to make friends that didn’t last well over the semester, during middle school he didn’t tried much to make friends since his family was going to end up moving again but once his father found out the bear only got into trouble for not wanting to socialize which at the end he made friends that either ended up abandoning him or forcing himself into groups being someone he isn’t to not argue with his family, this only developed small signs of depression and repressed anger which his parents thought they were just excuses. Later he was forced into therapy by his parents due to his anger issues and self-isolation, therapy for him was nothing more than a blur as he didn’t want to cooperate, all he could remember from his sessions was one word that till this day it roams in his head “Your only stable when your sad” which ended up being true, he saw things as they were when he was sad, did better at school and even at home. After weeks in therapy was something, he just stopped attending to and just sheltered himself under music.

             During middle school and high school he decided to try dating to fill in that loneliness his felt and see where it would lead, just like most of his friends, his relationships didn’t last long at all which led from heartbreak after another, either cheating or abandoning him he was not given any closure but that they were tired of him or he wasn’t good enough which ended up damaging his own self-worth and caused overthinking, for him no matter how hard he tried he didn’t feel like it was good enough due to his own self-worth, after a while he just ignored his emotions entirely and focus on studying, being loved or hated ended up being the same for him, which oddly enough made him happy and changed his look on things but of course it wasn’t always like this, just like with anyone else there is ups and downs but it’s always the same at the end of the day for him, that’s how his mentality ended up adapting to. From that point forwards his parents finally decided to try and create a good relationship with him but for him he could feel much for them after the things he was put through by them as a cub, let alone the discipline but the fights and the abuse, he just couldn’t feel like how they feel with them. He may have been happy but keeps his dukes up from everything most of the time numb, graduating high school his pride didn’t let him be prideful of anything cause for him it wasn’t enough at least not for himself, he stopped chasing for approval from anyone. Not even 6 months after he graduated, he had his spot in “Uniat” University of advance technology where he would be taught everything he needed to know for his career, 2d and 3D, passing the test on the first time he stared at the end of the year. He met people like him, even if he didn’t socialize much he was okay with the group of 21 he was with that ended up only being 6 with him in it, during that time he had gotten into a relationship that made him feel special and happy unlike anyone else did, he pour his heart out and did all he could for her, it was like he had found his female version, that person ended up being the last person he ever truly trusted, she turned out to be abusive and manipulative but this was all the bear knew, he thought it was true love he had found but it wasn’t, at the end of it, he wasn’t strong enough to break it, he wanted to feel lie when they first met but life didn’t work like that, she ended up leaving him and hurting the bear deeply, of course this caused major emotional pain to the bear which lead him to the abuse of alcohol  and occasional smoking to free himself from the stress of it, after that he just focused on his studies, his work and his future, remembering himself every day that everyone will leave, no matter how much you give, you’ll only have yourself. Upon finishing university, he sent his demoreel work multiple companies only for one to reply back from Texas, he took the opportunity and moved to a different country parting ways with his family and once classmates to work as a game developer.

“Better here than back home, better alone than being left alone” - Beckette