🎧 CHAOS 🎧

i need to use that wonderful code template ive been using (and maybe a few others) to make this look better but i wanted to get some information down rq:

chaos's gender adventure

when chaos first discovered that he was intersex (had to do his own research because doctors Didnt bring this up), everything just sort of. Clicked for him.. gender-wise. he'd always wondered if he actually fully relates to his AGAB ever since finding out about trans people (when he was like 12-14) and having a lot of positive interactions with the community and his friends who are part of it, so.. he tried presenting more femininely for a change. and he loved it!

having longer hair was the most he experimented with at first, it taking a bit to actually get there since, yknow, hair needs to grow, but it felt so much more like... herself. yea, why not try out feminine pronouns, too? it was a little difficult to test out as he wasnt comfortable sharing any of this with anyone yet, even her pre-existing trans/transfem friends, but she would privately write about herself in third person to get a feel for it. after about a week, she was enjoying it, but felt that solely going by she/her wasnt an exact match... so he added he/him back, now going by both sets (he/him preferred).

something still didnt feel like the correct piece to the puzzle that he was made of, however. was he... nonbinary? for some reason, that term just didnt feel comfortable at the moment. still, chaos scoured anywhere she could (on the internet, anyway) for gender labels. finally, after what felt like countless nights, he came across two labels: boygirl and girlboy. just by the names alone, this felt accurate. some quick research was done to better understand the terms and how to differentiate them and, at last... boygirl. boygirl sounded right.

this was awesome to chaos; he, for a rare moment in her life, felt actual happiness at something related to who he was and is. even happy stimmed a bit _{(a.n.: not sure if he knows hes autistic yet at this point but shes been stimming her whole life)}! but, wait... boygirl is technically being nonbinary, and he still wasnt entirely comfortable with wearing that label....... eh, maybe she can just pretend its a binary thing. like, double binary... sure.

though, after about a year or so of pretending, chaos just. randomly and suddenly didnt care anymore, now feeling comfortable being under that umbrella. like, ok, maybe it was totally fine to be a binary boygirl, but.. chaos definitely hasnt been binary for a second of her life lol. she's so nonbinary that even his biological sex wasnt strictly one or the other, i mean, come on.

also, during that year of lying to himself, she discovered these radical plurtastic things called neopronouns and picked a few up _{(a.n.: still unsure if he was aware before but it def knows that mews autistic now)}.

also also at some point during all of this gender exploration, chaos finally starts going by chaos, previously only having just used his birthname _{(which is mateo. he doesnt mind telling people or being called it still as it doesnt bother her and tbh core still kinda fucks with it and doesnt consider it a deadname)}. mew got this name from the alias break uses for speed's music: stifled chaos. people would just refer to him as chaos sometimes, and it stuck in a way it really liked.

welcome to the world, chaos maxine

tl;dr: sparklecheetah discovers hes intersex, which makes it discover shes transfem, which makes mew discover speed's a boygirl, which makes break discover core's nonbinary, and also neopronouns are fun. i think hes always known hes yaoi gay though #happypridemonth (its february)