Lucian Blackwood

!Note!

His story happens in RoutArt's world - please go check out her characters and worlds!!

Phyiscal description

Lucian is about 170 cm tall, shorter than most men around him. His overall body shape is quite slender and thin with his narrow shoulders and short legs and arms. He isn't very strong, but is otherwise in good shape, and makes up for his lack of strength with his speed and agility. His skin is light, a bit pale and covered in various scars (and he will continue to get more). His hair is dark brown, almost black, and a little over his shoulders in length. His tired looking eyes are clear, piercingly blue with heavy eyelids and dark circles under them. Other notable features include his straight nose and thin lips. He also has five ear piercings: two on his right ear and three on his left ear.

Personality

Usually Lucian is a calm, quiet, withdrawn and overall a rather reserved person. He isn’t much of a socializer as he often doesn’t speak unless he is spoken to and tends to keep to himself. Most of the time he just observes people from afar, sometimes both strangers and even friends, and takes in their energy. He’s also quite shy as he has a hard time approaching or talking to people he doesn’t know, which can make him a hard person to get to know – not to mention how he warms up to new people rather slowly. Lucian is also an introverted person and likes to retreat into his own company after a long time of socializing.

Over time, Lucian has become very, very lonely. He has voluntarily chosen a solitude lifestyle and chooses to isolate himself from other people due to his past leaving him afraid of hurting or losing people close to him. Even if he claims he made the choice himself, and that it is for the best, deep down Lucian isn’t truly happy all on his own. He misses having people around at least sometimes and wishes for company – even though it’s something he strictly denies himself from having. He may even push people away because he is so used to his solitary life and is scared of letting anyone in anymore.

Lucian’s calm and quiet nature can also make him hard to read as he has a tendency to not show a lot of emotions, keeping his true feelings to himself. It may seem like he doesn’t feel much of anything in any situation, which isn’t true at all. In fact, he is actually quite a sensitive person who feels his emotions very strongly – he has just learned to hide them very well. However, this doesn’t mean that he can hide them forever as there are definitely situations that can make him easily upset, making his emotions burst out. This can end up being destructive one way or another as he doesn’t have a lot of control over his emotions once they do burst out. He isn't very good at talking about his feelings either, which only makes this worse.

Despite his cold and rough exterior, Lucian has a good and kind-hearted interior. If somebody does manage to befriend him and stick around, they get a loyal friend for life. Lucian is a kind and gentle personality with lots of compassion and empathy. He is ready and willing to help his loved ones in any way he can, whether through just being there for them or through tangible actions. He wants his close ones to feel good and loved, and makes sure to show his appreciation whenever he can. Lucian is the type of person who shows his love mostly through actions, but he is working on also voicing his feeling out lout. Overall Lucian is a very caring, loving person who is ready to go through hell if it helps or protects his loved ones. He is ready to do almost anything to keep someone in his life if they do stick around. He is also the type of person who doesn’t have to go on big adventures to enjoy someone’s company – sometimes being in each other’s company, not saying a word, is all that is needed. Even though Lucian does have a tendency to overthink and worry about his and others’ lives, he is trying to live in the moment, enjoying the people he has in his life rather than worrying about who he had or who he could lose.

Lucian is a very selfless person who makes a lot sacrifices for the people he cares about. This selflessness isn’t always good, however, as he tends to forget himself. He is a person who almost lives through other people, dismissing his own needs and wants - he may even belittle himself if it means someone he cares about can thrive. Many years of solitude, depression and PTSD have left him with a bad self-esteem that only feeds into his fears and submissive nature. He has a very hard time standing up for himself or setting boundaries out of fear of hurting his loved ones – but also out of feeling like he doesn’t deserve these things, even if they would benefit him. He doesn't think he's worth pretty much anything, and has a tendency to blame himself for everything, viewing his loved ones almost through rose-tinted glasses, even if the fault is in the other person and not him. With this also comes his almost relentless habit of apologizing for almost everything, even if there was no real need for it.

Overall Lucian is a kind and loving person with a big heart and almost just as big personal problems that are slowly eating him away.

Extra

•  Can play the piano and is overall a musical person. He wishes music could be a bigger part of his current life.
•  Loves both coffee and tea, though the latter more
•  Has a British-like accent
•  Has a bad habit of smoking to relieve stress that he is trying to quit with varying results
•  Has an heirloom ring with family related carvings on it. Lucian either wears it on his finger or with a chain as a necklace.
•  Lucian is a very clean person. He hates when things are messy and likes organizing and cleaning. He also enjoys doing laundry.
•  He also likes cooking, baking and reading
  
•  His apartment is full of various houseplants, one notable one being Jorma the Cactus
•  Has a super secret notebook where he writes song lyrics about things and feelings he experiences that he can't quite express in any other way. He would rather die than show it to anybody.
• Suffers from frequent panic attacks and undiagnosed PTSD and depression
• His MBTI would be either INFJ-T or ISFJ-T