Deerwillow

Deerkit was born in Shadowclan near the end of leaf-fall, the only surviving kit of his litter. As a kit, Deerkit was content with life, happy to stay with his mother in the safe comfort of the nursery. He did not look forward to someday becoming an apprentice, the life of a warrior sounding like a terrifying life to live. He was always timid and shy, refusing to play with other kits and remaining on his lonesome, despite his mother encouraging him to make friends. Deerkit always preferred to spend his days with his mother, watching the autumn leaves fall and enjoying simple life by his mothers side.

When the day came for him to become an apprentice, Deerkit was completely terrified. Even though his mother told him of how honourable it was to become an apprentice, Deerkit didn't want any part of it. However, it seemed he had no say in the matter. So with his mother watching proudly, he became an apprentice, being named Deerpaw and apprenticed to Frostediris. He didn't want to sleep in the apprentices' den all alone, away from his mothers side. He didn't want to train, he didn't want to hunt or fight. Deerpaw found his nights in the apprentice's den lonesome, the young tom unable to sleep most nights as his anxiety became worse. His mentor believed him more fit as a kittypet, and he had no relationships with his denmates. He was alone, the young tom yearning to return to the nursery everyday. Then things only became worse for Deerpaw, as a sickness ravaged through all the clans, forcing the sick to quarantine while the healthy searched tirelessly for a cure. Thankfully Deerpaw and his mother were safe from the illness, but one day, the clans had to fight rogue groups to get the cure. Fallowtrot died during the battle, leaving Deerpaw destroyed and more alone than ever. He truly felt alone in the world now, the young tom falling into a state of depression for the rest of his apprenticeship.

Somehow managing to complete his training, Deerpaw earned the name Deerwillow for his gentle and somber nature. Although still affected by the loss of his mother, Deerwillow did his best to move forward. He did his Warrior duties to the best of his abilities, despite being horrible at it, but he mostly found himself in the nursery and helping the queens care for their kits. In the nursery is where he felt most happy, though he dared not remain as he felt he did not belong. However, one day while out in the territory on his own, the mewls of kits caught his attention. Two kits, named Willow and Hornet, lost and hungry, fluffy pelts covered in thorns and prickles. Two kits needing a home. Deerwillow felt the strong need to take them in as his own, finally joining the ranks of the queens as he raised Willowkit and Hornetkit. He had never been happier after finding them, the life of a father bringing him purpose and joy that he’s never felt before. Deerwillow took after his own mother, although proud of his kits becoming apprentices, he worried over them like a doting father. Despite his worries, he remained in the nursery as a perma-queen, helping with kits even if his own were growing up. He was finally happy and content in his own clan…Though, Starclan did not let that last…In the middle of the night, lightning struck and set the forest ablaze. Deerwillow survived with heavy injuries after saving a kit from the fire, but his own two kits were nowhere to be seen. Even after the clan returned to their camp once it was safe enough, his kits bodies were never recovered. Deerwillow’s heart was shattered, falling into a deep depression, feeling guilty for being unable to protect his children. Then the guilt turned to anger towards Starclan. Now he is an empty shell of who he used to be…Cold, quiet, tired…Deerwillow now remains alone, avoiding his clanmates more than ever, putting no effort to care for himself.