Silvershadow is scared of nearly everything that lies outside of her nest, but some of her last prominent fears include loud noises, spiders, heights, the dark, judgment, yelling, confrontation, conflict, thunderstorms, hares, horses, predators, and deep water. She is most comfortable in camp, surrounded by loved ones, though she does take serving her Clan seriously (more so than ever, now that she’s been made deputy) and will brave the outside world to do her warrior duties. Still, she has her days where everything is too much for her and will do her best to convince her loved ones to snuggle the day away with her. She is a better hunter than she is a fighter, bringing back prey even in the depths of leafbare but losing even in playful spars; which she *does* enjoy, especially above real battles, if only because it’s time spent with her friends. Despite her anxiety, Silvershadow is a dedicated member of LochClan, always wanting to push herself just a little harder until she’s become a warrior she can be proud of herself for being.

She doesn’t know if she’ll ever be.

But that doesn’t stop her from trying.

Just looking at her can make other cats feel stressed: she always holds herself so tense that it hurts sometimes, she’s overly alert and ready to jump at any sudden noise, and she is liable to trip over herself when she tries to talk to someone. That’s right, she has social anxiety, too! If she does even the slightest thing wrong, she’ll assume that everyone around her hates her, and so she does her best to stay on her best behavior. She will also try to stay on good terms with her Clanmates, doing as someone asks of her as soon as possible or taking it upon herself to do favors for them. Talking to other cats, especially strangers, is something she has to hype herself up for, and if she ever lands in a situation where she doesn’t know what to say she is going to be very awkward. Conversely, as long as she has time to prepare what she wants to say, she can be very articulate at times: pacing the length of camp and rehearsing what she wants to say in her head is perfect for making sure she gets her message across, after all. It also makes her a bit more likely to stand up to someone in a position of authority, given enough time: the cats around her may be worried about what happens if they tell their authorities a problem they have with them, but Silvershadow is worried about that with everyone, so it really isn’t that much of a different process.

She can be clingy at times but knows that having everyone she cares about in her line of sight at all times is unrealistic, so it’s rare for her to voice those kinds of wants. When she’s forced to be apart from someone unexpectedly it can affect her deeply, and will she’ll stick to herself until she has time to recover or the cat in question comes back.

Gatherings, especially as of late, can be hard for her to handle. Sitting with the other authorities makes her shake like a leaf and she’s more of a listener than a talker, happy to sit back and let the other deputies or head apprentices or healers make conversation, only contributing when prodded to — and those contributions are probably very awkward. In general, her new position stresses her: why did Snarlecho make her deputy? What if she’s doing something wrong? How can she be trusted with so much authority, when there are so many other cats who would do it better? She isn’t confident at all in her new position but is determined to do her best, even at the cost of her own health and well-being.

Born as the single daughter of a litter of three, Silverkit was always the biggest sibling, if only because she was a fast grower. Her kithood was fairly standard, with Bluekit being quite protective of her, the steadfast guardian between her and the bush that rustled when she wasn’t expecting it to, and Palekit often off in his own world but finding cool little objects to bring back to his siblings to show off. Their parents were proud of all three of them but had a hands-off (paws-off?) parenting style, allowing them to do as they wanted as long as they weren’t causing trouble or getting hurt.

Her apprenticeship was less standard. Her mentor, a tom named Firethorn, wasn’t fond of her, thinking of her as a lost cause that he was saddled with. He hardly ever trained her at first and Silverpaw relied on Bluepaw to catch her up while she simultaneously stopped him from confronting Firethorn in the middle of camp for all to see. When she gave a satisfactory performance during a spar he began to take more interest in her education, but he still had little patience for her. Silverpaw strived to become an apprentice that he would be proud to train but never quite made it: by the time her apprenticeship ended, they were closer than they had been when she was six moons old, but far from friends.

Silvershadow was disappointed in herself for not meeting her own expectations, beginning to think of herself as a bad warrior. This made her determined to push herself more, volunteering for patrols and always making sure to bring something back when she went hunting. When she got an apprentice of her own, she was more than surprised, but quickly gained the determination to be an encouraging and helpful mentor. Ever since Fishpaw was assigned to her, she has been putting almost all her energy into teaching him.

Until the White Death.

Both her parents, Firethorn, and Bluefang died in it. It was the loss of her brother that hit her hardest, grief making her useless for hours, for what she thought would turn into days.

Then Snarlecho shocked her out of it by making her her deputy.