Izaäk Kloet

The Journal of Doctor Izaäk Kloet of the ship Barcosa, 1802.

[day 1] [The doom clock tolls twice] We have been at sea some 3 weeks now. This morning I awoke to find the able seamen gathered all at the rails. As I joined them to look out, I was hit by the awful scent of rot. The sea was a carpet of death, all manner of oceanic life floating at the surface. Seabirds took advantage of the feast, diving and devouring ravenously. In all my years as a ship’s doctor I have not seen such awful sights. I implored the sailors to dredge up a netful of the rot, and took this wretched bounty to the sick bay. Taking a sizable fish from the lot, I cut open its belly to find it full of bloated organs not at all suitable in size, shape, or type. I cannot make heads nor tails of this mess.

[day 2] [The doom clock tolls twice] Today it is raining. There is an unending roar of thunder ringing in my ears that the rest of the crew cannot seem to hear. I washed down this awful thunderous headache with laudanum from my stores. The rest of the day has passed in miserable blur, I am sure I have prescribed someone with something but I cannot recall what.

[day 3] [mercifully, the doom clock does not toll] Although the terrible noise has fled, today I feel queasy. I went above deck for fresh air which had cleared my head somewhat when all of a sudden a large wave kicked our vessel and nearly sent me over the side. I’d have been altogether lost if not for the quick moving of a jack tar by the name of Arndt.

[day 4] [the doom clock tolls once] Near midday today, our ship’s cannons fired all at once. The gun master claims to have nothing to do with it. Two of the cannons had not been adequately secured to be fired and have crushed through a supporting beam on the gun deck, as well as having trampled the gunner’s mate. He is in the sick bay with me now. His left leg is broken in two places, but I feel sure he will be well in time.

[day 5] [the doom clock tolls twice] The thankless wretch in the sick bay has accused me of stealing a silver plated ring he’d allegedly come aboard with. I’ve never seen the thing but his accusations do not relent. The captain has ordered a search of my quarters and the sick bay, which of course turned up nothing. In the night an awful storm has broken out. Worse than that which caused my headache a few days ago. Lightning has struck the mizzen mast and caught it afire. As I write now, it has been put out and the sailmaker and carpenter are at work with emergency repairs. I fear our arrival in Java will be delayed. [day 6] [the doom clock tolls twice] From the very depths I have heard voices all day. Tormenting me endlessly, the wails of those I have failed to save before. They warn of liars, those who are not what they seem, and those whose motives are hidden. I cannot sleep, and I feel there is no one I can speak of this to.

[day 7] [the doom clock tolls twice] I spent my day hidden away in the med bay, in every face aboard I see only the potential for betrayal. I gave the gunner’s mate a large dose of laudanum at the start of the day to quiet him. As night falls now, I see unfamiliar shapes among the stars. Everything wrong and out of place. Our compasses spin aimlessly. The crew is in a panic but I can only find comfort in the knowledge I am no longer alone in this insanity.

[day 8] [the doom clock tolls twice] I ventured out of my room today, to fetch food. As I returned Arndt lunged at me from the dim of one of the cabins. He clutched onto my shirt and howled in a crazed manner. His words were stumbling and disjointed with panic. All I could understand was something about gods, and not returning home. He pulled away and disappeared into the lower decks before I could question him. I sat in the medical bay feeling shaken for some time before gathering the nerve to search for him. I found in the bowels of the ship, a gathering of those 3 robe-clad passengers I’d not seen since boarding. They gathered around Arndt, now prone on the floor, chanting. The tallest among them held a dagger in hand, twisted and weathered as though pulled from the bottom of the sea. As he raised it, I turned away and have retreated in fear to my room. Poor Arndt, I fear to see the state of him when no doubt he is brought to the medical bay. I believe now I understand more of what Arndt had said to me today. The Lord has turned his back on us, now only I hope whatever awful thing sermon was held for below decks be kinder.

[day 9] [the doom clock tolls twice] I saw nothing of Arndt today and, although no one else can provide his whereabouts, the captain refused to believe my account of yesterday’s events. He accused me of misusing my medical supply and sent me away. I have spent the afternoon and evening searching the ship for him and yet as I walked the decks seemed to stretch endlessly, and wind impossibly. Just as I began to despair, I found myself at my own cabin door. I fear to leave again. I spend the night in uncertain prayer to whatever it is that holds the ship Barcosa in its grasp.

[day 10] [the doom clock tolls twice] After a few fitfull hours of sleep I have awoken to a cold weight in my berth. When I sat up, I found the corpse of one of the stewards lying alongside me. I all but threw myself out of my bed, hitting the floor with a crash which brought the carpenter to look in on me. He seemed strangely unperturbed and only helped me move the cadaver to the medical bay, standing silently and observing as I examined the body. Something moved beneath the skin of the belly and, with shaking hands, I cut it open. Once more I was faced with organs entirely unsuitable to what I had cut into, and from among them slithered a live octopus. As I reeled back in surprise, the beast made an oddly hasty retreat into the shadows beneath the table and could be found no more.

[day 11] [the doom clock tolls once] Everywhere I look today I have seen strange symbols, of no alphabet known to me and yet I am quite sure they must spell out something. I had seen them on the hands of the robed figures, and etched into Arndt’s skin as he lay before them. I see them even now when I close my eyes. I could not sleep tonight, even my own berth seeming hostile against me. In hope of some reprieve from this tormentuous dread that pursues me, I ventured above deck. As I stood staring skyward, I heard a most repulsive squelching and my attention was drawn to a beast like nothing I’d seen before. It seemed to creep like a sea star, slowly with thick clumsy arms, and gleamed oddly in the moonlight. Only its drawing near revealed this gleaming to be thousands of wet eyes covering its whole being. Its shape is wholly indescribable beyond this, only that it was as large as a whale, or larger. It clung to the side of the ship, listing her towards it, and my feet slid from beneath me. I screamed but no watchmen could be summoned. I must’ve quickly fainted for I do not recall what happened next. Here now I lie with only an arm covered with odd sucker bruises to show for it. I am sure those robbed passengers are responsible for this nightmare and every one preceding it on this journey.

[day 12] [the doom clock tolls twice] Kho'gn Xhthul xhu. Vho! Vho! Kho'gn Rh'uhl xhthol fhro'gn. Vho! Kho'gn Xhthul xhu. Vho! Vho! Kho'gn Rh'uhl xhthol fhro'gn. Vho! Kho'gn Xhthul xhu. Vho! Vho! Kho'gn Rh'uhl xhthol fhro'gn. Vho!

[day 13] [the doom clock tolls once] I have implored the captain to meet with me to discuss the events afflicting our ship, however when I entered the aftcastle to speak with him, I was met with something wholly unhuman. It had the face of a crab, if ever such a beast truly had a face, and spoke to me in words I have only heard in these recent nightmares, although I could understand them all as clearly as my own native Dutch. It seemed to act as the captain, not noticing my horror at its visage. It dismissed me as the captain had earlier. Has it always been the captain?

[day 14] [the doom clock tolls once] While examining a jack tar complaining of a toothache, I saw something seem to move under the skin at the back of his throat. I asked him if he felt unwell aside from the sore tooth and he stated not, seeming to grow wary. After this he quickly left with the prescribed medication for the pain. I cannot get the sight out of my mind. What else here is not what it seems, just beneath the skin? When I later ventured out of the medical bay for dinner, I found the ship an unfamiliar place. It is barely to be counted as a ship at all anymore, but more so a rotting corpse of wood or perhaps some unholy cathedral. As I walked in search of anything worth eating, every sailor I passed was pale faced and unreactive, only chanting “Kho'gn Xhthul xhu. Vho! Vho! Kho'gn Rh'uhl xhthol fhro'gn. Vho!”. In some I can see the very will to think, to escape at all, fleeing quickly. I hastened back to the medical bay and have hidden here watching the walls warp. Surely this is a punishment for being so quick to forfeit faith.

[day 15] [the doom clock tolls once] I slept on the sick cot and woke to a room draped in green akin to the lights that fill the sky when sailing far north. I peered out my window to see a vast swath of colors in the sky, greens and blues and colors I am sure I’ve not seen before. My mind tries even now to assign them familiarity. A bright greenish sort of a purple? Not at all. There is no space to describe it.

[day 16] [the doom clock tolls once] I have once again set out in search of food. As I wandered the spindly plank walkways that suspend through no visible means above the water, I saw Arndt. He was still alive for the time I walked up to him, but as I neared I could see his light fading. He sank to the ground just as I reached him, with a soft apology on his breath. I knew not what for. What I had first believed to be debris caught on his tattered clothing proved to be jagged coral growing directly through his skin. I doubt I could have done anything for him even if I’d had the nerve to leave the medical bay sooner.

[day 17] [the doom clock tolls once] This morning I awoke above deck. At least I assume this is above deck, I can see the sky. The sky is beneath us now, an endless pit of stars that causes my stomach to turn. Above is a sea of worlds, like something from a dream. My mind feels stretched thin trying to understand how this is possible. The captain has ordered the ship around, toward that expanse of dream. I am unsure how the ship in this state moves at all, but these cities of shapes and colors like nothing I’ve seen before grow larger, closer, with every minute. Kho'gn Xhthul xhu. Vho! Vho! Kho'gn Rh'uhl xhthol fhro'gn. Vho!