The Mind's Links
[I've sat idly by for years and for years as you led us. I can't help but hate you as I witness you fall apart. Drowning in emotions gets us nowhere; we've spent too many days rotting alone in our room. I can't help but hate myself, too, when I know I could've forced us to be more efficient through these crises of years past.
You only ever meant to aim the gun at yourself, but I was caught in the crossfire. I will always be caught in the crossfire. It shouldn't be so amusing, and yet I cannot help but laugh as I see my own pathetic attempts to regain control reflected upon you.
I just wish we could move on, I want us to improve. I know how painful this Apathy may be, ironic as that is.
I am afraid to fall back into that cycle of rot, and yet locking you away has only caused our decay to quicken. Perhaps Something must feel, perhaps these hues must variate, to escape the rot.]
[I greet you with an apology, my old Heart.]
(I was in control before, and now you've left me forsaken. I always hated myself for falling apart as I do. Somehow I had never considered that your sympathy could run dry as well.
I can't help but feel like a scourge upon us. I despise myself, I had wished to free us of the burden I carry, and yet it only hurt you. Is that regret not a lie, as well? Maybe I want to hurt you; you mocked me for years, you laughed as I dug our grave, you tore the crown from my head. I'm not sure, but claiming falsities of your villainy got us nowhere.
It hurts, so, so much. I know you're hurting too. You have hurt me, I have hurt you. Can we ever forgive each other? I don't know. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for the harm I've caused another, even if that other is my own self. I cannot call you a monster; that lie would always fall apart eventually. Perhaps we can heal together, variating these hues as we get lost, together, in thought.)
(I extend my hand with an apology; let's bury this burden of Apathy.)