Bernie Biggtop

Bernie Biggtop is known to most people as "grumpy lady behind the ticket booth." She doesn't mind. Four hours of sleep and six cups of  coffee a day don't make her partial to conversation, anyway. Those who really know her, however, recognize her as a down-to-earth woman with a heart  full of gold and a brain full of sarcastic humor. She's the kind of lady you'd invite over for coffee to share some funny stories and general  life advice. Unless it's Sunday. Then she'd tell you all about how  Saturday Night's wrestling match was boring and how CWE's new management  ruined everything and how it was so much better in the 80's and how  there's nothing good on TV anymore and how kids these days missed out. Makes you wonder why she even watches it, then. Maybe she just likes to complain.

Since she lives with her younger brother, Bernie believes herself to be the responsible one. However, she often overestimates her own wisdom, making serious lapses in judgement such as  covering the RV with catnip to deter pigeons, putting a spoon in the microwave to make it easier to scoop ice cream, substituting glue with molasses because "This stuff's thick enough to stick a grizzly bear to a clothesline," and so on. However, what she lacks in logic she makes up for in compassion. She may be cranky most of the time, but she's quick to soften up when a friend needs a listening ear or a crying shoulder.

Trivia

• Bernie loves cats, newspaper comics, and those mugs that say "Don't talk to me until I've finished my coffee."
• She's been using the same flip phone since 1999.
• She has a massive sweet tooth, especially for chocolate and soda.

Relations

• Buckley Biggtop's older sister
• Minko Le'Muute's best friend
• Captain Sharkbait's "rival."
• Doctor Shrimp's actual rival.
• Dr. Edvard De Vogel's favorite patient.