About

TLDR;; Delilah herself is one to keep to herself, assuming the worst of anything new and finds being social is difficult. She more naturally resorts to being polite around strangers & acquaintences, although has definitely gotten snippy when patience and tolerance doesn't work with a consistently rude/mean individual. Although she can open up more to friends, especially if comfortable around them, she still tends to find difficulty in being herself. However, she can be a goofball, and loves to make others laugh. She tries her best to find the good in everyone and be accepting. Nonetheless, confrontation of any kind - whether respectful or not - can make her jittery and when she comes down from any particularly angry "high," she can get teary. If she gets embarassed, it can be something she fusses over internally for awhile. She can be very sensitive and easily distressed, and when she cries it can be very difficult for her to stop if she's continuously pestered/not given time to process, or if she herself lets her thoughts overthink, which is an often occurence either way of her emotional tendencies.

fearful

Some of her fears stem from her anxieties, but there are some that have nothing to do with it. The stereotypical space alien - green or grays - is the one that sticks out the most. They terrify her, she can't even stand the mention of them without getting irritated, and she's had multiple nightmares surrounding them. Where this stems from, she isn't sure. A single look at an image can send her straight into a frightful panic and she'll leave a room entirely to get away from it entirely.

Clowns and spiders have been two phobias of her's she doesn't quite know where they came from, however are more tolerable. Though she's tried to find some appreciation for spiders, she does tend to overreact over even a small one she may find in her own room. This trend applies to multiple bugs, particularly ones that can sting or bite, or just are generally creepy. She is extremely fearful of roaches in particular, having had an experience in an old apartment that left her with a negative impression of the bug.

New things in general, she finds a tendency to be wary of at least if not fearful. Though she has a basic knowledge of swimming, deep water is a nope to her. She rarely goes to waterparks except maybe the lazy river, if there is one. She hasn't learned to drive and holds no interest in learning. Going anywhere alone for even a short period of time makes her incredibly antsy, finding it practically impossible. Even applying herself to a new interest can be a massive obstacle, especially if it means others seeing it, for fear of failure, embarrassment, and so on.

Following up on embarrassment, Delilah grew up being teased by her family quite a lot. It was never particularly personal or harsh - it was simply how her family treated each other. Nonetheess, due to her awkward or clumsy tendencies, these pokes of fun would rile her up as a child and likely aided to her later avoidance of doing anything she didn't intend for. Some situations, such as falling out of a chair accidentally, were easier to recover from as she instinctually would laugh it off and say she was fine and move on - perhaps particularly around strangers, as she would instinctually do what would get the attention off her the soonest. Yet when around friends, if it's not something she does intentionally, she can get much more flustered and worked up. Over course, this is more case-by-case. In general, her embarassment can easily jump to feeling total humiliation, which can again get her worked up.

vulnerability

Being one to keep her head down and try to keep the attention off herself, communication for her can be a struggle if not downright unbearable. Her family didn't particularly push for being communicative about feelings except when it was nearly too late. Thus, when she tries to be deeply honest about her deepst emotions, she easily gets choked up and can't really speak. So, if she's absolutely cornered into sharing, she would very much rather write it out. Even then, making herself emotionally vulnerable is terrifying for her, thus she becomes rather sensitive and responds best to a gentler hand.

She can act more defensive, especially if she feels she's being treated a particular way when she otherwise didn't act provokingly. Delilah practically *despises* being talked to condescendingly in a serious manner, and though she herself can raise her voice and get angry without too much trouble, if one were to act aggressively to her, she can break down quickly, run, hide, and beat herself up. Her self esteem and confidence is one that is extremely lacking both for herself in personality/self, as well as physically. She can be fairly self-deprecating, however is trying to do what she can to better herself.

the backbone

It isn't often shown, again, due to her patient and tolerant manner. Delilah was raised to be polite, and with some slight influence from her mother, she tries to see the best in everyone without sharing judgement. However, if someone is consistently rude, mean, unfair, or generally just obnoxiously entitled and hateful, her anger can spike and she can get snappy. This is her absolute last resort, as she generally tries her best to keep situations calm and de-escalate anything she feels is beginning to develop tension or keep her mouth shut. Fortunately, as this is generally a rare occurence that most seem to realize is rare, it has managed to work in some way. However, with family (as anyone else has their moments liviing together), if she is irritated consistently, she can be more easily annoyed and arguments aren't so easily calmed, though she often is the mediator.

On the other hand, her backbone may make some appearance with both family and friends a bit more often in the form of sarcasm. She's more of a light teaser when it comes to jokes and sarcasm often mingles its way in. Though she does enjoy making others laugh, she may not slip into her more comedic side until she knows a little more of a person's funny bone.

Themes

rain on me  [ crybaby ]

though often a bit dry, when she gets in her feels, good luck stopping it because it may as well be a dam smashed open.

breathin'  [ anxiety ]

almost a daily occurrence. but when the attacks hit, they are insufferable.

somebody to love  [ longing ]

...god i'm tired and lonely lmao

fear  [ emotions ]

shown to me by my dad several years ago, & was inspiring as fear is something I struggle with overcoming

happier  [ care ]

though perhaps not always obvious, Delilah cares very much for others & would often silently give up something in exchange for the happiness of others

intro III  [ loathing ]

tbh...just a great song & relatable; it's like a "conversation" with fear & how controlling it can be, but also the realization that it's up to you to control it.

wait for it  [ inspiring ]

idk why it just feels powerful and emotional and beautiful,,