Agent John Smith

Not a person he is just an extension of the United States government (or at least he likes to think so)

Guy whose entire thing is being calm and collected and composed. He's here to do a job and then leave. Zero emotional involvement.

Unfortunately for him he's constantly hanging out with a completely unhinged individual who breaks his composure all the time because WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT LIKE THAT HOW DID YOU EVEN FIGURE THAT OUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Has no sense of identity beyond his job. He's not married to his work; he IS his work. He IS the United States and its interests.

Faceless, emotionless, individuality-less clone. And proud of it. His humanity is a liability. If it were up to him he would not even be human. Maybe a robot. Just a machine optimized for taking and carrying out orders. Doesn't realize this is weird.

John Smith is, of course, an alias. The number of people who know his real name is in the single digits, and includes his mother, a handful of high-ranking government officials, and Fr Killian. His real name is barely better than John Smith.

He's probably nonbinary but he has a job so he rdc about that rn

Doesn't realize it, but deep down he's desperate for approval and recognition.

Fr Killian and he have this weird rivalry going on. Like neither is trying to one-up the other but they each think the other is kinda better than him and is extremely bothered by it. They are very bothered by each other. Fr Killian sees Agent Smith as a threat to him and his Whole Thing because he does everything he does but cleaner and more efficient. And Agent Smith is scared of Fr Killian because if he can do everything he does with millions of dollars of government funding and research but with electrical tape, cough syrup, and a lemon, well, let's just say it's a good thing he's too much of a mess to have access to the millions of dollars in government research and technology.

Anyway by "bothered" I more mean "hot and bothered" cuz they end up very spontaneously hooking up and it shakes Agent Smith's world not just cuz the sex was that good but also he wasn't gay before this and also his worldview and sense of self are upset like he barely considered himself human before, let alone an animal with instincts like "sex drive". Anyway they end up hooking up a few more times and at first Agent Smith is all like "this... was a mistake" especially cuz the first few times are very heat-of-the-moment, but pretty soon he's like. really desperate and needy and attached. And he is sooooo embarrassed by it btw. But for Fr Killian it's just sex. Like maybe they're friends now too? (which is also big for Agent Smith because he's never had friends before but I digress). But it's very casual to him. Until he notices that Agent Smith is being really clingy and jealous and he's like "oh he wants more" and they settle into a kind of informal relationship.

Anyway hooray the hot gay priest broke him in multiple different ways which opened the door for him having to consider his own identity.

Huuuuuge feminist but not because he particularly respects women or has done any thinking about political theory or anything. It just bothers him when he's treated differently from someone and that includes women, and he's smart enough to recognize that women are treated worse so the logical conclusion is that women should be treated equal to men. Like... his job is basically "you're not an individual you are one of many identical tools." They're all supposed to be functionally identical, so when he's doing a partner or group job and one of them is treated differently because she's a woman... it's like it breaks the illusion for him. Like, he knows there are different genders and he recognizes that people are those genders, but their whole deal is that they've forgone any personal identity and aren't acting as people but rather as the arm of the organization. It deeply disturbs him. Like, if someone is treating his partner a certain way because of her gender, that means they're treating him a certain way because of his gender. In a similar vein, if they were both treated like women, he wouldn't mind (well. he'd mind because women are treated badly but his problem would be the "being treated badly" not the "being treated like a woman.")

Harbors no ill will towards trans people but is probably unwittingly transphobic (particularly to nonbinary people) as a result of assuming his experiences are universal. Like "Well no-one actually feels like a man or a woman, that's just a quick way to approximate things for easy understanding. But no-one actually has any feeling or experience of gender internally. So of course you don't feel like a man or a woman, or want to be a man or a woman, or feel drawn to a particular gender. That's how it is for everyone." <- guy who hasn't realized he's nonbinary. The "Being gay is a choice because I'm attracted to men and women but I choose to be straight by only dating women" of transexuality.

Probably nonbinary and autistic and alterhuman (and those are probably all linked) but he's never has to think or worry about it because his job meets all his needs for it. Like his job description is half a step away from being "stop being a human and be a machine instead" which is pretty much his ideal existence. That's how he naturally wants to behave. He really doesn't like being a person. He's much more interested in being a faceless automaton. If he found out he was somehow secretly a clone he'd probably be relieved because it means he's not really a real individual person. He's really just hoping that within his lifetime they learn how to upload someone's consciousness to a clock or a tank or something.

Mixed race; can be White passing in certain situations. Black hair, dark brown eyes. Maybe 6 feet tall. Only ever wears his suit.