Cross Where Paths Meet

Cross is very closed cat. He shields his emotions behind a cold demeanor. He is extremely loyal and follows the code strictly, as well as any orders given by cats of importance. He doesn't lose his temper quickly, but tends to become snappy and harsh if provoked enough. In frustrating situations he is more likely to remove himself from the situation or go quiet. He isn't very active in converstations if there are cats he doesn't know particularly well. He prefers to listen, but he will politely announce his opinion if needed, but hates being ignored or spoken over when he speaks up.

He has learned to keep his walls up at all times and it's a habit he struggles to free himself from. It's easier for him to diminish his own presence, wants and needs than to assert himself. He was never encouraged as a kitten to grow out of his shyness and low confidence. Under his shell he is quite funny in a curious way, passionate, kind and if not a little fretful.

He had an average cubhood -- with the exception of extreme isolation his mother put him and his sister through. Ever since his birth the only cats he was allowed to interact with were his family of three, his denmates and occasionally healers and their helpers. His mother, Needle on Great Pine, envisioned a great future for her kittens and a plan how to achieve it. The plan was to eliminate any distractions. Any emotion skills were not taught to them and were even encouraged to bottle up everything and seem apathetic at all times. Needle firmly believed that emotions are in the way of pure logic. For an expressive and sensitive youngling as Cross was, his mother's demands were hard to live up to. It took a great toll on his mental health and led him to becoming very withdrawn. Needle's love was entirely conditional and hard to achieve.

Needle demanded the right to train her son through his general traineehood until he has chosen the path he'll take with the rest of this training. While was highly unusual, the chief of the camp allowed it with the leader's output. Being so closely monitored by his mother stressed Cross immensely through his younglinghood and isolated him further from his peers. Cross never had it in him to stand up againts his mother's demands and thus allowed it. Training sessions with his mother were harsh and exhausting as she barely gave him enough time to wind down from the previous session. At the end of his generail traineehood he'd become quite skilled fighter with great self control. Needle had explicitly commanded him to become a lynxclaw, a ruthless fighter, and he had no other choice than to bend to her will when choosing his path.

His lynxclaw mentor was immediately concerned about his trainee's health, no matter how Cross tried to brush it off. They had a lengthy discussion about Cross's wants and dreams and his mentor could see through his bluff. Eventually, through gritted teeth, he admitted he wasn't sure if lynxclaw was something he wanted to be but didn't dare to disappoint his mother. Later Cross decided to switch to training as hawkeye, as a guard and protector of a camp, as he felt he could use his skills better that way, though guilt made him doubt the decision.

As predicted Needle was quite miffed with Cross's decision and chose to distance herself from him. Cross was ultimately conflicted on the matter, but completed his training and his mentor was rather happy with his skills.

Cross found himself spiralling after his ceremony and generally not enjoying himself. The rift between him and his mother bothered him but yet he didn't quite wish to repair it either. Slowly he noticed he was the odd one out of the camp and had very few connections to anyone around him. Standing still for hours with only thoughts to keep him company wasn't helping any either. Eventually bottling up everything caught up to him and ended up spilling tears some random night. Though afterwards he felt shameful for his moment of weakness, he found some clarity from the experience. He didn't feel fulfilled as a hawkeye and didn't like being unconnected from his community, so his decision was to train to become a birdsong.

In order to officially train to become a birdsong he would need to inform the leader, who would then ask around a few birdsongs to find if there were any willing to test Cross's abilities and possibly train him. He performed well enough for one of them to express interest in training him and taking him with them on their route.

Some moons later he was going through his own route independently. Cross met Cricket That Sings in Dark during his first time bringing news and Cricket stuck to him like a tick. Cross found him rather annoying at first but warmed up to him eventually. And for once he figured he was content with how things were going in his life.