Profile
Meet The Mortician! ahahha I'm so funny. Anyway.
This is Miriam, a mortician who works for TF Industries with both RED and BLU. He deals with bodies the Gravel Wars produces, whether it be the 9 mercs on both teams corpses that respawn didn't whisk away, or Miss Pauling's increasing murder victim count, he's your guy! Miss Pauling sees Miriam as an almost assistant type figure, dealing with all the aftermath when she's busy. Miriam is usually not seen much if at all in actual fights between both teams, and is a non-combatant! He has little to no combat experience, and would immediately die if he set foot on your average Dustbowl match. Miriam has a morgue at both team bases, and travels between them often! He's never in one place, which probably isn't the best thing considering his mental state, but what can ya do? He doesn't usually travel with the other mercs, no matter which team he's currently with, to other states or countries, as he simply gets the bodies delivered to him back in New Mexico by administration regardless, and he already does enough travel for a lifetime anyway. Miriam claims he doesn't have a favorite team, because that would be kinda mean to the other guys, but it's BLU. He much prefers BLU. For… Reasons. Reasons that are 6'4" and weigh over 300 pounds. Reasons that start with "H" and end with "Eavy Weapons Guy."
His obvious crush on BLU Heavy aside, he just prefers the more calm vibe of BLU base to RED. Miriam is a man that values peace, quiet and space to let him do his job without constant explosions and yelling all the time. Yelling makes him nervous. He does not know why. Besides that, Miriam's job is to obviously... be a mortician, but when he's not doing that, he runs experiments on respawn failure bodies. He has an extreme morbid curiosity for the barely recognizable bodies of his colleagues, and wants to figure out what effects the respawn cause on the human body. Miriam is known to collect smaller organs or parts that he can keep from respawn failure corpses and keep them in jars to display in the morgue. Things such as mangled hearts, a pair of arms conjoined at the elbow, very fucked up skulls, hands with too many fingers, or even more body horror shit I don't have the ability to properly describe. He'd geek out in the Emesis Blue universe, that's all you really need to know.
Backstory? Miriam doesn't know! The earliest thing he can remember, and even that's extremely fuzzy, is applying to TF Industries with work experience he doesn't remember having with a resume he doesn't remember making. As far as he knows, he's just a forgetful person with an out of sight, out of mind lifestyle. This is not true! Miriam is still in the early stages of recovering from a lobotomy he endured a few years prior to TF Industries. He suffers from very short term memory loss, motor functions not always… Functioning, and bouts of anxiety or total loss of autonomy via breakdowns and entering altered mental states. The poor guy usually gets help from Miss Pauling when he has these moments, but when she isn't around he's mostly left to himself partly of his own volition, but mostly because his general demeanor creeps everyone who isn't Medic or Heavy out.
Miriam is best described by others as an extremely forgetful, off-putting and maybe unsettling man who is always weirdly freezing to the touch. But he really isn't all that creepy when you ignore the fascination with corpses, the bizarre sense of humor where he will cackle loudly at the most horrific and upsetting stories other people tell (they weren't even trying to make a joke…) and the extremely monotone mumbling voice. He isn't trying to be creepy, he just doesn't realize he's doing it. Miriam is not the best at social cues. Once you actually get past all that, he's more akin to a socially anxious wet cat who doesn't know how to react to being pet than anything.
He/Him, Aromantic gay non op trans man (like me :o3), voice claim is Jeffrey Combs as Scarecrow in BTAS, glasses are ALWAYS glowing like an evil anime scientist lol, has a lobotomy scar near the inner corner of his left eyeball. Speaking of, his eyes under his glasses are ALWAYS half lidded even when doing extreme expressions, with his left eye noticeably droopier than the right due to the procedure. 5'0" without shoes, 5'1" with them, lol short.
