MWINS ('JellHeads')

Active annoying Jell would be a more fitting name, to be honest.
It's a type of Jell, that can split off of the main Jell on command but doesn't dissolve like normal waste Jell would.
It's loaded up with energy, which prevents it from dissolving at all and just floats around.

It's probably what some people would see and collect as a JellBean, with the only difference that it can actually return and merge back with the main Jell.
It's like a scam JellBean.
If I could, I would buy off any of the stray blobs of Jell for double the price if anyone else got one, just to get rid of it.
But that would be too suspicious I guess.
I don't plan on spending my shards anyways.

The only way that I know of getting rid of it, is just actively using up that energy, taking it away and draining.
Like a battery, so atleast energy costs are reduced.

Just constantly having to collect all the floating bits, packing them up and moving them around is just very annoying and time consuming.
I recall someone asking me about those once, since I sneak them in weekly.
I honestly would rather not share their source.

I remember the consquences of just leaving it to the point it fills up entire rooms.
Nothing anyone wants to take care of. And it took long enough to remove it and all the stains it left.
Assistant was once lost in it and also not to mention all the things it ate up aswell.

I need to figure out how to modify it to just act normally.
I should rewrite this note someday better.
Atleast I got my main points down.
And a reminder to myself to keep cleaning it up.

I am not sure if they just have a special core or anything, but Cappuccino seems to be safe somehow. Or atleast to some degree.
I keep wondering what was used to make its core, because it doesn't mess with my head too much.

It seems almost as stable as Angels and Shadows core, which are both Natural, while Cappuccino is actually artificial.
I remember at the very start that Cappuccino's core messed with me, so maybe they kind of figured me out and controlled or suppressed it, just like the both?

I am not sure, honestly. 

Atleast I am glad that I can just go over to Coffee for a break.

What I noticed lately is, that I sleep in for days sometimes.
Which I just stamped out as normal, but now it stresses me out.

I normally tend to just go to sleep, and then wake up and see my calendar or others mentioning completly different dates than the date I would normally wake up to. Which is, yes, normally just 1 day.
But I wake up days later.

I found out that I seemed to have caused some havoc during the days, I should normally have been asleep, because I don't remember being awake at those days.
Assistant told me, but I also heard some words about me go around from the other co-workers.
I have not figured out what I do, but I need to take some measurements to prevent that.

Though I can slightly imagine what could happen if I don't.

I wish we were better at naming back then.
Or atleast remembered or knew any of our previous names.

Mine is a typo of a word that would make no sense, when translated.
Assistants name is just her job of assisting me.
Angel was almost called Angle because of me.
Shadow is just based on his color.

Atleast the name kinda fit both of the Mascots in some sense.
I guess it is to our advantage that nowadays everyone just has weird and uncommon names, that ours just kind of blend in.

I guess me and Assistant _could register for a new name.
But honestly, I can't think of any better name. Or any name that any of us to can connect too. We just grew too used to our names at this point.
I am not sure if I would even accept my old name, if I found out.

Who else, if not me.

I doubt I have ever been a team player, but here I am.
Taking the most important role in the team even.
I want to leave.
I can't leave.

This whole project would be for nothing if I did.
It would collapse if I did and I can't leave it to just Hyde alone
And I still haven't reached my goal.

Yeah right, I'd still be stuck if I did.
And who knows what would happen to Assistant if I did.
She can't always stay with me.

####
I don't even have what a leader should have.
Always saying "yeah' it's fine, it's ok", while I am actually not really ok with things, or even get upset with my "too nice" decisions.
This is why I should get other people to do it, but even they do mistakes that I will not point out, because I am "too nice".

"I am happy when they are happy"
That's atleast what I keep telling myself.
I can't connect with people, I just don't understand.

I feel bad for people who like me or look up to me.
Their feelings are one sided. Because I can't say the same to them.
I just don't have that mutual feeling.
But I wish I did, it's nothing but a bother.

I still remember when someone asked me out, even confessed to me.
I must have looked so cold when I told them that I just, don't feel the same.
Or anything at all.

I'd say I feel bad for them.
But that is also something I try to believe myself.
Am I even alive at this point?

Sometimes, I don't even feel that joy from getting gifts like I used to.
But acting like I do would just be a big lie, that I don't want to have.
Atleast people can interpret text differently to their weller being, without me lying about it.

Atleast I have a mutual feeling towards myself, right?
At this point, I am just overdoing that "Love yourself before anyone else" motto.
"Yourself and no one else" would probably fit better.

But even then, I should atleast take better care of myself. I keep drowning myself into more work whenever I feel bad, making me feel  even worse. Not sure what I am trying to accomplish with that, whenever I do. But I just do. Something I should just not do.