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1. he was essentially "born" in an ice cream shop. he also denies it
1.5 on the topic of him denying things, hes gay. (denies it) ((he’ll never be in a relationship.))
2. he got fired from a (different) ice cream shop
3. he went dumpster diving behind that shop and dug out a teapot, which got him fired
4. he goes # mental and starts seeing the teapot as his child, treating it how humans treat their offspring (he thinks it is biologically related to him. no clue how that works but! you do you man!!). he actually has oddly good parental instincts.
4.25 he talks to it as if it can respond (hes delusional. he actually hears it respond), and people think hes either talking to himself or just crazy
4.5. he actually has a fear of losing himself (he doesn’t know he already has to other peoples standards)
4.75. he hated the teapot initially, not understanding why he took it, and now is constantly anxious about whether hes able to protect it (pls let it go. ist just a teapot.🙄)
5. he only sees in neapolitan ice cream colors (hes his own breed of colorblind)
6. he does in fact melt, only if the weather is overwhelmingly hot (like, 90degF/32 2/9degC) though; most of the time hes fine [metabolism and thermoregulation go crazy. technically he is an endotherm (warm blooded), considering exotherms (cold blooded) rely on the environment for their internal temperature n that cannot apply to him. because of this, his body temperature is actually measured in kelvins so the number stays positive (and thus looks warmer) 253.15degK (or -4degF/-20degC)], it can fluctuate higher than that (to an unknown amt) or lower (down to 14F/-10C/263.15K)]
6.25. on the topic of that, if he got a fever hed die like a sickly victorian child
6.5. this man is immune to hypothermia. (not hyperthermia though. hed die.)
6.75. when its warm out, he probably carries around a whole fan. not one of the pocket ones either, like the fnaf 1 desk fan.
6.99. he can;t eat warm food. it throws off his internal temperature. the warmest food can be when he eats it is room temperature.
7. dead stare if u eat ice cream in front of him. like. more of a death stare than his side eye
8. considering how hes made of sugar, he hypothetically could have a lot of energy, but chooses not to because overexerting his energy stores/#glucose could actually kill him [for ex, how humans have excess glucose stored in glycogen, but if they deplete these stores, it starts breaking down muscle tissue to get amino acids (building blocks of proteins, btw) to perform gluconeogenesis. he doesn’t act energized because he HAS no muscle tissue, in essence, which would literally mean anywhere in his body could be targeted for glucose
9. He secretly wishes he could live a normal life, as a normal human being, with normal occupations and relationships
how fun! that last one was def the most fun of them all
