Cedar

PERSONALITY

Cedar's a very nice man- too nice, perhaps. He's very hyperempathetic, which makes him one hell of a people pleaser who also tends to take things fairly personally, especially perceived rejection. However, this trait also makes him kind to not just everyone, but also everything- he's very caring towards even the smallest of creatures, and tries his best to do as little harm as possible, period. It also makes him feel sympathy towards inanimate objects, so he tries to live as waste-free as possible so he doesn't feel bad for something he has to throw out, which has made him fairly crafty as a person. However, this also leads to him being less honest than he should, as he prioritizes sparing people's feelings over telling the truth. He tends to be a bit of a sentimental, hopeless romantic as well, and struggles with loneliness despite his optimism for the rest of the world that prevails in the face of his perpetual anxiety. He's generally very insecure and is on the brink of collapse at any moment in time, and baby, the therapy isn't helping.

He's also a little bit of a whore, or at least he would be.

DETAILS

LIKES

• bugs
• knitting
• spring
• spicy food
• gardening

DISLIKES

• loud music
• alcoholic drinks
• organized religion
• thinking about his 20s
• sweets

TRIVIA

• He has social anxiety and autism.
• He's vegetarian, and has been since 4, at least as long as he's had a choice in the matter.
• He's legally blind without his glasses.

BACKGROUND

Cedar was born in an ordinary brown-brick townhouse on the edges of the city of Specklehorn as one out of a set of twins to a pair of doting mothers. It was a pretty happy life- there were a few difficulties with his autism at first, but he was able to get the support he needed to thrive as part of the neighborhood where, despite his differences, he belonged.

And all that changed when, at the age of 8, the old gas stove finally caused an explosion, killing everyone except for him. Fortunately, his grandmother was there to take him in and ensure he wouldn't grow up in an orphanage. Unfortunately, his grandmother was there to ensure he'd grow up in a fundamentalist, technophobic cult instead, rife with homophobia, speciesism, and every other form of bigotry under the sun. He was stuck in this abusive organization, sheltered from the outside world, until at the age of 18, he was able to convince his grandmother to let him go to college, and with a forged "high school" transcript in his hand, he set off into the real world for the first time in a decade.

There, Cedar went... a little bit wild, unaccustomed to the offerings of mainstream society. Here, he started his multitude of drug binges and his habit of sleeping around, trying to find himself in a newly unoppressive life and being shoved into a party-animal lifestyle by his roommate and eventual boyfriend/pimp Fleur. Of course, Fleur's influence ceased once he was arrested for selling stolen ketamine, but that didn't stop Cedar from continuing his wild streak until he was shocked out of it by almost flunking out of his classes. From there, he had to deal with recovery from his drug habits while still keeping contact with his grandmother and associated cult and struggling in his college classes, but eventually he graduated and was able to start his career as a professor.

Of course, there wasn't a formal celebration for his graduation, as excessively self-indulgent it would apparently be, but he went back "home" for a small gathering regardless, where, in the course of an argument over his goals in life, it was revealed to him that his grandmother staged the gas explosion that had killed his parents in an effort to gain custody of him and his twin sister and save their souls in the cult she resided in. This was enough for Cedar to finally grow a backbone and break off contact with her altogether, removing one more stressor from his already hectic life in academia and his increasingly lonely adulthood.

CURRENT SITUATION

Cedar currently lives on his own in the suburbs outside the city, tending to his garden in his free time and yearning to be a better person than he is. He wishes he didn't waste his 20s, and definitely wishes he had a childhood worth looking back on, but wishing won't undo his trauma nor give him more than a one-night stand.