Profile
ARCHIE
Archie’s job is to work on escalators (loves those things, they are literally magic to him) in a failing mall that hasn’t been updated since the 80’s. The escalators at the mall hardly break so he just goes up and down the thing all day long bothering people (if anyone is even there). His unofficial job is just do whatever Andrew (his boss he hates) wants him to do.
Also he’s madly in love with his wife Barbra!!!
Childhood
Sad farmer boy
Young adult
got hired to work at the mall, meets Barbra, marries her
Adulthood
is an absolute freak for the rest of his life
NOTES
- Madly in love with his wife, Barbra
- Has a daughter named Amy
- Has a fear of being put in a closet
- Regularly cosplays as various things he likes (usually Greek stuff like Orpheus)
- Enjoys reading Peep magazine (basically his version of People), watching soap operas, and gossip
- Stupid joke character I absolutely adore
A coworker of Archie’s! The two usually hang out and avoid Andrew/doing their job. Archie loves to just go to Clarence and rant about how much he hates their boss (although Clarence doesn’t fully feel the same he doesn’t mind). A lot of the time they’ll go to the food court to hang out.
Archie’s best friend since middle school! Linus doesn’t usually agree with Archie on some things but he’ll still always be there for him and tag along on any of his adventures.
Absolutely hate this guy. Archie loves to hate on him, judge his girlfriend, and piss him off anyway possible. No idea why Andrew just won’t fire him already. Andrew is completely clueless on why Archie hates him so much. He has tried to make things right with Archie but has since given up and doesn’t care anymore.
WIFE WIFE WIFE.
ARCHIES LOVELY WONDERFUL AMAZING BEAUTIFUL WIFE. They love each other to death. Archie is Barbra’s whole world. She doesn’t speak (only to Archie but to others they can’t hear her). She also doesn’t seem to have much of a personality besides Wife who loves her husband. She and Archie have a daughter named Amy. Barbra is also friends with Kiwi (Andrew’s girlfriend) which Archie doesn’t quite like but if something makes his wife happy he won’t interfere.
