I. Past

Shi was born as the second-born and the only boy of triplets. Because of a mistake of communication, he was assumed to be a girl. Even the King and Queen, his parents, thought like that because they weren't the ones bathing him or taking care of him. Until he was 3, he lived his life as a girl. Since Shi was young, he showed interest in medical care and processes. But it were his parents, who pushed him in that direction. Influenced by the predetermined path, they picked out for him, he started his official training and studying as 16, while his sisters could relax.

Early childhood

Shi started developement early. He learnt to speak and write at such a young age by himself that quickly, everyone knew about his intelligence. WHile his sisters ejoyed playing outside, Shi enjoyed writing the most complex characters and spending late nights past his bedtime reading in candle-light. At first, he never really was interested in medicine. But his parents picked him, the second-born, as a doctor when he was three years old. Since then, they influenced him by giving him books to read which have a medical touch. Once, he got a spark of interest in medical care (through their careful influence), his parents arranged contact between Shi and dr. Ming, one of the doctors of their family. Shi was five when she took him under her wing. Ming worried about him, the fact that he was so young and pushed to see cruel fates and robbing him out of his childhood. Shi was too young to understand, focused on the excitement of learning and becoming a doctor! Not knowing, how deeply it will affect his self-esteem and mental health in a negative way. He started to learn basic anatomy and medical procedures. At first, he was excited to learn so much new, that was the thing he loved the most. But he still learnt how to write correctly and to understand empathy, that it quickly grew from excitement into a problem. He was only a kid and also autistic. No one bothered to support him or consider his needs - or even give him a break. He may never was physically abused by his parents and the people around him but he suffered from the pressure: While other children his age played carefree games, Shi studied anatomy, the effects of herbs, the way the body works and how to not break down under the pressure. Instead of feeling pride in what he was doing, he started to associate his intellect with loneliness. As an autistic kid, he needed support but instead, he went high-masking because his support needs weren't fullfilled.

Starting to struggle

As Shi grew older, the signs of his struggles where overlooked. Even as a child, Shi followed every rule and did not cross a boundary once. When offered extra tasks because of his ability to finish tasks quickly and correct, he always agreed despite being tired and exhausted. There was so much to learn, why should he say no? As a child, he was bullied, too. His struggles in social communication were immense. Shi often misinterpreted social cues. People mocked him by making him repeat his medical knowledge, repeating his odd and mechanic speech, pretending to "play" with him by making him embarass himself. He didn't even realize but at the same time, he didn't want to play "children's games": Everyone else was too Or wanting to play. After all, he couldn't be a burden and had to be perfect. His parents chose him, not his ssisters. Him. Quickly, Shi noticed the difference between him and his sisters how they'd treat them. When he came home for dinner, Shi showed clear autistic signs like refusing to eat specific foods and no one bothered to care. He was dramatic and only wanted attention. Whenever he came home from studying and learning so much, his sisters were still up. And Shi, he was expected to go to his chamber and preparing for tomorrows lessons. Shi developed jealousy towardsd his sisters. Why did they get the love of their parents by being simply princesses and he got none, despite working so hard and fullfilling their expectations? Were they disappointed? One night, when he was 9 and already in bed (when he still shared a sleeping room with his sisters) his parents gave yin and bai kisses for good night. Desperately wanting comfort and wanting to be treated like them, he asked for a kiss, too. He didn't get one. He was "too old" and "almost a man" even tho he was the same age as his siblings. They didn't saw him as a child, he was. They saw him as a doctor in training, an adult, someone with responsibility. Not even Shi could see himself has a child. He didn't even have friends. His whole time consisted out of studying, learning sessions and days in doctor's appartments and clinics. He was exposed and desensitized to blood and injuries. It was hard for him to burry his empathy and not crying for the people who he saw hurt. And yet, he still grew very close to his mentor. Hours of hours learning from her everyday altered his brain, made him feel a connection to a very special person. Ming was the one, who tucked him in, when he didn't want to sleep in his palace. She was the one, Shi asked for advice. About fevers, nightmares and what to do, when he froze and his hands didnt stop shaking. The first hand, he reached for when scared. She was the one who calmed him down, when his chest hurt and no one bothered to look at him. Offering up a place to stay when the palace got too overwhelming. The one who never looked at him with disappointment.

Conflicted teens

Even when Shi hit puberty, he struggled to make friends. No one wanted to stay long and turned away, when he was able to make a friend. Quickly, the impression of being unlikeable grew into his mindset. This couldn't have been further away from the truth. He struggles to communicate with people in his age and interpreting sings of others not wanting to have anything to do with him as them trying to be his friends. Shi never made a friend all by himself. He couldn't grasp the concept of his peers being childish and disobeying, causing trouble and insulting their parents and important figures in their lifes. When others were in their group with their friends and talking, he often randomly jouned and talked about his passion: medicine. How could he have known that he wasnt supposed to interrupt and ramble? After years of trying to make friends and loneliness, he gave up. Even tho he tried to hide the jealous feelings he got seeing his sisters with her friends. Yin always spent time with tama and her future husband. It made him feel lonely, thinking, he never would have a friend. Instead of going with these feelings to Yin or his mother, he went to Ming, his mentor. She was more of a mother to him than the queen ever was.Countless nights of Shi trying to be strong, surpressing his emotions and tears when confessing his pain to Ming. How painful the isolation was. All the effort he put in but never was enough. No matter how successful he was, how many praises he got by the adults around him: His peers didn't care. After all, they had nothing in common. Which 14 y/o is so obsessed with medicine that nothing else can ignite a spark?
While his teens were complicated and conflicted, he never dared to rebel. Shi followed all the rules, he always loved rules to follow and didn't understand if others didn't. But, he started to express his identity. Tho, he never really knew who he was except that kid who grew up way too fast. The beauty standards for bixbite crystals were usally short and neatly trimmed, even and repetitive. Shi always was fascinated by the bixbite crystal. Known for strenthen the body and helping the body to circulate the blood flow. So, he decided to let them grow and breaking tradition. Shi wanted to stand out, he wanted the attention of his parents, even if it was scolding or a forced trimming. He was sent to specialists a lot once he hit the age of 16. Forced trimming, disappointment by his parents. How could they have raised a doctor who behaves like an angry teen, they asked themselves? Eventually, other's started to notice him outside of his brilliant mind and abilities: his unique, long crystals.

Conflicted teens

His long crystals made people notice him even more. Sure, Shi was the apprentice of Ming and the prince, after all. But what about his personality? He was 16, when Tama, Yin's best friend, finally approached him. She offered to hang out with him and this conversation spiked up multiple talks with Ming. How should he behave? Shi was just overthinking, worried, she wouldn't like him. But, after some time, They started to spend time together and Shi finally made a friend. They may didn't have much in common but one thing: Working with humans. While Shi was destinied for medicine and healing with his mind, Tama was destinied to look deeper. The soulreader, the only one, who could see if your soul had issues. Something, Shi couldn't see. Tho ... He didn't know Yin asked Tama to approach him bc she felt bad for him. But, at least Shi got a friend now! And slowly, Tama felt like a sister to him. Being friends with Tama, made him spend more time with Yin,too, tho he never forgot about his duties. Having a friend made him feel better but he would have never dared to vent to Tama. Still, Shi felt out of place. He was a boy in a group of girls, not understanding many things and feeling like he didn't belong to them. Shi knew about Tama being the soulreader and having a connection to his family anyway. yin even offered Tama a home in the palace. Shi was disappointed when she denied. Shi didnt knew better. At the end, he found out that Tama only befriended him because of Yin.

Beginning career

Finally, when Shi was almost 16, he became officially a doctor after years of training after taking his last practical exam. Of course he absolved as the best and was way younger than others. He was always the best at everything. Being good in medicine thanks to his sharp intellect defined his worth since he was little. Thats what he was always praised for. What else was he good for if not helping people and putting all effort into saving lifes?Saving lifes was his oxygen, the stuff he needed to function. When he finally was allowed to work in emergency patients, with no supervision, acting as a doctor on his own, he felt useless. Even tho he was a prince and just finished training, the other staff treated him as a kid and a bystander instead of a coworker. The first weeks, he couldnt'rt even see patients. Instead, Shi had to sort tools and cleaning. When a patient collapsed with cardic arrest, Shi was the first to jump into action thanks to his quick thinking. As he performed CPR, he was shaking and scared. So often he practised. what, if he now failed? The patient didn't survive. At least, he proved that he IS capable and worked closely with Ming and her coworkers. Quickly, he earned respect and medicine became his whole purpose. Treating patients, using his quick and sharp mind to make diagnoses. His passion, everything he needed to do to be happy. Shi was known for his new ideas and ways to try things. Shi understand much more of germs and bacteria than other docotrs in his time because of his intense studying and thinking and theorizing. Making theories is something he does til he present. While growing up, Shi got better and better. finding cures and solutions for illnesses. Mixing herbs together, learning how the body works and creating new ways to practice medicine. all, while his colleques didn't want to change their traditional methods. Shi made everything fit his own logic, how he thought the herbs should work and if it didn't work, he tried something else, that should work. The way he thought what herbs would help against specific illnesses and conditions. Shi even dipped into multiple specific medical fields. He wanted to learn about it all. Every single thing. Helping people, all the process of the human bodies. Even though he was so young, he experimented all the time with different herbs and common methods, refining them, testing ideas and making his own. Shi questioned medical things, no one of his coworkers do.Because of his quick acting and diagnostic skills, Shi quickly became one the best of his age, earning validation and respect. While others often missed a detail when examing patients, Shi often connected seemingly meaningless symptoms, leading to a completely different diagnosis and saving people's life. That'S where the cycle of constantly working to prove his worth and feeling good, began.

Beginning career

Shi's workl-life balance grew unhealthy in the span of only a few years. He basically worked non-stop, hardly taking breaks or days off and taking care of his duties as a prince at the same time. Despite Ming and his family telling him to slow down and take care of himself, he couldn't. Instead, he spent the years working 16 hrs+ everyday, lacking sleep and proper food, making him sick more often than his coworkers. Somehow, he even managed to get a girlfriend and he spent time with her after work before going to sleep. However, the empty feeling and restlessness never went away when he was not working. Leading him to stay up late to analyze medical texts and testing out his theories. He needed to stimulate his mind and that behavior never went away, carrying it into the present. Shi started to neglected Yin, he was so close with and his girlfriend (he eventually got), not meaning any harm. Despite efforts of the people he loved, they couldn't talk sense into him. Sense was for Shi studying to make a better future relating to health for his loved ones. He thought he was doing the right thing. At the same time, he was heavily masking his autistic traits since in his childhood, his support needs were invalidated. He never was seen. At the age of 23, his girlfriend was his fiancee for a few months. Shi tried to be better, working less, but he just couldn't stop. After his fiancee expressed the wish of children, Shi declined, telling her he wouldn't want his children to live with an absent father - even tho, he could change his situation. While she told him, a mother would be enough and Shi expressed his feelings about this, she left him. It made him feel horrible and since he didn't know to handle emotions, he went back to work - as an horrible coping mechanism. Always, when everything got hard, he ran into work. A family member dying? Work. Troubles with Ming or anyone close with him? Work. Didn't matter if that meant treating patients, sorting and prepping herbs or reading text books.