Kinder || 1734

Losing their Way

Kinder was transformed from a lamb skull. While she doesn't think much of her transformation, her past haunts her. The fiery death that led to her skull being left and forgotten in a pile of ash plays over and over in her mind and keeps her from moving on and embracing her new form.

The skull was very, very old. Found covered in grass and weeds up against an old mossy stone wall. The grass on the property was overgrown and vegetation had overtaken the buildings and whatever remained of the fences. Trees now growing all around the once plain landscape. Though nature had taken back this land, it was easy to tell what the remnants of the building was. An old cottage, with a stone base and wooden walls, though the walls were missing parts, the roof had collapsed almost completely and what wood you could see that peaked through the foliage was charred.

Before Kinder was an esk, she was a lamb skull, and before that, she was a lamb who lived on a quiet sheep farm. Back then this land wasn’t much of a forest, it was a big open plain, perfect for farming and raising cattle. Kinder was an excitable little lamb, playful and always frolicing around the meadows.

The people who owned the farm and lived in the quaint little cottage were a kind man and woman, just trying to make enough to get by. The man and woman were kind, and took good care of all of the sheep. Kinder was none the wiser to whatever was going on behind the scenes, but she did notice as the man and woman got more and more tense.

Their faces always scrunched up with stress and strange men kept coming by to visit. But that wasn’t any worry to the sheep or little lamb, Kinder. What Kinder didn’t know was the debt the man and woman were in, and the Baron of the land who was beginning to grow impatient waiting for his money.

One night, not long after the last visit from not one but three men this time, while all the sheep slept soundly in the barn, the smell of fire woke little Kinder. The crackling of fire and the rustling of the other sheep around her. More of the sheep woke and started to grow more panicked. The crackling sound of the fire was coming from close by, the cottage. But as the fire grew the flames began to lick at the sides of the barn until the wood there began to catch. As the heat in the barn grew, the panic in the sheep grew with it. Kinder, too began to panic, looking to her mother for guidance but her mother seemed too panicked to pay much mind.

Outside she could hear the yells of the strange men, and the screams of the man and woman. The screams of the man stopped allthough the womans cries continued as the voices of the strange men disappeared.  The flames were now roaring around the sheep, parts of the roof preparing to collapse inward. The smell of burning wool filled the air and ash choked Kinder’s lungs. Panicked cries from the surrounding sheep as their wool started to catch. Just as Kinder thought she might suffocate on the thick, hot air, the doors to the barn flung open. The woman.

The sheep began rushing out, panicked and running over Kinder, stepping on her back and her legs as they tried to escape the fire. Kinder tried to get up to run out, too but as she did, another hoof was on her back, pushing her into the ground. Another and another, the air left her and the air she tried to take back into her lungs filled with ash. The roof began to fall in pieces of burning wood all around her.

The woman managed to free most of the sheep, but those injured in the panic, including Kinder, were unable to escape in time as the roof collapsed completely over them. The man had been killed by the Baron and his home burned. The woman was left, her and her sheep, the ones that she could save from the fire, all that was left of that little farm.

We know not where the woman and the remaining sheep went off to after that night, but the burning home was abandoned. The fire eventually fizzling out after a few days on its own and leaving only ash and parts of the cottage still in tact. Kinder’s body, at this point, mostly ash and bone fragments due to the heat of the fire. Though her skull remained, almost as if it wasn’t touched at all by any ash or fire, resting beside the remnants of the stone foundation of the cottage.

Many many years passed before her skull was found, bleached by the sun and mostly unscathed. The rest of the bone fragments had been dispersed over the years, some used as nesting by birds or just blown and buried away by nature.The skull lay, partially submerged in the dirt until one day, an esk stumbled upon it.

Curious as to the story behind this small white skull all alone beside the burnt, broken cottage. Kinder was transformed. Though none of her memories remained. She was confused as to her belonging and purpose as an Esk. Her sense of self absent as she stretched her new body and as flames seemed to roar in her eyes. Who was she, and what wa she created for?

Their purpose

Kinder was once a playful lamb, roaming the small enclosure of the quiet farm of which she lived. Back then, Kinder had no sense of fear or worry. She’d be seen frolicing in the fields, chasing other lambs and weaving between the sheep. No problems existed for this little lamb other than the sweltering heat of a hot summer's day and where she could find the next juicy patch of grass to graze on.. After Kinder’s transformation, she felt remnants of days past echoed throughout her body and shuddered in fear at the memory of rubble and ash.

Kinder wasn’t the kindest of Esk, though she also wasn’t an evil or spiteful spirit. She spent many days plagued by the memories of her fiery death. She felt out of place in her new body with her long, flowy tail, her thin lanky legs, and she especially didn’t recognize the intimidatingly large, horned and red-faced esk staring back at her within the troughs of water.  

Kinder had made herself known to transform other esk both within and outside of her boundary. She was not the best at interacting with her kind, and especially not her own creations. Shortly, if not immediately after the transformation, Kinder would vanish and retreat back to her boundary. Perhaps it was the way the transformations looked or how they made her feel when they gazed upon her with expectant eyes. All the heat and power that exuded from their new found forms; the flames which burst and swirled around them, offering them a new life with endless  opportunities, reminded Kinder only of her painful experience of being devoured by the flames searing her soft wool, her tender haunches and her once happy spirit.    

During one of her excursions outside her boundary, Kinder sensed the familiar presence of another esk. The sandy-colored cloak, billowing in the breeze, sand falling from it like glitter in the sun caught her attention quickly. She immediately recognized this esk as one of her creations, Shai. This esk looked so out of place within the greenery of the forest, Kinder thought, as she approached Shai cautiously.

Shai was far from the desert dunes she called home. She had sensed Kinder’s turmoil after her transformation amongst the sandy slopes of the desert and had followed the red-faced esk back to her boundary, though she did not let herself be known until this day. Shai had been quietly watching Kinder on and off from a distance for a few months. She was trying to discover her own purpose in the life that Kinder had bestowed upon her and thought perhaps understanding her creator’s purpose would help lead her to some kind of conclusion.

Shai was curious about her creator. As time passed, Shai watched her creator more and more, and she began feeling concerned for her.  She studied Kinder’s movements, her actions and her avoidant nature amongst other esk. It started to become clear to Shai, that Kinder was also uncertain of her purpose and seemed to be searching for it as well. She sat back and watched as Kinder performed more transformations, noticing her increased discomfort with each one and how traumatic they seemed to be for her.

As Kinder approached, Shai tilted her head. “I sense that you are lost.” Shai said softly, “I would like to help you, Kinder.” Her soothing voice washed over the echoes within Kinder’s mind.

Kinder’s red face contorted with uncertainty and a bitter bite of disdain. “Help me? Why would you help me?”  Her voice was quiet and smooth in sound, but the words had a tinge of distaste.

“I’ve been watching you, Kinder.” Shai replied in a calm and almost motherly voice, “I understand that you have also been struggling to find your purpose here.”

Kinder looked at Shai, “I know my purpose.” She spat, though the uncertainty in her words were evident. “My purpose is to…” She trailed off, before recollecting herself, “Guide creatures into this new life.”

Shai nodded, understandingly. “I have seen your transformations. They were messy, they were painful, even, for some. Your inner turmoil affects your creations and influences the entire process.” And after that, she’d abandon them, thought Kinder remorsefully. “I believe you are stuck in your past life,” Shai began again, “and that you are unable to fully embrace your new existence.”

Kinder shook her head. How could this esk that she’d created know more about this existence than herself? “You don’t know anything.” Kinder seethed at the gentle giant before her. She turned on Shai with a glare and stalked out of the clearing and into the deep greens of the forest. Shai watched on as her creator left her once again.

As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, Kinder wandered through the forests surrounding her boundary. No matter where she went, Kinder could not shake this feeling of emptiness that lingered within her. Shai’s words lay heavy on her mind as she considered what her purpose may truly be in this world. She thought back to her creations and felt a pang of guilt and utter sadness.

Kinder often found herself being drawn towards the energies of dying creatures. She truly wanted to help them find peace and believed that by transforming them, she could alleviate their pain and sufferings. She mourned those in which she was too late to save. All the memories and feelings of being alone that had been etched within her own mortal bones, ached intensely during these encounters. She grieved for them and for herself in these moments.. Though, anytime Kinder could perform one of these transformations on remains, the flames would curl up and lick up her neck, the heat of the fire igniting a panic within her once again as they wrapped themselves around her body, embracing her with icy hot daggers. In these moments, Kinder knew only of the fear and pain of her own death.

One day, as Kinder wandered the countryside of her biome, the frantic and desperate bleating of a sheep on the brink of death washed over her. She approached the animal, blood seeping into its wool and its breath becoming more and more labored. The sheep’s eyes widened, first in fear and then in recognition, and a calm seemed to wash over it.

Kinder knelt beside the dying sheep. Her fiery aura began wrapping around it, this felt different. Kinder felt the flames rise, consuming them both within its wake. It wrapped and licked around Kinder in a warm embrace. It called to her, it devoured her fears and turned them into a sparkling ash. The flames kissed and reassured her. As Kinder’s heartbeat quickened, the Sheep’s slowed. The pain in its eyes faded as their energies combined and the ash began to settle and glow around them. "I am here to guide you to the afterlife," Kinder said softly though shakily, "I am here to ease your passage and bring you peace”
And that she did.

At that moment, kinder saw not the pain of her fiery death, but the new life that it was producing through her powers. Understanding washed over her and with a sigh of relief, her shoulders sagged as she embraced the flames. Before her, a new esk was born, and to that esk she promised to guide and protect on their journey through this new existence. Kinder did have her purpose in guiding creatures to their final resting places, but now she was able to fully embrace it. No longer haunted by her memories or the fear that the transformations caused deep within her.

A few days later, Kinder visited the desert ruins of which she transformed Shai. As she padded quietly through the broken halls, she came across a vast room with giant arched windows, cracked and crumbling, overlooking the desert dunes. There Shai sat, her gaze set upon her vast biome lit by the moonlight.

As Kinder approached, Shai kept her eyes on the moon. “Shai,” Kinder greeted as she sat beside her creation. “I am sorry…” she started after a moment of silence. “For everything. For abandoning you, for the way I spoke to you when you tried to help.”

Shai looked at her creator, compassion in her eyes. “You did help me.” Kinder continued, “Your words stuck with me. And I spent some time thinking. I took the time to finally process and let go of my past life’s trauma and I have embraced my purpose as a guide to my creations.”

Shai leaned into Kinder, “I forgive you.” She said gently. Kinder embraced the touch of Shai. She had never gotten so close to another esk, emotionally or physically. She had all but forgotten the feeling of a soft embrace and a blossoming friendship. Her fire burned deep within but this time she embraced it’s warmth and comfort. As Shai’s cloak wrapped around her, Kinder promised to make amends to those she transformed and she was determined to be better for those to come.