Everyst

He had a stutter as a kid, and while he has mostly grown out of it by now it still makes an appearance on occasion.

Most of the time, he finds it impossible to sit with both feet on the floor.

When he's driving, he grits his jaw and leans further into his seat, more and more the longer a race goes on. If tensions are particularly high (rivalry, challenge, pissed the hell off) he might even bare his teeth.

He increasingly gesticulates with his body the more emotionally charged a conversation gets.

He twists his lip rings when he's restless.

He has a complex relationship with sex, but he always finds himself in the habit falling back on it, whether to silence his thoughts, as a way to punish himself, or even just to feel connected to someone for a short period of time, to fall aslseep and wake up next to a warm body for once. He always finds his way back

Everyst is very sociable, he knows how to read people, how to appeal to them, how to make himself tolerable, if not likeable. He could probably charm the socks off of anyone if he tried hard enough. He likes to be liked, so if someone doesn't like him, it can grate on him a little. Okay, a lot. Its fine, he'll win them over eventually.

He can get a little overwhelmed by his emotions sometimes, especially things that make him feel rejected, jealous, possessive... the more negative things. It can make him act a bit irrational when it happens, defensive, standoffish, snappy. He's always embarrassed when he cools down.

He has a low sense of self worth, and often has self depricating or borderline suicidal thoughts, not that he wants to kill himself, just... he doesn't always factor in the fact that his life is worth more than this thing, that he shouldn't put this thing above his own safety, that he's more than his driving.

He's independant, almost to a negative degree. He doesn't like relying on others. He's been on his own basically his whole life, and he often doesn't know how to let someone help him even if he needs it.

His best memory is driving a car, not a specific number, while his first time had been exhilirating it had been beat out, his sisters old beat up camero, radio on, windows down, while she cheered him on from the back seat, because; it's safer for me back here, I won’t go through the windshield if you hit something it was her last day in town before she'd be headed off to college, before she'd be leaving him behind, and it was sad, don't get him wrong, but it was also amazing, best day ever, she'd woken him up, late afternoon and driven him out to the old landfill, to the raacing track set up there by a group of her friends, and they'd spent the day trading off the wheel until it got too dark to see the road infront of them.

His worst memory is the (first) time he crashed a car, seventeen years old with his heart heavy on his chest and an appetite for danger far too big than was good for him, the track was rain slick from the storm earlier that day, the sky dark, not a star in sight with the thick fog hanging in the air, the tires just wouldn't turn, the car had gone straight over the curb, flipped at least three times before it hit a tree with a trunk thick enough to kill the momentum, he'd made it out fine, mostly, a sprained arm, a few broken ribs and a concussion, but life intact. Emotionally he hadn't been so lucky, not when his parents hadn't even shown up to drive him home from the emergency room and he'd had use his cracked but still working cell to call an uber to take him home. (they hadn't even noticed, is the thing. When he walked in the front door his mother hardly even glanced his way, probably hadn't even answered the phone when the hospital called (it took nearly six days, when one of his older brothers visiting home for the weekend asked about it, for anyone to notice))

Abandonment - Everyst has a deep seated fear of abandonment, born in the time as a kid spent under a roof with parents who tolerated him, at best, and only growing the older he got as his siblings slowly moved out of the house and into the rest of their lives; as they left him behind. When he cares about someone he holds on, tight as he can, he'll try to make himself useful, try to make himself worth it. To this effort, he will avoid communication about the way he's feeling, if he's easy to deal with he'll be easy to stay for, whats the easiest person to deal with? Someone who has no problems!

Insignificance - Everyst is scared he might die acomplishing nothing, being nothing, never being good enough for anyone to stay-. He's good at racing, yeah, and he's proud of it. But being good isn't good enough. Everyone in his circuit is good, he has to be better, otherwise whats the damn point? So he plays fast and dangerous, he takes turns sharper, pushes his car faster, burns and burns and burns in the hopes he will be able to make himself something of worth before the fire consumes him.

Spiders - Everyst is terrified of spiders. He can remember the first time he ever properly encountered one vividly, five years old, picking up his toothbrush to finish off is nightly routine with his sister grinning down at him, her own mouth foaming with minty bubbles. It was a good moment, warm, wholesome, until her eyes widened as big as dinner plates and she shrieked loud enough his ears rang, grabbed him by the arm, and slapped a big hairy spider off his hand. He'd watched it crawl under the sink as she hefted him up into her arms, crying for one of their brothers to kill it kill it! and he'd been crying with her! The trauma of it never really left him. If there's a spider in the room, Everyst is out the door in seconds flat.

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