Profile
"Every scar is a story I can tell,"
Trivia
- Claustrophobic
- Colourblind (Tritanopia)
- Left-handed
- Good singer
- Enjoys birdwatching. His favorite types of birds are tits, magpies and jackdaws.
- Secretly likes being the little spoon
- He loves spoiling his husband even though he has little to no money. When he has a penny to spare, he buys him a box of chocolates or any other sweets.
- He has a tic where he sometimes makes a short bird-like whistle.
- He wanted to become a biology teacher when he was younger (even though he was only interested in birds), but instead of that his father has forced him to become a butcher.
- He wrote a recipe book during his time in mental hospital, but he lost it when he tried to escape.
- He used to go to pioneer camps and loved every second of it. Mainly because it was the only way to get away from his abusive family. He could experience a glimpse of normal life, since kids there didn’t know anything about him, so he wasn’t bullied or pushed away.
- He has gone through a lot of physical pain during his life which is why he has such a high pain tolerance.
- Sawyer usually doesn't care about his scarred body, but he has his ups and downs. Sometimes he feels so uncomfortable and dysmorphic, he tries to hide every single scar with every piece of bandage, plaster or fabric he can find. His self-hatred can escalate even to a point, where he scratches and bites himself or is unable to look at his own reflection. His self-esteem drops to 0 and even someone's slightly disgusted look (which normally doesn't bother him) can make him feel like a garbage.
- He doesn't like to talk about his feelings, mainly because of his father's toxic influence. He doesn't cry due to the same reason. But sometimes, when it feels like he's sitting in the middle of a storm, watching how everything around him is falling apart, not being able to do anything about it, he can't stop the wave of emotions and slowly starts crying.
- Sawyer has never been proud about being a homosexual. When he firstly realized he has crush on Walter, it made him feel miserable. He tried to bottle up those feelings, but to no avail. Denial just made everything much worse. It took him a very long time to get out if the toxic mindset that homosexuality is some sort of mental illness, however, he has never managed to fully accept it.
- He loves his stuffed cat he got from his grandparents when he was little. It travelled with him through Soviet Union and whole Europe, so it's a bit dirty. Even he's an adult now, he still cuddles with it in bed and likes to lead conversations with it. He named it Pshonka, because he always wanted to have a cat named Pshonka.
- He despises doctors. Every single one of them. Which is quite ironic since he's literally dating one. Sawyer got himself into some funny business while being in the mental hospital. Doctors there didn't really have good intentions with their patients and mainly used them for experiments which Sawyer unfortunately took a big part in. Which lead to him losing trust in doctors. He'll go apeshit if he even smells one in 1 km distance.
- He dislikes wearing shoes, mainly because he feels he's more agile and nimble without them. He also dislikes long trousers and practically everything that makes him slower or less agile.
Sawyer's name became well known in the streets, not only among ordinary people, but among other criminals as well. He's respected by his peers, but also feared. He's someone you should avoid and only a fool would try to get into his way.
Nobody really knows where he comes from or how he appeared in the streets so suddenly. Sawyer is very secretive about his identity for obvious reasons and lets out only specific parts of himself he wants other people to know about. Everything else is up for debate, which is why there's so many wild theories and yarns floating around that people made up about him. He's also somewhat of a boogeyman for kids that live in the streets.
Sawyer's a lone wolf. He works mainly alone, but sometimes gets hired by someone to do some dirty work for them. However his main source of income is selling human parts on the black market. He uses his skills from years of butchery training to perfectly prepare and preserve the body parts for his clients; and his sharp teeth and animalish instincts to kill his victims. He hunts them just like apex predators hunt for their prey, which is what made him so infamous in the first place.
Appearance
Sawyer is muscular and unusually tall. His body is covered in scars, whether from fights or all sorts of accidents. He also has a big wound on his stomach and small scars on his wrists from self-harm. He tends to bite his fingers or pick the skin on his forearms. His face is mutilated by the big burn scar on the right side and by two small scars under his eye on the left side.
He’s aware of the fact, that people make rude and awful remarks about his scars, especially those on his face. He usually doesn’t really care about what other people think about him, but he has his ups and downs, and sometimes those remarks can make him feel anxious and disgusted by himself. It can get to the point where he refuses to shower or only showers in the dark, so he doesn’t have to look at himself. He even avoids mirrors or other reflective surfaces.
Sawyer solely wears clothing that he either stole from somewhere or found in the trash. Which drives Walter crazy, hence he buys clothes for him, because he can’t stand the fact that his boyfriend would walk around in dirty and stinky clothes. Sawyer also doesn’t wear shoes. He prefers to stay barefoot, not for any particular reason, he just likes it. However when Walter forces him to wear shoes, he often goes for combat boots or just some old and dirty sneakers.
His voice is very specific. It’s deep and quite raspy, but also singsongy and energetic. He's not a native English speaker, so his accent is quite prominent. While speaking in his native languages, he uses slang expressions and slurs or words specific to his dialect. However, his English is a bit more chaotic. During his life in the UK he learned a lot of slang expressions and idioms by listening to other people, those got later mixed with plenty of other words he learned from his American peers when he started (involuntarily) living in the USA. He also sometimes uses words from his native language while speaking in English.
Among the Concrete Giants
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Train Tracks
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Last Glimpse of Sunshine Rays
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Lovestruck
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Sawyer’s an introverted person. He doesn’t have the need to draw attention on himself and prefers to stay away from the centre of action. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like to chatter with others, however he’s more of a listener rather than a talker. But when it comes to winning an argument, in that case he leans towards using his strenght and intimidating appearance to achieve victory instead of simply arguing with words.
Even though he has gone through a lot, he has kept his optimistic way of thinking. It backfired on him a few times, though.
He’s rude, malicious and boorish just like his father used to be. He’s also sly, mischievous and imaginative, which means that he’s able to come up with interesting and sometimes even strange ways to solve a problem. He’s not afraid to take a risk and thrives on provoking others, because he enjoys their various reactions. Sometimes he can go a bit too far with his teasing.
But like every other human being, Sawyer has his imperfections and weaknesses. For example, he can be easily manipulated if the manipulator knows where to hit. He’s also very anxious, has low self-estem and is prone to guilt trip himself. He also tends to bottle up his sadness, because he doesn’t want to come off as weak.
Sawyer shows only his ruthless, gruff and intimidating side of his personality to the outer world and keeps his loving and kind side to the people he deeply cares about. He’s also a very cuddly person. He didn’t get much of that physical contact in the past, which means that he got very touch-starved and even a small hug can leave him in a state of bliss.
Also, not to forget to mention, he’s an absolute dumbass and is game for anything. Even if it’s dangerous or just incredibly stupid like blowing up trash cans, drifting with a tank on a parking lot or jumping off a high building into snow.
Their relationship is very complicated, mainly due to the fact that Walter is a psychopath and can't love Sawyer the same way Sawyer loves him. It took him a long time to come to the terms with the reality, that Walter will never say "Love you" back or that if he suddenly died, Walter wouldn't really care. However, he wants to be as much understanding and accepting of his disorder, as Walter is understaing and accepting of his own. After all, it's not easy even for Walter to live with one feral husband and also 5 other people that came with him as a care package. But they can manage. Walter may not love Sawyer in a neurotypical way, but he loves him in his own unique way, which, for Sawyer, is enough.
Mental disorders out of the way, the real struggle in this relationship is the neverending fight for dominance. While Sawyer sees it as a playful bickering, Walter reeeally wants to kick Sawyer in the nuts and show him who the real man of the house is. Which is why they're able to beat the shit out of each other in a heated argument. However, only Walter is allowed to make Sawyer into a temporary cripple and vice versa.
They started off as drink buddies but slowly progressed into becoming very close friends over time. They are intimate with each other, which means that they don't mind sleeping in the same bed together, cuddling or playfully flirting. But that's where it ends. Even though Charlie wouldn't mind going much further than that, Sawyer's lips belong to only one man - Walter. However, Sawyer likes to sometimes give Charlie kiss on the cheek or forehead to show his affection and how much he cares about him, because, after all, Charlie was the very first person in Sawyer's life that ever cared about him and his well-being.
Charlie also helps Sawyer a lot with his personal struggles. He will bring him over to watch some movies together during his depressive episodes or he will reassure him and make him feel safe during panic attacks. He, along with Walter, tries to push him more into caring not only about his body, but about his mental health too. Sawyer in return saves his ass from various shenanigans he gets himself into.
They didn't really start on a good note, since Sawyer tried to kill Tara a couple of times before they got to know each other better. They really hated each other's guts. Tara also wasn't happy about the fact that this heartless coldblooded lunatic was hanging out with her best friend - Charlie - who, at that time, had no idea who Sawyer really is. Tara tried to pressure him into reevaluating whether it's worth it to surround himself with people like Sawyer, but Charlie, being the kindhearted and benevolent person he is, believed that maybe Sawyer is just misunderstood and all he needs is a little push in the right way.
It took both of them a really long time to build up a mutual trust. And they probably wouldn't even try if it weren't for Charlie who really wanted them to at least tolerate each other. They eventually became somewhat of "friends". Sawyer came to a conclusion that Tara isn't that insufferable as he thought. Sometimes. And Tara realized that Sawyer can be quite a cool guy to hang out with when it comes to it.
To this day, she's still cautious around him, because she knows well what he's capable of. That's why she keeps a glock or a dagger on her all the time while being in his presence.
Sawyer has a pattern of "not starting on a good note with people" and this one is no exception. Vivienne's first experience with Sawyer was her running for her life after she accidentally bumped into him during her urban exploration of an abandoned hospital. And by "bumped" I mean: "This giant piece of shit came out of fucking nowhere and started chasing me. If it weren't for me being small and able to crawl into tiny spaces I would be biting the fucking dust already." After this traumatic experience, Vivienne had to take a break from urban explorations just so she could recollect herself.
As it is with most of Sawyer's relationships, it was Charlie who introduced him to Vivienne again but on a completely neutral ground. It isn't surprising that Vivienne was far from happy when she discovered that Charlie, her beloved boyfriend, has been spending time with a someone like Sawyer who, only a few months ago, wanted to see her dead.
Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, depends) they never managed to get along, despite Charlie's peacemaking efforts. While Sawyer sees Vivienne mostly as a pesky child, Vivienne, on the other hand, sees Sawyer as a threat and a rival.
