Phoenix Mulder (! Detailed Profile)

Possessive, jealous, obsessed, greedy. Phoenix has run the gamut of poor personality traits throughout her life. After an incident that left her with a touch of post-traumatic stress and, in turn, excaberated a bonafide personality disorder. Phoenix is doing all she can to get herself under control and not become again what she once was so she doesn't lose the one person that means everything to her.

Phe's childhood was characterized as pretty normal. Both parents were present, though her mother, Faith, was distant (her mom had never wanted kids, but here we are, with three of them). Phe discovered, while it was going on, that Faith was cheating on her husband with her former fiancé. This may account as some of the source for her disorders, though the Kitt family is rife with hereditary bullshit - her half-brother Jason suffers from alcoholism and his own cocktail of mental issues. Her father was always a solid anchor for her, however, and is still the favored parent.

While histrionic personality disorder was present (though undiagnosed until later in life), it was a mild and mostly exhibited in a flirty attitude and exaggerated expression of emotion (overdramatic about things - both intentionally for the attention and unintentionally). She fit in among her friends as the 'badass' and reveled in the role. Completely unafraid of physical confrontation and prone to instigation.

After the assault in high school, she began developing borderline personality disorder in response to the trauma, including more possessive and impulsive behaviors (she becomes way 'clingier' to kyle and acts out by doing increasingly dangerous things). Disassociation and emptiness crop up, but she doesn't become actively/consciously suicidal. She doesn't want to die, but she wants to rid her body of what happened - violence and risky acts mean new wounds that she caused, not her aggressor. It's an outward form of self harm, essentially.

After high school, she takes the government job she's offered and focuses on that and things are....okay for awhile. But the crazy/possessive behaviors don't wane and, eventually, Kyle breaks it off with her by transferring out to California.

After Kyle leaves, she has a bit of a breakdown and is hospitalized for a couple months (though this is not the first time, but it is the longest). Therapy is attempted, stopped, attempted again. During this time, she starts dating Keith, which goes on for some time, but eventually his educational background in psychology becomes more of picking her apart (helpful or hurtful, phe isn't a fan of her mental issues and insecurities being pointed out) and she's still, ultimately, hung up on Kyle, and they part ways relatively amicably. Phe is both relieved to be out of the relationship because she knows it's not going to last and also upset because she feels like she's failed her partner (she is strictly monogamous and a breakup, no matter how well done, makes her feel like she's fucked up and not done right by the other person). Phe does, however, credit Keith for encouraging her to get help and fucking commit to it post-relationship.

When Kyle starts coming back around and they get back together, she starts to get much more stable and committed to recovery. This means no skipping appointments because she 'feels fine' or thinks she's managing peachy on her own. She goes to all her appointments, she takes her meds, she does her best to communicate problems and stuff to the people she cares about. It's not perfect, but it's leaps and bounds from where she was in her late teens/early twenties.

Relationships

Kyle - Boyfriend...? Currently, at least. And in the past. And off an on. Phe and Kyle have been in some kind of relationship their whole lives. They've known each other from birth, as their moms were friends, and they've been an item since around middle school. Phe is deeply, deeply in love with Kyle and it has, in the past, bordered on obsessive. When they were in high school, they talked about getting married and having kids, but now that they're older it's definitely not a high priority (except for phe, for some reason, wanting to get married really bad and she's not quite sure why, but every time one of her friends gets engaged, she's grumpy about it for about a week). Aside from being partners, they're also best friends and there probably aren't many other people who know them like they know each other.

Gwen - BFFs, for sure. Gwen and Phe have been buddies since elementary school and Phe was always a supportive source in Gwen's life when the latter was dealing with a shitty mother. Something they would often vent to each other about. Gwen also started dating Kyle's best friend (at the time), Spazz, so the four of them were together quite often. Gwen and Spazz currently rent out the upper half of Phe's brownstone.

Poe - Close friends. Poe and Phe met post-high school [how????] and have been surprisingly good friends since. Poe doesn't suffer a lot of bullshit, but she's also kind and caring and willing to tell you you've fucked up, but also make you some tea and help you figure out how to put things back together. Phe found that she's also good at not gossiping her business among her other friends and could confide in Poe a lot of things that her main social group didn't learn about until later. Poe also found the supernatual aspects of Phe's social group to be intriguing.

Shira - Close friends. Shira came to Phe's high school as an exchange/study abroad kind of thing and hit it off with some people she knew. Shira's the most normal out of the group, but ended up dating one of Kyle's friends, Devon, and Devon's boyfriend, Eric. While life has put them on different paths, Phe is always happy to hear about Devon and Shira's life.

Spazz - It's complicated. Spazz and Phe used to get on pretty well, but Spazz had the hots for her and she was zero percent interested because she was with Kyle (and wasn't interested otherwise, on top of that). They had some....confrontations over the years due to this, but now are on, at least, polite terms.

Elle - Ugh. Kyle's mother has never liked Phe for her son, no matter how hard Phe has tried to get Elle's approval (at least, until phe finally said 'fuck it and fuck you'). They are often at odds with each other and Elle seems to simply expect the worst from Phe due to her past behavior. Phe tries to be....polite, but usually just comes off as dry and sarcastic when she has to interact with her.

Miscellaney

Phe ran track in high school, while she fell out of it during the Bad Time, she forces herself to run in the mornings if she has time.

Phe had either a pregnancy scare or a miscarriage during high school, I don't remember which.

Phe also has PTSD, which I should probably work in to her history. A certain expensive brand of perfume is a trigger for her. She's also mildly afraid of the dark and of mirrors.

Phe's vampirism is kinda wibbly-wobbly. She's a thin blood (though i thought spazz turned her - but she's STILL be thin blooded) and is basically a daywalker. She feeds exclusively off of Kyle and is probably one of the few that can tolerate werewolf blood (because i do what i want and she probably built up a tolerance/immunity to it over the years). She doesn't have to feed as often as a typical vampire, but she does enjoy the act of feeding, so it's rare that she goes too long without and risks frenzy.

Phe also possesses a heightened healing ability and recovers from physical injuries much faster than a mortal would.

Phoenix (or phe) was one of the first handful of characters I've created and, I think, like Poe, the one who's developed and grown the most over the years. After a shaky childhood, drama-filled high school years, getting diagnosed with a personality disorder (put all the previous shit into perspective) in her twenties and actually going to a therapist, she's evened out quite a bit. She's in an on-again, off-again relationship with her childhood sweetheart, Kyle (who belongs to my husband). They both care deeply for each other, but past things make Kyle keep a bit of distance. Phe's best friend is Gwen, and she's buddies with Shira and Poe.

(phe's got so much of that cringy 'i was fourteen so rape plots mean a strong female character rite????' that i've worked to evolve and not erase from her development completely. she's still pretty rough and tumble and a little unhinged sometimes, but she's learned to recognize her bad behavior and also recognize when she needs to step back from potentially bad decisions. she's also a thin blood vampire. i think. or she's full blood now?? i don't remember. there's some vampirism going on there.)

Playlist

Rihanna - S.O.S. (Rescue Me)
I'm obsessive when just one thought of you comes up / And I'm aggressive just one thought of close enough / You got me stressing, incessantly pressing the issue / 'Cause every moment gone you know I miss you / I'm the question and you're of course the answer / Just hold me close boy 'cause I'm your tiny dancer / You make me shaken up, never mistaken / But I can't control myself, got me calling out for help

Lady Gaga - Again Again
You've gotta a lot of, lot of nerve / Coming here when I'm still with him / And I can't have you, it isn't fair / Born march of '86, my birthday's coming / And if I had one wish / Yeah, you'd be it / When you're 'round / I lose myself inside your mouth / You've got brown eyes / Like no one else / Baby make it to me

Suzanne Vega - Blood Makes Noise
I'd like to help you doctor / Yes I really really would / But the din in my head / It's too much and it's no good / I'm standing in a windy tunnel / Shouting through the roar / And I'd like to give the information / You're asking for / But blood makes noise / It's a ringing in my ear / Blood makes noise / And I can't really hear you / In the thickening of fear

Maroon 5 - The Sun
The rhythm of her conversation / The perfection of her creation / The sex she slipped into my coffee / The way she felt when she first saw me / Hate to love and love to hate her / Like a broken record player / Back and forth and here and gone / And on and on and on and on

The Dear Hunter - We've Got A Score To Settle
Someone's got blood on their hands / With a stone cold glare and a crooked grin / You know exactly what we're saying when we say / Someone's got blood on their hands / "Forget about truth and consequence / We've got a way to deal with this." / And if you're good maybe they'll be light on you / Long as you dance just like they want you to / Just shelter that look in your eyes / And think about staying alive

Two Feet - Love is a Bitch
Your mama says I'm a fool / And yeah, maybe that's true 'cause I can't stop thinkin' 'bout you / I'm tryin' / I'm tryin' not to forget my words / 'Cause when I'm around you, I tend to keep changin' my mind / I promise / I promise myself not to slip back into old habit