Kenji

Name is actually Malachi, but he hates it and demands people call him Kenji instead. ...Most people don't. His lip/ear jewelry are actually just glued on, as he wasn't allowed to get actual piercings.

He met Gaye by running directly into her when he was in a bad mood-- apparently, him calling her a "blundering pissant stygobite" in response landed him directly on her friends list.

Basically blind without his glasses and allergic to probably half the substances in the universe.