Pan

NAME: Pan

PRONOUNS: they/them

SPECIES: Owl dragon

POWERS: Shadow manipulation

As a child, Pan was very removed from other dragons, any friends they had losing interest in them or leaving. Growing up in TDOB as it was beginning to fall meant they grew up in a harsher time with less of a sense of community. 

Pan is a complicated little dragon. From a young age, they've been pushed to the side of their flock and their siblings, largely ignored by their mother, Namira, and by the other dragonets. Part of this is due to their powers (nothing says friendly like a child cloaked in shadows) and the status of their parents, both with Namira as Overlord and Arwen, their father, as her second-in-command. Even with those factors though, Pan just doesn't fit in with other dragons. They don’t quite know how to act or be around other dragons, and a lot of social cues fly over their head regularly. This persistent feeling of being "other" shadows their whole life, and at a certain point they just accepted it as cruel fact, and stopped trying to change it. Pan’s used to being on their own, and don’t really trust anyone, including their siblings. Since their childhood was spent so alone, they don’t think they’re capable of having meaningful relationships, and just assume that no one will care about them. This feeling isn’t even negative at this point, it’s just a reality they’ve accepted to themselves. They have a dry sense of humor, and are very cynical at their core, even as they try to present themselves more kindly to avoid accidentally hurting other dragons. They have a lot of repressed anxiety, which just manifests in their feeling of isolation and that there’s no one they can trust. Pan is good at picking up on subtext, and can read body language, they just don’t know how to apply it properly to themselves. They’re smart, but don’t think they have much to say and tend to keep quiet as a result. They have an angry side that seeps into how they view the world based mostly on underlying resentment. Weren’t they worth caring about? Why didn’t anyone do anything or try to care for them? Outwardly, they are nervous, as once again, a lot of their negative emotions they keep locked down. They stick to their views, and are very stubborn with that kind of thing. The only person who can convince them to change is themselves, they don’t cave to outward forces, though they can sometimes force them to think about change. Pan doesn’t give up, they’ll keep throwing themselves at something until it sticks if they’re really committed. 

Pan has some weird habits, mostly to do with how they spend their time. Pan has the tendency to take dust baths, which involve them rolling around flapping their wings like a very awkward bird. Pan also likes the sound of their own voice, and does sing to themselves or their shadows a lot. When they were younger, they would make a lot of dolls for themselves, and would play with them with their shadow. They know how to carve things from wood and sew things pretty decently. Pan also has the tendency to click their beak or make soft chirping sounds to indicate moods, a habit picked up partially from being alone and thus not speaking often, and also from their father. Pan is huge on physical contact from dragons they trust, and due to their small size, will cuddle up to them. Admittedly, they have almost no dragons they trust, so that pool of people who can cuddle them is tiny. They act very cat-like, sleeping on warm surfaces and making an assortment of soft nonsense sounds. 

There’s a very dorky side to Pan that’s only recently really emerged. They’re pretty awkward and have more emotional outbursts before slipping back into “professional mode” of sorts. They’re awful at speaking for extended periods of time about anything emotional or sappy, and prefer to let their actions speak louder than words (mostly because their ability to use words is abysmal). 

Pan’s relationship with their family, or lack thereof, is another part of them worth addressing. Pan is closer to dragons outside of their family. Some personality traits from their biological family are strong in their personality though. Pan holds a grudge for a long time, similar to Namira, and while they do move on physically, they subconsciously nurse their wounds. Pan might consider themselves someone who moves on fast, and while they are practical and are one for not dwelling on their losses, they still hold on to those bruises quietly and nurse negative feelings. Part of this is also why they aren’t close to Ophidian, since Ophidian tried very hard to mimic their mother and hasn’t ever shown an interest in interacting with Pan. Pan considers Noctis like an aunt, and take her leaving as a personal betrayal. Pan also considers the dragons they spent time with while training in their group as a sort of family of their own too. Pan is very much an Exterminator, they like combat a lot, the ritual of it and the adrenaline rush, it’s where they feel the most in control, and it’s an outlet for their problems. Pan is pretty scrappy, they fight hard and violently, using their shadows to move constantly and stab where it hurts. All their anger comes out, and they’ve been known to drag out fights. 

Funnily, Pan is the most similar to Namira in terms of personality and outlook on the world. They have a natural tendency towards violence and anger, and the potential to be very cold and cruel. Pan just represses it and crushes it down, and instead stays sarcastic and snippy, though sometimes this nastiness comes out, especially when they’re angry. They have the potential to be cruel and selfish, but are too wrapped up in their own worry to really act on it or do anything with it. One of these days P

Pan still isn’t a fundamentally evil dragon. They’re shaped by unhappy events in their life, but that’s not all to them. Just like with them holding on to grudges, they hold on to dragons who’ve been kind to them and returns their compassion dutifully. They’re emotionally stunted, but are still very capable of love and compassion, and once a dragon’s gotten past some of their walls they’re a very earnest dragon. Pan is a good friend if you can make friends with them, and while they’re still sarcastic and cynical, they have a soft spot for their friends, and will gladly listen to their friend’s problems and do what they can. They do not and will not abandon someone who they trust, even if it hurts them in the process. 

Pan is willing to act the leader, and compile information silently while presenting as calm and relaxed. They try to listen to the other dragons in the flock, and care a lot about other people’s opinions and feelings. Their attitude when trying to be properly authoritative is more reserved and less snippy than they usually are. Pan strives to emulate the positive authority figures in their life (mostly Noctis), and so take inspiration from that, so to speak. 

Pan has mellowed out as a character, and has really calmed down. They still have a lot of underlying issues, notably repressed anxiety and a massive persecution complex, but are working on changing how they think about themselves and their way of looking at the world. Pan really does desperately want to just make friends, to make meaningful relationships that aren’t going to end badly. They’re tired of being alone and lonely and miserable, but don’t really know how to integrate themselves back into the world. They’re calm, smart, sarcastic, and while they have the tendency to say the wrong things or misstep in conversation or actions, they’re legitimately trying their best.