About

while overall, ilona has a rather cheerful and outgoing demeanor.. she's actually kind of distant, and finds it hard to grow closer to anyone else outside of her small circle of friends. she feels rather low about herself, and often struggles with her self-worth and her identity/existence as a whole. while she hides this part of her personality from her livestreams, she'll often take 'mental breaks' from livestreaming due to the fact that she looses energy and motivation quicker then usual. she'll also try to shrug off her own mental state whenever notices it, and tries to play it off as her 'being tired as usual.' she's very greatful that her brother, jae, and her partner yasu and the small circle of friends all have her back and supports her behind the scenes, though there's always that lingering feeling of guilt, and burden in the late nights. and it bothers ilona more then often.

ilona struggles with her severe depression, as well with anxiety, adhd and ocd throughout a majority of her life, because of this, she's a massive mental health advocate and always supported people who are struggling with their own mental health, either through finacial means or even making daily reminders and such whenever she can. she's struggling with her own issues and illnesses, but at the least she wants to keep up a smile and make the people around her happy the best she can, even if it's small.

[ backstory ]

unfortunately, she doesn't remember a whole lot about her childhood. specifically anything before the end of elementary/the start of middle school. she has vague memories of her dad as he was mostly absent from their lives, and spent most of her life helping her mother whenever jae can't or hanging out with yasu, which they were childhood bestfriends. while she wishes that she can remember what happened, her mother and jae assured her that it's probably for the best. (wip)

[ trivia ]

- she daydreams and fantasies a lot, going into her own 'comfort/happy world' whenever she's in a depressive episode. she ends up dissociating most days, or even sleeping a whole lot

- because of her history, she has grown attached to the little things in her life and constantly tells her friends, yasu and jae how much she loves them and how much she cares and supports them. she worries that she may become overbearing with these things, but she tries to shrug that thought off. aside from that, she has a lot of polaroids of her friends, yasu and jae from birthday parties, to just hang outs. each polaroid has some sort of nostalgic joy radiating off of it..

- she yawns, a lot, even from sleeping 'too much' or 'too little'

- she gets hurt easily, she's kind of clumsy so she always has a box of bandaids in her bag

Relationships

yasu choi [ romantic partner ]

yasu and ilona has been friends throughout almost their entire lives, with lots of ups and downs they managed to conqure it all. they've been at eachother's side for so long, and it was when during the senior year of high school, ilona confessed and asked yasu out. and they've been dating ever since.

jae lee [ older brother ]

siblings that kind of share the same braincell time to time. but most of the time, jae looks after ilona's impulsive ass. they do actually enjoy eachother's company and will watch out for eachother no matter what, while she's a little confused to why jae's a little overprotective of ilona sometimes.. she appreciates the thought nonetheless.

marie "star" hollies [ close friend ]

met during the sophmore year of highschool, in the same class, they got along pretty quick and was actually the one that introduced yasu and ilona to the friend group they have today. ilona loves hearing all the witchy stuff and magic stuff from star, and star even taught her how to make a small jewerly!