Lazy Eddie

Turquoisephoenix

Info


Created
4 years, 11 months ago
Favorites
5

Basic Info


Name

Lazy Eddie

Pronouns

He/Him

Species

Hog-Nosed Skunk

Occupation

Used Mad Science Experiment Salesman

Profile


Lazy Eddie lives in the massive junk sea that surrounds half of Progress City (mad science makes a lot of waste) but he manages to eke out a living by selling whatever he finds in the massive trash heaps to the other mad researchers that work there. Eddie is not above doing things like fishing cybernetic eyes out of the sockets of dead monsters and then turning a neat profit or scraping brain matter off a failed mind control helmet and selling it "like new" to unsuspecting chumps. Problem is, doing that also gained him a reputation so most residents of the city who hunt in the junk sea have enough common sense to not buy anything he's selling.  

Unfortunately, Eddie also sells information, and is surprisingly informative about all the latest rumors and trends going about the befouled now somewhat demon-infested city, so people usually end up talking to him if they need something found out.  No one really knows how Lazy Eddie came to be - whether he's some unlucky human who ran afoul of a vengeful scientist with a very bad sense of humor or a failed attempt at making a decent evil minion out of a mere hog-nose skunk - but the biggest clue is the massive brain surgery-related scar on his head that he's always covering up with toupees he finds in his garbage runs. The most Eddie will admit is brain surgery, but anything beyond that is usually met with some colorful vocabulary to mind your own business.  

And before anyone asks, Lazy Eddie cannot do the skunk spray thing. He was descented prior to his daring escape from whatever lab held him captive. He just naturally stinks because deodorant is not something you find in the junk sea. But he can bluff pretty well about it. He handles a lot of bribes that way.