Liew Sui-Yen

• Cs Thread here (kalon #200)

✔/ Loyal - Ambitious - Wise - Remorseful - Determined

X/ Stubborn - Self-destructive - Proud - Disquieted - Conflicted

Liew is a stubborn individual. In his youth (before his condition) he was a confident man. He had it all- respectable position, a loving family, a good reputation. He was cocky and full of himself, but most people saw it as justly. He earned the right to be proud and he brandished his position as general with pride. He'd fight to the end for his people no matter the cost. When wartime hit, it would slowly grind down his ego as he became exhausted with the losses, the defeats, the stress that his decisions meant life and death every day. He didn't lose confidence in his own skills until his second head appeared. At that point,everything was taken from him and his own doubts materialized in  his second voice, scolding and full of hatred for himself. It was easier for his heads to lash out at each other than accept themselves as their failure and shortcoming. 

In his youth he was a heroic sort of kid. That  kid who wanted to make something of himself. To be a hero! To be a great  warrior! And so he became one. He stayed true to the path he so sought  after, helped little old ladies across the street and did good deeds to  make a name for himself. He rose through the ranks with loyalty, ambition, and a slight headstrong nature that made him an effective leader and strategist. Before his fall, he changed the course of many battles for his people and his reign as an army kingpin was powerful.He was respected, making a difference, and life was good.

Once condemned to his life of duplicity, he was deemed a monster and  those people he devoted his life to saving turned on him ,exiling him  permanently from his homeland. In the process, damning their own cause.  His former home was destroyed, taken by the enemy, and everyone he ever  knew was killed or taken prisoner. And he, still a failure fleeing his  past. His banishment just propogated his hatred of himself, and he  wallowed in self pity and disdain,wandering the land in angry solitude.  Company only to himself- and too bitter to even accept what he'd become  and the people he'd let down. Some, less strong individuals, may have  succumbed to madness under such circumstances, but not Liew. He was  strong, he was a soldier,a general. He fought. He always fought. He  stayed strong, and in time, he recovered. He tried to find a new home.  Some place he would be accepted. He would never forgive himself, but it  was a desperate hope of his to find someone in the wide world who would  forgive him his sins and help him to build a new life.

But alas, this was not to be. Every place he travelled, he was  considered a monster. The few friends he could begin to have- he would  turn aside. One of the two heads, would inevitably distrust them, be  overcome with his doubts. Even if one of his minds was strong enough to  put his faith in another person, the other, was less so. He would tear  himself down, convince himself that they were not a real friend,  convince himself they were better leaving.Because he could not accept  himself, how could anyone else accept who he'd become?

 His life finally changed when he had a realization. He had to go  back. He had to confront the black magician that had manipulated him and  allowed the destruction of his people. Until he got his vengeance, he  could never rest for the guilt and regret would eat him alive. This at  least, was something both of his heads could agree on. 

The right head is the slightly more mellowed one of the two. It is also the 'original'. The left is more angry and demanding. Both heads are the same person. Despite this they do not agree on most things, they just argue about it.

For many years Liew wandered aimlessly, trying to find what he wanted to  be. He had achieved his goal of being a general, and been manipulated  out of this position by Yaochuan. He found a new goal in trying to find a  home for himself where he felt he belonged. This changed after he had  the realization that until he got some sort of revenge for his people,  he would never rest.

"What haven't I lost?"

Five days, that was all it took. Five days since his betrayal. He  stared out over the ruins of the village that he had once called his  home. Dishonorably discharged from his position as general and exiled in  disgust, he'd argued with himself before resolving that he must go give  his family a final farewell. But it was pointless, they were gone. He  felt his claws dig into the dirt below him as he stared with dismay at  the ruined homes, the sickly smell of despair in the air. "Go" whispered  his other head "We have to know" It urged. "No.. I can't. I can't walk"  he protested to it. He knew it was himself, and he had a point, a  similar argument he was having in his own mind, but he didn't want to  know. He didn't want to see what had become of his family, were they  dead or prisoners? He didn't want to know.

"Don't you suffer as I do?"

He wanted to feel pain, sorrow, but all he could feel was numb as  he twisted his body to leave the place he grew up. He wanted nothing to  do with it, not anymore. He'd burned that bridge himself. He'd stood at  the forefront of the battlefield, defending the country as its military  general, and he had failed them. He deserved no solace. He deserved no  mercy and this was his punishment, the regret, the mental shock that  penetrated all of his thoughts. As he walked he felt the world blur into  a daze around him, and soon he felt himself toppling into the dirt. It  was rather easy- given he was rather topheavy. Laying his chins against  the cool earth he wept, unable to even fathom the tears. His other  head,however,remained stoic. He glanced to it "Do you not feel pain?" he  growled to it bitterly. He hated it. Hated him. It let out a soft  scoff, and when it spoke its voice cracked. "Crying will solve nothing."  it determined. In another world maybe he'd not be laying there crying  but watching with dignified sorrow as his other self was. But this was  not that world.

"What have they taken from me?"

"Not only my family, they have taken all from me. My hope, my  spirit, my home. The thing I stand for, the thing I fall for. That great  meaning in my life that gives me reason to go on, the goal I spent my  whole life striving for. They have taken all from me. And all I got in  return was myself to judge me."

 A powerful warrior of his people, Sui-Yen was a highly respected and  revered general who's goals lie in defending those he cared for and so  desperately sought to shield from harm. Fighting the encroaching armies  of the nearby Guowei province, no amount of honor nor desire to protect  his home could stop their offense from taking control, destroying their  villages and shattering their defense. In a last desperate plea to  rescue his homeland, he turned to the dark magics of Taoism, Gong Tau,  and a practitioner of its dark arts, a gentleman by the name of  Yaochuan. With the aid of one such spell, he sought to duplicate himself ,  and further duplicate his armies to offer more men and fill in the gaps  of soldiers they so desperately needed. However the magics were  dangerous, and a fatal warp in direction left the process half complete.  Sui-Yen found himself...battling a second mind of his own. 

A leader who knows when he must stand and fight, and who knows how to  urge his people into action, but struggles with extreme self loathing.

The two heads are not companions. Because Sui-Yen  is, himself, stubborn and very independent, he does not agree with  himself. They do not think similarly, do not process things together,  and may form entirely different opinions, in some cases, just to argue. They avoid speaking to each other if possible, perhaps because having to  listen to the other is a terrible reminder of their situation. He  disgusts himself,is often appalled by his own words, his own orders in battle.They share memories, share a name, and share a body. They are the  same person. And yet, they can't understand one another. His mind is  too muddled with hatred for his situation to try and come to a  compromise and make an effort to work at one with his own ambition. The  only difference between the two are the strange marks on their tongues. Left as a result of the magic, and only that marking the original from his clone.

Understanding himself is a battle no war that Sui-Yen had fought  before could have prepared him for. Truly an enemy he'd be battling until  the end