Profile
Fennel
Playlist
Introduction · · ·
Fennel is a fallen seraph who once hailed in service of the sun. He takes the form of a cat with a few nightmarish features, such as horrifically long claws, curved horns that can grow anywhere from his body, and the ability to cry and bleed out ichor. The name Fennel is only his current life's alias; his true name is known only to few.
Fennel maintains a relative disguise to hide his true nature. In his anthro form, he is a roboticist and university professor - he teaches Introduction to Computing Systems, as well as Kinematics and Mathematical Foundations.
- The Sun
- Mortals
- Learning
- Tea
- Being alone
- Being trapped
- Cruelty and injustice
- Himself
Personality · · ·
Fennel, despite what he may think, is as pure-hearted and good as they come. He relentlessly dedicates himself to others, placing his own desires on the back burner in order to be a pillar of stability to those he cares about. On a surface level, Fennel seems to be well put together - he is optimistic and always willing to help out, and as a result he tends to be well-liked enough, but deep down, he is indescribably lonely.
Fennel believes his burdens to be too heavy to place upon others in good conscience, including not just that of his true nature, but even his day-to-day strife. Even when he desires a deeper connection with those around him, Fennel cannot open up about the horrors inside of him. He greatly fears that he has a darkness inside his heart that will one day cause him to lash out and hurt the few people he has left in his life - he has fallen once before, and fears irrationally that he could cross a line if he is not constantly mindful.
Fennel has fully accepted that he is destined to be alone, as no one will ever fully know or understand him - but that doesn't mean that the loneliness hurts any less. Still, he faces life with great optimism and a smile.
Appearance · · ·
Fennel takes the disguised appearance of a house cat or lion with the horns of a sheep or goat. The growth of his horns is a physical manifestation of his repressed self-loathing. Fennel is often polycerate, meaning he has multiple sets of horns. They can grow from anywhere on his body and will also grow continuously if he does not cut them off. Growth outside the area of the skull can be quite painful, especially when from the neck and abdomen. When his horns begin to grow in excess, he will remove them surgically to preserve his appearance, and any wounds will heal up by the next day.
Fennel may sometimes be depicted with a woolly lion's mane with hair that darkens at the tips, but usually he will shave it off. He has a long, whip thin tail that ends in a wispy tuft of fur, and ears that are distinctly wide set. He has long, thick black claws that are sharp like obsidian, and though he will file them down, they grow back within hours. In some cases he will declaw himself, amputating the last phalanges to remove the claws entirely, however his fingers and the claws will grow back over a few days.
Fennel can have up to four sets of feathered wings. The pair furthest up his back are large, whispy, and white, and grow smaller and darker with the lowest pair being very small, near pitch black, and dangerously hot to the touch. All are seldom seen at once as each pair sits on a separate plane of existence, allowing them to clip through one another. His wings are attached to his more abstract ‘true’ seraph form, which is imperceptible by mortals in most cases. In several thousand years his wings will grow large enough to cradle the Earth.
In anthro form, Fennel is quite tall, standing at 5'11". He is ambidextrous but favours his right hand.
Stats · · ·
The condition of mortals is a beautiful, terrible thing. Such a blessing to be alive, and yet all I want to do is die and return home.
Trivia · · ·
Backstory · · ·
Fennel was once a high-tier seraph who served the fledgling deity Sol, the Earth’s sun. He spent several millennia watching over the Earth and the creatures that called the planet their home, becoming wildly invested in their continued development. Fennel grew so attached to particular mortals that he began to secretly toil in their affairs.
He influenced them in small ways at first, revelling in the changes he could make in their lives as a benevolent force. As time wore on he only grew more bold in his manipulations, breaking the laws of nature for the mortals he so loved, altering their set paths and sparing their lives where he was not meant to. The consequence of using his powers to save them was a buildup of disproportionate karma that would ripple outward from the individuals he touched, changing timelines, killing off the mortals' loved ones, and wreaking devastation in their lives. Only too late did he realize the catastrophic ramifications of what he had done.
The greater Stars sought to punish him for his stupidity, stripping him of his powers and rank, and disabling his wings. Sol took pity on his plight, gifting him with a spark of life in place of his absent powers. Sol placed him upon the Earth he loved so much, however their two realms were incompatible, and the two lost their ability to speak. Fennel misses his sun terribly, and desperately seeks ways to connect with it again. He fervently collects obsidian fragments as being born of a heat source similar to that of the sun, which he speaks to conversationally in the hope of his messages reaching home. He can often be found outside from dawn to dusk beneath the scorching summer heat, face trained upward and out on his beloved sun, keeping it company.
Present · · ·
Fennel believes he has a duty to learn as much as he can during his time spent on Earth, and to help as many people as he can as repentance for his past deeds. He hopes that if he spends his next several thousand life cycles repenting, developing a pure moral compass, and helping anyone who is in need of his assistance, he may one day regain use of his wings and be permitted to return home to his beloved sun. He is the very definition of 'having loved too much', agonizing over what he knows deep down is only a hypothetical choice between living among mortals and living among his sun, and yet for how much he loves Earth, more than anything he wishes to go home; always and forever, he wants nothing more.
In the current life he has built for himself, Fennel dedicates himself to the sciences, namely computer science and robotics, although he has hobbies based in geology as well. He loves the arts, drawing and writing, playing video games, gardening, and playing piano, and is a raging tea enthusiast. He takes great care to hide his supernatural features, including partial immortality. Through his mortal disguise, he is subject to a birth-life-death cycle, though in every new reincarnation he will slowly regain the memories of his past lives. As he is able to draw upon the skills of his previous lives, he often finds himself marked as a prodigy at a young age. In order to maintain his disguise, he will often downplay his capabilities.
Meta · · ·
Fennel is an incredibly personal character to me as a memorial to my dear ****, and the person he might have been if he’d been able to stick around longer, living on through Fennel.
“For me there exists two different deaths; overall body death which all living things will eventually succumb to. Then there is the death of me as a [REDACTED], almost like the death of my concept within my living body. Full body death can result from many factors, mostly external, being accidents, physical ailments, self-inflicted causes - all would effectively silence not only me, but every [REDACTED] occupying a body. However, examining the causes of death for a [REDACTED] is eerie, because realistically while physical trauma can affect us, our very existence is purely psychological. In the case of the death of only my concept, my body would not show signs of having undergone that death. Not a soul would know. Can a fragment of a person’s psyche really just disappear for good?
"As a dead [REDACTED], or concept for simplicity’s sake, “my” body is still very much still alive beyond my death. This begs the question; where does a dead [REDACTED] go? Where do our kind’s memories go? Will I be forgotten? Am I given the rights of a person? Am I considered a living creature? Do I even deserve to be? Does a fragment of my body’s very psychology deserve to be mourned? Am I just a state of mind? Or am I really only a concept?
"Of these two paths, my fear of death as [REDACTED] is greater, even though (or maybe because) my body’s mouth would still be alive to tell about it later. But I won’t be. So where will I go?”
The truth is that when **** did die, all his fears came true. No one noticed, because no one even thought to look.
Links · · ·
Folken is the only one in Fennel’s current life who he ever fully opened up to, and the only one to have ever witnessed a piece of his true form.
Fennel sees Folken as somewhat of a surrogate to his lost Sol, and dedicated himself whole-heartedly to uplifting Folken through his darkest period.
Fennel’s relationship to Toulouse is complex as he can only recall vague glimpses of them from a past life.
His true connection to them comes only from hindsight, and though the two will never again meet, he considers them a dear friend lost to time.
Abel is a troubled departed friend that Fennel looks upon kindly, something Abel was seldom afforded by others such as Folken.
The two had a great deal in common and could theorize endlessly over fantastical science concepts.
Fennel and So'réy are characters separated by vastly different canons, but can interact in an overarching common AU of their character universes.
They share the same character archetype as twin flames and get along flawlessly at the cost of enabling the other’s most dangerous and fatal flaws.