✖️ Etero | The Abyss

"In absentia lucis, tenebrae vincunt"

Personification of my inner apathy

TRIVIA
- he's a good swimmer/runner due to his long legs & agile tail
- has a good hearing due to his big ears, but is also very sensitive to sounds (has misophonia)
- has slight myopia (he sometimes wears glasses, but usually uses contact lenses or just trusts his other senses; sees worst at night and at a long distance)
- round pupils
- he's a hybrid animal (lupulella adusta x notamacropus parryi), but anatomically is more similar to canine
- is part of urbex video channel (it's called furbex_pov and is run by  Noya, Etero, Axel, Leeyo & also Koda in the past, now they record  stuff less often)

TATTOOS
- has bloody moon tattoo which is associated in many cultures with the day of great opportunities, symbolizes power, change, revelation - thanks to Noya, Etero started thinking that every day should be treated as if it were special in some way; they made their first tattoos at the same time which was symbol of their strong bond
- his smoky arm tattoo was designed & made by Noya (wip)

BACKSTORY
Etero lost his mother in a car accident as a child. He stayed with his dad, most of his family lived far away, and he didn't have much contact with them. He doesn't remember much about his mother (he was around 3 y old), but his dad became depressed after that. He still tried to work and provide good conditions for his son, but it was very difficult and as a result he was often losing his jobs. Etero grew up practically without positive feelings and emotions, as a result he didn't learn what happiness is, but only what true sadness and helplessness are - it's all he could see in his home.

Over the years, he began to fall into depression, which was a kind of defence system - he began to cut himself more and more from the world, from his emotions, didn't create any relationships and focused only on helping his dad, school and developing his own interests. In general, he began to live just for himself, and the outside world has become just a place where he has to function in order to survive. He expected practically nothing from the world, he had no strength to fight for anything or anyone. He rarely went out - whenever he could, he stayed at home, because he was irritated by social life (mainly because of how loud furries were, how much they talked about their problems, which he considered trivial or unimportant, how big the crowd and chaos was. Etero preferred to stay in his safe & silent room or observe everything from afar - he became a quiet observer, "removed" from society and got used to it).

Actually, he wasn't quite aware that he was depressed - he knew it, but he didn't think it was wrong, that he should do anything about it. He took it as his new reality and couldn't imagine going back to his previous state when he was able to cry, grieve and rebel when something negative happened. He currently doesn't have much energy as a result, which makes him seem to live at a very slow pace and often looks tired, but he considered it a sacrifice he had to make in order to survive. It's also not that he doesn't feel anything at all, but hides all emotions very well, even from himself (he already does it subconsciously). For the same reason, when something positive happens, he automatically wants to reject it or avoid it because he's unable to react to it in any way and feels uncomfortable. He has got so used to his neutrality that any deviation from it seems to be a potential danger.

All of that was reflected in his character - he wasn't very witty, open, he didn't brag about anything, so his classmates  didn't want to know him better. He was usually sitting alone at school,  writing and sketching something in his notebooks (philosophical  thoughts, abstract pictures). He was considered a recluse because he  neither tried to get to know anyone, nor anyone tried to know him,  although he didn't do anything wrong or hurt anyone. He literally felt like an ether that no one could feel or see.

WIP

INSPIRATIONS
- Etero obviously comes from the ether; as you may know from philosophy, people believed that the ether filled the whole world;
the ether is empty, indefinable, unprovable; Etero symbolizes the part of me that doesn't really feel anything
- his b-day is on my bf's b-day