Josh

This is Josh. 

He's currently very unhappy with his late grandfather, who recently dumped this stupid golem-thing on him, and now he's soul-bonded with it or some idiotic thing. 

Now it follows him everywhere, and everyone in his neighborhood keeps giving him weird looks, and as if that wasn't bad enough, he has to wear this stupid, pink collar and it's so stupid and pink and even has rhinestones on it, I mean rhinestones, and he's tried getting it off, believe me, but it's, like, magically bonded to him, which figures. Why couldn't it be something subtle, like a ring, or even an earring, he could deal with that. 

But no. All he wants to do is finish college and be a boring accountant and make decent money and marry some day and have a few kids and retire, but all that's out the window, because no self-respecting accounting firm will hire someone who's being shadowed by a hulking, mint green gorilla-fox-scorpion-thing every hour of the day. Oh, and apparently it's going to stay with him until he dies. 

GRAND.