The Early Years

Though Nolan was an entirely unplanned surprise to his mother Meiko, he was a responsibility she chose to take on. As a young, unprepared college student who offset her studies with an avid search for love, she was serenaded by a small local entertainer. While she was looking for something serious, they weren't on the same page, so ultimately she was left to raise the child on her own - well, with the help of her parents as well - when he decided to hightail it for the call of the stage. Most of Nolan's earliest memories were of his grandparent's home, where his grandmother would often be the one caring for him (and just as often let the TV watch over him) as his mom balanced college, then work, then her hunts for a man she could rely on. Though her home appearances were sparse, he fondly cherishes the few of these memories he has from their early times together. What he didn't remember very clearly (but could surely fill in the blanks from later experience) were the countless suitors who were short-time regulars in the house as well. With the constant stream of adults and notable lack of children, he grew used to playing solo and keeping to himself for the most part as he drowned out the confusion of home in his own world. His grandparents, his mom, himself...that was all he needed to be happy.

By the time he was 8 years old, his mother had struck what seemed to be gold - Nolan would finally have a father. But the coming years would bring drastic changes to the simple, familiar life he’d grown used to. His mom seemed to make a big deal of moving to a bigger city, but moving so far away from his grandparents and their quaint home was tough for Nolan, seeing as how close he was with them. Following changes were just as scary - a brand new baby brother, the strange tenseness that was gradually building in the family as fights increased, the change in schools... and by the time he was in X Grade, having his parents divorce, just like that. It stung quite a bit, thinking this guy was going to be different from the others who were just passersby with their empty promises, but whatever hurt feelings he felt, his mom was hit much harder. As the eldest son, he would often hear from his grandfather, it was his job to be the strong one and help his once-more single mother get through these hard times. A tall order for such a young kid, but over time, he would do his best to step up to the plate.

Conceal, Don't Feel, Don't Let Them Know

As time went on, Nolan began to shut himself off from his feelings - a combined result of bullying and taking more than he could handle onto his shoulders. He could never be seen as strong if he was always wearing his heart on his sleeve, so down came the hair over his face and in went his perceived vulnerabilities. It helped him feel more certain of his placeholder spot of ‘assistant family head’ while his mother continued her long hours of work and dating, which left her spread thin in her responibilities of caring for her two sons (and eventually a third child, this one a daughter). And when school got too rough or homelife got too stressful, he could always bury the frustrating emotions in comfort food, anime and video games.. at least, that was his way of coping. Hiding did little to actually help with issues that began popping up, though. His mom’s desperation to find a man to support them was showing as the men she was bringing home were getting trashier and trashier. More than once, he had to step in to call the police or to take a few hits from trash drunkards who dared to think they could try and get violent with his mother. And when she wasn't focused on her dating life, her approach to mothering was...confusing. It often felt like they were ping ponging back and forth the role of figure head for the family, with her trying to switch from Serious Mom Mode to Hip Best Friend Mom Mode haphazardly in a strange attempt to get this family up and running. He can tell she does care, she just...has no idea what she's doing. His attempts to call her out on it never turn out well though, so he's trying to learn to ride the waves as best he can. Stiuations like these only caused his stress and negative emotions to rise, and started to get the attention of some dastardly creatures monitoring his subconsciousness behind the scenes..

Before he knew it, he'd graduated high school and was expected to go off into the wide world of college. But with homelife being unstable and just a general lax attitude when it came to his education, he decided to take a gap year...which turned into 2...then 3. BUT then he finally decided to study Computer Programming - he would've gone for his true passion of Game Design, but his mom wanted him to pursue 'an actual career with actual uses.' It was more cost effective to remain in his mom's house, and he picked up a part time job at a local amusement park to carry his weight . So started a new routine and...what he would later recognize as warning signs. He took the nightmares that started to plague him as just stress building.

Lights Out, Dream On

The real chaos started one day after Nolan had finished his shift at the amusement park.