Michael

His name is Michael, but everyone calls him Mike.

He like to play semiprofessional paintball.

He eats hit peppers on his sub sandwiches, but Only on his sub sandwiches.

He likes to read in the bathtub.

And he's working on a doctorate in history, but its taking forever, because he keeps taking classes at the university that interest him, but don't count towards his degree.

Prior to getting a smartphone that was both able to be a ebook reader and was waterproof, he owned a spare copy of his favorite book that had all the pages removed and individually laminated, then put into a 3ring binder, yo read in the bath