Cedarflame

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Cedarflame is a small Havana brown tom with an unkept, scruffy pelt, dark red scars and bright flame orange eyes. He was born in the tunnels of Low-class, the bottom of the hierarchy in LunarClan. He currently is deceased and resides as a ghost in the territories. Cedarkit was birthed in a litter of four, but his only brother was stillborn. He had two sisters called Burdockkit and Needlekit, and he got along well with them. His mother was named Redwatcher, and his father left the family once he'd learned that he'd be baring kits. It was just the four of them. And his world was blessed with the innocence of kithood. At first. Cedarkit would start feeling a strange surge of bitterness, a self-concious in his mind that constantly told him he wasn't wanted. His mother seemed to focus more on his sisters than him, and he thought it was because she could sense the evil in his heart. He was determined to make her see him more than both of his siblings, so he went out to try and find danger, to try and fight it. His sister Needlekit tried to stop him when they found a badger den, but Cedarkit didn't listen to her. After having a brush with death, once Redwatcher saved him, she still seemed more worried over Needlekit's traumatized state rather than Cedarkit. In his eyes he was always last place to her. Angrily, he started spending more time away from his family, being too young to fully understand what was wrong with him, or how he was being neglegant. The same 'voices' that Cedarkit continued to hear throughout his life told him about a danger in the territory, a danger that would come and harm his family. He didn't do anything about it. Redwatcher took her kits to explore Low-class before they became apprentices, and there upon the foliage, they saw the danger that would strike them. A weakened tree had begun to collapse over the cats, starting to topple onto Burdockkit. Cedar was out of reach, and he was too frozen in fear to do anything but watch. His mother attempted to save Burdockkit, but she was crushed with her. Needlekit wasn't as harmed, but the four were taken to the medicine cat den in hopes of recovery. Burdockkit was dead on arrival, and Redwatcher was alive, but her eye had been taken out and she was now maimed. As his mother became too unstable to support her surviving kits, Cedarkit's grief turned into hate and he started feeling violent and angry at the world. He blamed himself, and soon he started lashing out at others, harming those who didn't deserve it. Soon, he stumbled upon a cat named Goldeye. A cat like him. A cat that hurt others out of the anger and isolation in his mind. The two connected quickly, and soon Cedarkit started taking to Goldeye like a father figure. He tried to help Cedar by taking him to his wounded mother, and instead of trying to help her, Cedarkit lashed out at her too. Something he would deeply regret. After being scolded for his violent behavior, he left in a hurry, trying to get away from his mistakes. He couldn't stop himself. He couldn't stop the anger he felt. And his sister wasn't happy about her brother's behavior. They were to become apprentices tommorrow, but Needlekit would make sure they both remembered their last day of kithood. She confronted Cedarkit in the tunnels, and attacked him brutally, harming him until he stopped breathing, almost with the intent to kill her own brother. After treatment, Cedarkit lived, but recovery was slow. Goldeye was there for him every step of the way, and decided to officially adopt him. He introduced Cedar to his mate, Snakeriver, and he immediately adored her. He saw her as his mother from the start, more of a mother than he ever saw Redwatcher to be. He finally allowed himself to get better, slowly. But his rage at his biological family never ebbed. Soon he met a Middle-class cat named Otterpaw... And their relationship was forbidden. But they loved each other, and soon they grow closer to each other with every passing day. His parents were supportive, but Otterpaw's father wasn't exactly. Cedarpaw had a short feud with him, but with his parents' help, he learned to make amends with him. And soon more cats. He was getting better, finally. But there was a darkness in him that never left. His dreams were plagued with Burdockkit, visions of his dead sister. She haunted him everywhere he went, and made him jump at any alarming movement. Cedarpaw grew afraid of going to sleep at night, causing him to feel restless and tired to the point where his mental health started deteriotrating. At several points, his sister tried making up with him, but he couldn't forgive her. He envied her for the love that Redwatcher gave her. Undying. Permanent. Cedarpaw left his past behind for a better family, one that loved him. But when Needlepaw became close with Snakeriver, he was furious. They'd get into more fights, but deep down, he missed his sister. Cedarflame became a Warrior. Things got worse. His life was coming to its end soon. Otterpaw-now Ottersplash, decided to break up with him after findout she was expecting. She got into a fight with him, and then she left him alone. She couldn't handle being in a forbidden relationship anymore, and didn't want to leave her family behind to live with him. Cedarflame was destroyed. He fell into a rut, a depression without her. His father started acting strange, and unlike himself. Snakeriver's mental health started deteriorating as well, and Cedarflame tried to be there for both of them whilst pushing away his own troubles. All he wanted was to make his parents proud of him. So he decided to confront Redwatcher. It went wrong. Redwatcher was afraid of him, she couldn't look at her son the same way again. And then, she slashed him. In self defense, in instinct. Cedarflame's eye was badly damaged, almost blind. He snarled at her and told her to leave. Redwatcher fled, and eventually snapped. She couldn't handle her life's tragedies anymore, and took it out on Snakeriver. The mother that was better than she ever could be. Redwatcher hurt her badly, and once Needlepaw snapped at her for doing so, she ran away, deciding to leave LunarClan forever. But Cedarflame wouldn't let her. He had hit his breaking point, so he decided to do what was written in the stars since the moment he was born. He murdered Redwatcher, killing her and watching her slowly die beneath his paws. His sister Needlerose was horrified, and in a rage, she attacked Cedarflame. They tussled, but Cedar was loosing. Needle rose blinded his eye and tore off one of his ears, repetively trying to murder him. She slashed at his throat until he kicked her away, sending her tumbling off of the cliff. Cedarflame tried to run, but he eventually stumbled into the gathering clearing, blood loss getting to him slowly. His father Goldeye approached him. There was a sense of failure that both of them felt that night. And Goldeye knew that Cedarflame had lost it. His son was dangerous now. So he killed him. Cedarflame collapsed and started to die in his adopted father's arms, bleeding out his life and telling him that he forgave him. That he was sorry. And that he loved him. Once he'd died, Goldeye and Snakeriver broke up and Ottersplash had one surviving kit, a she-cat that looked exactly like her dead father. Cedarflame chose to stay a ghost, he didn't know exactly where to go, but he knew he belonged with his family. Even if they couldn't see him. He roams LunarClan, waiting for the day where his beloved parents will someday join him. Someday be able to see him again.

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• Cedarflame is a self insert and my favorite OC/Biggest comfort character
• His birthday is November 3rd
• Cedarflame is extremely small for an average cat, at full grown he is the size of a newly made apprentice
• He has a fear of trees that eased over time, but he can't ever find the courage to make physical contact with one willingly
• Cedarflame has Schizophrenia