WOLFGANG

About: Blank-brained, assigned moron at birth. He's actually capable of doing smart things, he's just lazy. Risqué magazine enthusiast, collector of racy double spreads, and salty prepackaged carbs maestro. Looks at the person's ass in front of him while waiting in line. Exclusively eats out of styrofoam plates, metaphysically yells 5 hours a day, gets mad at the 6 skip limit shuffle on Spotify and listens to is this gay? type beat hip hop songs. Thinks about cheese pretty often. Lives out his days melting in front of a mediocre Asian drama and scrolls through the web for plushies and figurines - classic netizen. His actual name is Putra. Responds to "Golfwang" and makes the jokes that naturally follow from it.

Misc: Southeast Asian. Too lazy to re-dye his hair.