Pebblepaw

Name:Pebblekit | Pebblepaw (Pebblenose)
[Pebble] - For her light brown pelt, similar in color to beach pebbles. 
     [Paw] - The traditional suffix for apprentices.
     [Nose] - For her exceptional tracking abilities, and her tendency to "nose" into others business.
Clan: Riverclan
Age: 8 ☽
Rank: Apprentice
Gender: She-tom - an identity she coined to explain how she feels kind of like a she-cat and kind of like a tom! Comfortable with she/her or he/him pronouns.
Appearance details: Pebblepaw's fur is half-white, half-light brown tabby. Mackerel tabby coloration is present on her back, ears, the lower half of her front legs and back left leg (excluding her paws), parts of her face, and the lower half of her tail. The stripes on her back swirl into a loose circle in the center. She has mostly short fur, but her cheeks, elbows, ankles, and chest tend to poof out scruffily. Her tail is shorter than average, with a bottlebrush quality to it.

History

[birth: 0 ☽]

    The conception of Troutcloud's kits came at an unfortunate time. She was 49 moons old, and while that did not make her the oldest queen to see inside of the nursery, this - along with the deadly disease spreading through the clans - made the timing of her kitting very worrying. As the date grew nearer, the lake's steady drying cut off the clan's main food source. Shellheart found she no longer had an easy way to provide for her mate and mother of her kits, even when she herself went without eating. 

Finally, after what felt like moons, the tension broke; Troutcloud gave birth to a single kitten, Pebblekit. He was tiny, round and brown like his namesake. Everything was not sunshine and joy, however. Unease quickly returned to the mothers when Troutcloud caught the dreaded sickness herself. Shellheart, still sacrificing food for her mate, could only hope to StarClan that things would get better. 

Unfortunately for the three cats, things did not. 

[kithood: 1-6 ☽]

    As Pebblekit neared his first moon of age, it was clear Troutcloud was nearing her last. Bearing through starvation, dehydration, and hopelessness, the family was inseparable. The death of the clan leader came as a shock to Shellheart, but she was numb to it at the time. Not long after, Troutcloud's milk dried up, and she passed away quietly in the following nights, curled around her mate and kit. 

Shellheart was not given much time to mourn. More around her were dying from the sickness, and she now had a barely weaned kit to take care of. Pebblekit was concerned too, but only as much as a kit could be, which meant he only really felt the sadness in his mother and yearned to sooth it. He had little understanding of anything that occurred around him, and mostly preoccupied himself with sleeping and playing, even though he was feeling the effects of the lack of prey as much as any older cat. 

One night, Pebblekit was roused out of a nap by his mother. He didn't know where they were going, or why, but his excitement grew as he saw the clan begin to gather together and march. It didn't seem serious to him in at this time; he was just eager to be leaving the camp, since after hearing all the reminders not to venture out until apprenticeship, doing so made him feel like a rebel, or a grown-up. 

As the cats around him marched, he began to notice that they were increasing in numbers. Cats he had never seen before in his life joined their ranks, and his heart beat faster. His mother reminded him of the other four clans around the lake, and when Pebblekit only grew more nervous, continued on to promise him that no fights would break out during the journey. Shellheart hadn't taken it into consideration that Pebblekit would have no clue as to why they were going on the journey anyway, so she felt it necessary to fill him in on the context (even if she would have rather kept him from the upsetting nature of it). 

As the clans came to their first rest at the base of the mountain, Pebblekit found himself having trouble sleeping. Learning of all the bad things happening around him deeply concerned him, and he came to realize how many cats happened to just disappear, while he stayed careless and unaware.  It made him feel guilty, that he never mourned for these cats, or remembered their lives. His mother insisted that it was better he had gone without knowing, and that even now she felt Pebblekit was too young to worry over these things, but that did not stop the nasty feeling in the pit of his stomach. He decided to himself that he would ignore this feeling; there would be time to make up for it once they'd reached their destination. 

Having gotten lackluster rest from the night before, Pebblekit was unprepared for the harsh upwards climb. As he resorted to being carried, his small frame wracked with fatigue, he was struck with the magnitude of the situation. It was terrifying, the amount of cats who vanished off the edge of the earth or beneath piles of rock, and how many more simply laid down and never got up. He wanted to stop, so that the pain that so many were enduring could stop.  

Much of the rest of the journey was a blur of the same: walking, climbing, death, walking, eating whatever scraps of prey could be found, and sleeping. Rinse and repeat. But at some point Pebblekit found little use in sadness. After all, there were so many cats to talk to, so many new smells and sounds to explore, and so many beautiful views this far from his familiar surroundings. Some may have considered him cruelly unsympathetic, but this was his way to cope, and it was hard being a kit in this setting. And when he played up his youthful exuberance, or play-fought with the other kits, the grown cats around him grinned, or snorted, or sighed with content. And to him, bringing even a spark of joy to this seemingly eternal sadness was worth it. Especially when that grown cat was his mother, who even through her heartbreak stayed caring and considerate to Pebblekit. This was what kept Pebblekit stable, even with everything that was thrown at the clans during his kithood. 

[apprenticeship: 6-present ☽]

With Pebblekit's sixth moon just on the horrizon, and the new territory still quite a distance away, the clan leader realized they would have to improvise. And so, Pebblekit became Pebblepaw in the middle of a nondescript clearing. It wasn't fancy, it wasn't proper, but it was still the most exhileration the young cat had ever felt, just by the sheer amount of eyes on him. It wasn't actually many more cats than would be present at an average ceremony, just a dozen or so extra from other clans who had nowhere better to be, but he had no way to know that. 

With his kithood behind him, Pebblepaw got right to work hunting for the clan, eager to finally be able to contribute. They all still struggled, but he no longer had to force his happiness; he had a purpose. He was helping fix things. And as the murmur began to spread that they were nearing their destination, that passion did not fade.  

Upon reaching the Fjords, Pebblepaw was overwhelmed with relief. Finally, all those moons of pain and darkness could be forgotten, and life could start anew. He could not wait to settle into the new territory, full of running rivers and healthy prey, and start properly training to serve his clanmates!

About

Personality:

 Friendly - "Hey, hi! What's your name?"
    Pebblepaw is always on the lookout for new cats to befriend. She loves the social whirl, and can't wait for her first gathering. In fact, her joy in the presence of others was part of what made her experience of the journey to the Fjords slightly more bearable; it was quite the experience to get to know and spend time around so many different cats, despite the solemn attitude of the group. If there's a cat sitting sort of towards the back, alone, she will always come up and start a conversation with them, which may be unnerving for more introverted types. 

 Helpful - "Oh, Sandpaw, let me help you carry some of that prey back!"
    Pebblepaw is such an eager assistant, it's not uncommon to find yourself tripping over her as she tries to convince you to let her help! She never likes to see someone toil on their own, and as she feels she has to share the burden, you can always trust her to lend a helping hand. It's actually hard for her to take no for an answer, but while you might wound her at first, she's understanding and doesn't take it to heart. But really, listen, she insists. 

 Caring - "Tsk, Shellheart, you look terrible! Please let me fetch some more herbs for your whitecough?"
    Pebblepaw could never let another cat go about in discomfort or distress. To do so would simply be the antithesis of absolutely everything she stands for. As such, she's always on the lookout to offer emotional support to her clanmates, and keep their spirits high. It's so deeply ingrained in her to help and soothe others in pain some of the more cynical warriors might wonder how she even keeps from helping the enemy during battle. 


 Overzealous - "I promise I'll do my best, Shellheart! Promise!"
    Pebblepaw has to overcompensate to feel like shes doing good enough. This all stems from the guilt she felt as kit for being too young to help the clan during the time of the disease and famine. Without the contextual emotional baggage, though, Pebblepaw still feels obligated to always give her 100%. She just wouldn't be fulfilling her obligation to the clan without it. 

 Excitable - "Oh my StarClan, really?"
    Pebblepaw has been an extremely emotional and active cat for as long as any cat can remember. It's very hard for her to keep her cool, and she tends to embarrass some of the other more withdrawn cats in the clan whenever she leaps before she looks. She gets along very well with kits for this reason, at least until they get drowsy! 

 Direct - "I still don't think Applegaze looks much like an apple... not sure how that mistake was made."
    Pebblepaw has a difficult time masking her feelings or opinions. As a result, she tends not to beat around the bush, and gets stuff done quicker than a cat who does, but always runs the risk of pointing out an insecurity and hurting someone's feelings. Some cats appreciate her honest judgement, while others find her brash and offensive. 


 Prodding - "Ooh, what were you two talking about?"
    Pebblepaw, as a cat who is both very friendly and very intent on fixing others' ailments, has a tendency to butt in where she shouldn't. This isn't out of malice, or out of a interest in gossip, but from a longing to connect with those she cares about. Her nosy-ness has landed her many a telling off from some of the senior warriors, and she still has yet to consistently remember not to step on their paws too much. She's got plenty of time to learn left. 

 Self-blaming - "This... this was all my fault. I'm... sorry."
    Pebblepaw believes that she should always be a pinnacle of virtue; she believes that she should never make mistakes, or mess up, and that doing so makes her "lesser" than those around her. Of course, it's not quite as black and white as that, even in her opinion, but she can't help but feel that way about it, and be harsh on herself. This extends to situations where she wasn't even at fault at all, or was only minimally so. None of this is out of a feeling of needing to be "better" than other cats, but of a drive to be the best she can be. 

    When she fails herself, she can spiral violently. It's a very sad sight to behold, the eternally optimistic Pebblepaw numb and quiet for days, bursting into tears at the slightest provocation. But in time, her joyous nature will get the best of her, and she'll be back up and at it, good as she ever was. 

 Self-sacrificing - "No, I should take the blame for letting the vole loose, Rushpaw. I don't want anyone angry at you."
    Pebblepaw is a very caring, overzealous, and self-punishing cat. What does this all come together to mean? She will suffer through anything, as long as her family and friends do not live the same fate as her. She will take the fall for anyone she has devoted herself to, without complaint. She values her own existence less than that of those she loves, and considers herself only as valuable as she can support them. The extreme she takes her selflessness to worries her clanmates sometimes. 


Likes: Being partially submerged in a cool stream, sneaking up on Shellheart, eating crows, eating minnows, sunny days, shiny things, dragonflies
Dislikes: Climbing (she's had enough of it for an entire lifetime), drinking warm water, forested territory, mud, eating squirrels, very hot days

Other Information:
- Part of Pebblekit's time during the journey was her coming to a silent understanding about herself, and upon reaching the Fjords, she finally felt sure of herself enough to tell Shellheart about being nonbinary. Shellheart, being a trans she-cat herself, immediately appreciated the realization her kit had come to, and was very happy for her.

Relationships

Orientation: Finds cats of every gender attractive
Looking for: Not actively looking for anything romantic (she's still just a 'paw!), would love some friends with the same kind of enthusiasm she has
Ideal Relationship and Traits: A fun loving, unruffled, go with the flow kind of cat, who's very sweet. Long fur, blue-toned pelts, and pointed markings are cute, and gingers just might not be her type.


Mentor: TBD
Apprentice: N/A
Crush: tbh... who knows
Mate: None.
Ex-Mate/s: None. 
Kin: Troutcloud, Shellheart 


StarClan 
Troutcloud | Mother - Deceased - Pebblepaw hardly knew Troutcloud, and for this reason holds only a weak attachment to her, although she sometimes wistfully longs for what could have been. She knows of her mother's personality from Shellheart only, and from what she's heard was a deeply-loving and wonderful she-cat. She often blames herself for the death of her mother, believing that without having to go through the trial of birth and nursing her mother might have been strong enough to live through the sickness.

RiverClan
Shellheart | Mother - Pebblepaw loves Shellheart! She is her mother after all. Shellheart is a bit cynical and rough at times, and sometimes her eyes glaze over with something Pebblepaw can't recognize, but altogether they get along fine. She also isn't a very maternal cat, so Pebblepaw didn't have that kind of role for the most part, but that only made her more insistent to have her emotional needs met. They have grown slightly more distant since Pebblepaw became an apprentice, but that was to be expected.