Breakfast Guy

Breakfast Guy (yes, that is his name) is the simple secretary to omnipotent TV Jesus. He is an enternal state of 'breakfast time', drinking coffee and eating bacon and eggs or avocado toast or hash browns or pancakes or waffles, just anything he has at that moment. It's a perpetual eat and discard, but he never grows fatter or slimmer. His primary mode of transport is through his breakfast table he sits at. It can extend it's legs and go crab walking around as he continues to sit in it.