Cinna

Early Years

Cinna's childhood consisted of a lot of outdoor activities. As a child most of their health issues had yet to develop and they definitely made the most of it. Their afternoons as a toddler and young child often involved a healthy snack of ants on a log, apple slices or goldfish crackers, followed by running through the fields behind their country home alone or with their neighbors. They often spent hours just wandering around the fields, woods and creeks around their childhood home.

Realizing very early on that their siblings wanted little to do with them, Cinna tended to hang out on their own or avoid the three in general. Although they would occasionally pester their brother, they still kept a good distance. Their sisters would often bully them, going so far as to neglect them when left in charge or force Cinna to smoke cigarettes as a joke with threats if they refused. Although there were a few dark times with this, Cinna kept going along and exploring their home with all the wonder a child could muster.

Through the majority of their life Cinna moved from house to house, the longest one being the home with fields they loved so dearly. Although their mother tried very hard to give them a loving and supportive upbringing they found themselves the victim of verbal, emotional and sexual abuse with no outlet. Even as a child Cinna did not want to bother their mother with their issues and so they kept it to themselves and distanced themselves from those who'd done them harm.

Around the age of Five, Cinna began to tell their mother of their friends in their head, Kody and Blue. They would often have long conversations together, just basking in the sunlight or playing with stuffed animals in their home. Although it took many years to discover that neither of these friends were imaginary. Blue often used big words that were hard to understand, trying its best to bring Cinna down and kicking them when they were already at their lowest. Kody acted as a big brother of sorts, often getting Blue to stop and reassuring Cinna through all the trials they faced.

Gettin' Older

The shyness that Cinna felt as a child festered into something much worse as they grew older. Gone was their timid nature and in its place something much heavier sat. Being anywhere but home began to give them vastly uncomfortable feelings. Danger, stress and fear consumed them whenever they had to go out into public. It steadily began to get worse, causing them to wear a hoodie at all times in school to cover as much of themselves as they could regardless of the temperature. The feelings only got worse as Cinna began to suffer medical issues in their teens. They were made to wear a Scoliosis brace for two years, causing them to be all the more cautious and concious of their surroundings. Although when it finally came time to ditch the brace it did not provide relief.

Cinna began to have more and more issues with their health. The happiness and joy they felt as a child was all but gone and in it's place a deep sense of emptiness and numbness. They were diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety relatively early into their Teenage years. Although they tried many medications none seemed to help with either issue for long. Those that did only did so by making Cinna lose all track of reality and sense of time.

In their 16th year, Cinna attempted to get a job, hoping to both help out their mother with bills and earn some life skills in the process. The job as a cashier was short lived, ;asting a couple of months filled with consistent panic attacks only hours into their shifts. After they inevitably quit their job, their anxiety and paranoia in public began to spiral further. They could no longer go into stores, restaurants or offices without fearing a panic attack, constantly needing someone with them to help them feel grounded. Through their late teenage years, Cinna discovered that Age Regression often got rid of this anxiety and stress, if only for a short while. They often began regressing in their free time, basking in the joy and happiness they hadn't experienced since childhood.

Here we are

Into adulthood, Cinna did not recieve any relief from their Anxiety and Depression. It began to consume them as a person. They began to distance themself from their family and friends, instead opting to sleep the days away in hopes of one day not waking. This went on for a couple of years along with the diagnosis of PCOS, GERD and increasingly more issues with Scoliosis. Although Cinna often still feels the same dread and depression, they began to learn to cope and push it all down instead of making others worry about them.

Cinna got into a few serious relationships through their late teens and early adulthood with both Nutel and Sephy. Neither of which were good for their mental health in general. Nutel often was posessive and jealous, leading to a large amount of arguing and mistrust in the relationship until it's ultimate end. Sephy often disregarded past agreements, making his own plans and goals in life despite how they would affect Cinna. He believed his presence alone was something that could "Fix" Cinna. Both relationships ended up causing Cinna a large amount of anxiety in sexual situations, leading them to seek a relationship with sex either off the table entirely or at the very least not expected from them.

Into their 20's Cinna met Hart, a sweet Shiba mix through a mutual friend. The two started their friendship pretty slow but once it took off they became close in a matter of months. After months of beginning to feel more romantically towards him, Cinna confessed their feelings via text. Finding out that it was mutual was one of the happiest moments in their life. They soon began to slowly enter into a relationship together, one of honesty, trust, respect and understanding.