Hello there.  

As you may have guessed this is a hiatus post. I'm not sure what I'm doing in every sense of the word so bare with me but, I just wanted to write something up to explain how I've been feeling lately and the reasons why I'm taking a bit of a break from most things character related. This is also my first post (I think ?) of this nature so I'm really going out on a limb here. This post is mainly relating to the endless forest community as its where most of my characters were created and live (? I guess).

This has been going on for awhile. Call it writers block ? I'm not exactly sure but it's not just that in isolation. I feel like I've put myself out there in terms of RP and plots countless times and it only goes so far before I'm back at square one. Even on the odd chance I do get interactions with my characters, I don't feel like my heart is in it anymore. I've played around with the idea of leaving the community completely numerous times over the last year or so but more particularly in more recent months. However,  I also have to consider the time and money (with regard to commissions) I have invested in my characters and whether or not I could just essentially either rework or bin them all. Like all of you in the community, I have poured my heart and soul into some of them over up to 10 years. So, I don't want this to seem like I'm leaving what's basically a whole life's work in the dust. 

That in mind, I still don't think it's fair on either me or any of you for me to put myself out there for interactions again but not follow up or have nothing come of it. I think a lot of the time the lack of following through with something is due to a mix of both my own mental health issues, procrastination, real life commitments (college) and honestly sometimes it just doesn't work out which I fully understand. It is worth noting that I haven't properly roleplayed i.e. paragraph style, in probably 6 years which leads me to conclude that a roleplaying community is probably not the right place for me at the moment. It sucks because (not sure if people know but) I would love to get back into creative writing and eventually some day write my own novel or graphic novel based on Draighean's story and homeworld.

All of this is only exacerbated by my own feelings of isolation from the community as I often go week without contacting anyone and don't really have many close connections to anyone in the community any more. So basically, where am I with all of this right now ? I think I just need to take an indefinite break and maybe rework my characters in the future. As for what this rework might look like I'm not entirely sure. Part of me wants to scrap the feral forms and just focus on humanoid (elves, humans etc) forms which would of course involve leaving the tefc entirely. I feel like I'm at a pivotal point in my life right now in general as I have to try and figure out where I want to go with my career, love life, where I want to permanently live in the future etc and I just don't quite know where the tefc/my characters in general fit into my life any more.

I apologise to anyone who feels disappointed by this. However, I'd much rather just come out with it and be honest in how I feel over doing something drastic like deleting everything on a whim. To those of you who stayed and read all of this, thanks for your time. I will still be contactable through discord for those who want to stay in touch, though I'm aware my phone won't exactly be hopping with notifications because of my own radio silence as of late. I welcome any messages/comments.

All the best,
Jen