I was so torn between Mystery (spooky vibes) Comedy (haha sillies) and Tragedy (mm blue color) and ended up deciding to go with Tragedy since I wanna be blue 🩵😋

GIMME YOUR ACCOUNTS IF YOU HAVEN'T YET!!!!! AND MY ACCOUNT IS BELOW!!!! 👇

Novature on Art Fight

I'm visiting my grandparents so I'm gonna update my profile more later, either today when we get home or tomorrow if I'm too sleepy

I'm probably gonna draw KH stuff when I have the time I'm dying I NEED. To draw my key wielding children.

The lights being my vision

This happens to me a lot, I'll get up (slowly) and it's like I black out for a second?? I always make it a point to be really careful getting up since I know I'll get dizzy and my vision will go out, but even when I'm being cautious it still happens and I don't understand why

It kinda feels like I just go unconscious for a second?? Then I'm just fine??? It's odd

My mom had an enemies to lovers arc with Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous by Good Charlotte lmao

Anyhoozle 

I didn't mention this on the 9th because I was distracted but I fucking LOVE. Kingdom Hearts. Obsessed. This is my childhood. Did you get the joke in the title. The KHIV trailer from the 9th sucked but after how long KHIII took I'LL FUCKING TAKE IT KHIV IS ALIVE AND MOSTLY WELL

WHEN YOU WALK AWAY YOU DON'T HEAR ME SAY PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASE OH BAAAAAAABYYYYYYY DON'T GO 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Roxas is my son btw 💯

I forgot I have to make dinner on Friday but I don't know what to make..

I DUNNO WHAT TO DO I'm like super weird about food in general, I deadass don't experience hunger pains and I can't for the life of me explain WHY but food registers as something completely unnecessary to me???? And then if it's a particularly bad day for me food makes me nauseous. Even if I haven't eaten just the thought of eating ANYTHING is SICKENING. 

Anyway, back to my point WHAT AM I GONNA MAKE????

ARGHHHH MAKING DINNER ALWAYS STRESSES ME OUT cause I still live with my parents??? So like I feel like I'm intruding??? Even though they encourage me to use the kitchen??? I CAN BAKE JUST FINE WHY AM I WEIRD ABOUT COOKING SPECIFICALLY HELP and also I need to make something that will actually feed my parents??? I eat like a fucking bird whatever I would make for myself will NOT work for my parents I'd have to make enough to actually feed them but I kinda only like light, low-calorie stuff, and I eat very little of the higher calorie stuff that I actually like BUT MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO THE GYM TOGETHER LATELY THEY NEED CALORIES FUUUUUUCKKKKK

I kinda just want something small with some rice

Maybe I could make karaage chicken but deep frying is a pain in the ass

I could do it though

And karaage and rice is like, the only thing I feel willing to eat rn texture-wise

I'd also maybe be down for fish but I live in a desert fish is expensive for us and I don't wanna spend money on fish rn, we had some fucking awesome cod recently and we should do something a bit cheaper this time

Mm fish

Ykw fuck it yeah I'm gonna see about making karaage and if my parents don't like it THEY HAVE MONEY AND DAD HAS A FUCKING JOB TO GET THEIR OWN DINNER MY KITCHEN (for Friday) MY RULES RAHHH

I'll need to get potato starch and cooking sake, and I think that's it? I'll have to check, those two items are just stuff I know we never have

I'll have to send my mom on the shopping trip though I'm not old enough to buy sake lmao

I went to watch Backrooms with Turtle yesterday. I enjoyed it very much actually, it was very interesting and thought-provoking.

Naturally, there are people who think differently, which is fine. However, similarly to the reaction to Iron Lung, some people are just annoying about the fact they didn't like it. Is thinking just a foreign concept to people??? Like- holy shit. People are genuinely so bad at critical thinking and just basic media literacy.

I have successfully finished profiles for all but three of my characters on Art Fight...I just need to spend the next month actually updating their refsheets...especially Static's right now, hers is the most outdated...I don't really have ideas for the three I haven't gotten profiles for just yet honestly, but I'm leaving them up anyway...

I hope to finish everything in time this year...and I hope to actually get around to attacking more people I only attacked three last year...   

I've been busy working for hours man I didn't even process how long I've been working, it's 1:33 am   

I can't help but put all of my characters on the aroace spectrum and give all of them aphantasia. They're all so me and I made them that way.

I say this because I'm finally setting my AF up properly (my account is Novature btw wink wink gimme your accounts if you haven't already) and I'm filling out all the character information I've had sitting collecting dust in my head, and any of the characters I'm not making aroace are kinda just unsure right now and all of them have some form of aphantasia..

Now I'm going to ramble about aphantasia. Run while you can.

OKAY SO! I have congenital total/global aphantasia! This means I was born with the incapability to experience any sort of imagery in my imagination. The kinds of aphantasia you could have are unimodal (visual) anauralia (auditory) olfactory (smell) gustatory (taste) and tactile (touch). Congenital unimodal aphantasia is the most common type of aphantasia. Total/global aphantasia involves having all five types, and happens to be the rarest form of aphantasia. Congenital aphantasia is when you are born with it- HOWEVER you can acquire aphantasia through trauma. You could also have multisensory aphantasia. This is when two or more senses are affected (i.e. unimodal + anauralia)

NOW STATS!!

THE IMAGERY SPECTRUM!! The most common is typical imagery (phantasia)- around 90% of the population. Second is hyperphantasia at around 3-6% (hyperphantasia is the opposite of aphantasia, where your mental imagery is extremely clear and realistic). Third is hypophantasia- at around 3% (hypophantasia is where your mental imagery is severely limited). And fourth is aphantasia at around 1%!

In regards to aphantasia itself- as I mentioned earlier, congenital is the most common origin of aphantasia, with acquired aphantasia being rare. As for senses affected, unimodal aphantasia is the most common at about 74% of aphantasiacs! Multisensory aphantasia is second at around 26% of aphantasiacs, and total aphantasia is just recorded as "very rare".

Now how does this affect me?? It doesn't much. I do experience face blindness, and I would honestly have a difficult time recognizing even my parents if it weren't for other traits aside from their faces. Aside from that, though, I have a fairly good memory and I can remember details about what things look/sound/taste/feel/smell like even without the actual imagery. It's a very conceptual experience? I CAN definitely say that it..feels weird when I focus on it. I've tried exercising the imagination brain muscle before when I first learned about aphantasia (I saw that people with acquired aphantasia can regain the ability to visualize sometimes so I tried) and it feels WEIRD. It's like there's this incomplete circuit in my brain that is just not connecting, and if I focus on it I sometimes feel like I'm low-key actually going crazy SO I stopped trying pretty quickly..(quote from aphantasie: "Mental imagery may work like 'seeing backwards': Top-down signals from planning centers activate the visual cortex. In aphantasia, this signal chain seems to be interrupted." so yeah it seems like that circuit in my brain IS incomplete/blocked whatever)

Fun fact!!! Ed Catmull and Glen Keane BOTH have aphantasia. Quote from Ed Catmull: “People had conflated visualisation with creativity and imagination – they're not the same thing.” TRUTH RIGHT THERE. I've had so many people incorrectly define imagination to me so that they can mansplain my experience with imagination like fuck off brotation.

In regards to the research into aphantasia- it was originally described by Francis Galton in 1880, but modern research only started by Adam Zeman in 2003. Zeman would later study Patient MX, who had acquired unimodal aphantasia after heart surgery in 2009, and a year later after Discovery Magazine reported on it more people reported not being able to visualize. The term aphantasia was only actually coined in 2015, and Zeman published the first systematic study which had 21 participants. in 2024, they were able to study over 9,000 people and determined about 0.9-1.2% of people have aphantasia.

Is there more I could say about this? Absolutely. But I've said a lot already, so I'll leave it here. I've mostly taken care of my itch to talk about aphantasia now. However if there are any follow up questions anyone has about it I am SO willing to talk about it cough cough cough wink wink as me questions what who said that..

If you want to see if you have aphantasia, this is a link to the VVIQ which is aimed specifically at unimodal aphantasia, and this is a link to the PSIQ which is to test your range for all the senses. Also, if you wanna tell me about your experiences with imagination please do...

https://toyhou.se/~bulletins/3342543.emergency-important

Val has been kicked out. If possible, please buy from them or share this for them.

I'm feeling better. A few things happened that ended up dragging my April Crisis from one week to pushing three, but things are feeling better even though my job situation is still trash.

I have since wandered my way into the SFAWTDE/DAWTDE fandom, and while it is chock-full of horribly sad content it has proven to be rather cathartic for me and I may end up drawing Avery fan art. I love him dearly. I do now wish to read The King in Yellow now.

Due to my extra long and extra painful emotional crisis, I have updated my sona again. I have returned to my space+blue roots. I feel rather happy and proud of myself in a way I haven't in a long time, so I will add the ref sheet here to have a moment to be prideful.

I will gradually work through all of my notifications over the next few days. I am not used to allowing my notifications to pile up like this, so I will need to pace myself so I don't overwhelm myself again.

I am currently unemployed, and unfortunately I haven't been getting anything back from places I've been applying to. As such, I would like to start selling commissions. If you are unable to buy a commission from me, I would greatly appreciate it if you would share this. I can accept either PayPal or CashApp, with CashApp being preferred if possible.

I will only share watermarked versions of my work until I am paid. After I am paid, I will share the non-watermarked version with you. I will not accept refunds after you have received the non-watermarked version of my work. If a design or artwork I have made is for personal use, you may use it as you please and you may sell my designs. If you wish to use my work for commercial use (i.e. video games, cover art) we can discuss how to handle it together.

Commission info

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Adopts

EO

Vote here for my next adopt set theme

You may contact me wherever feels the most comfortable for you. If you would like to contact me via discord, my account is leedrawsometimes

If you are underage, please keep interactions to business. I don't have a problem doing business with you, but I would rather not become friendly with minors as I am 20.