So, as I was browsing through characters to see what strikes my fancy ( None yet ) base on the previous, I did had an idea of "Space outlaw alien" type of character qwq
This was the idea I came up with ( Did a few test colors before I've found one I could settle with ) qwq.
Maybe she may be that character to keep to do challenges and shizz base on that previous bulletin, maybe not and I would sell. I will think more on it pwp. This was just on the the whim idea throughout browsing pwp
Mean... This is a good sign. Aside from a few pauses and sighs ( At me just stopping here and there for no reason ), drawing without putting the pen down to stop for the day is a good thing qwq

( Edit ) Actually she is starting to grow on me qwq. I think I may go ahead and keep her pwp
( Edit 2 ) Another WIP update!

I've been in an art drought because my motivation has been feeling pretty "blegh" for the pass few days ( I was even working on an emote art trade and I only managed to get 1/10 done. I couldn't be bother to continue, as not even doodling helped flare that mojo c-c ).
So I did got a sort of idea in mind.
I am currently looking through UFT characters ( More specifically, those who fit in the anthro / feral / creature category. No fandom or open / close species. Cant do UFS because I want to hold onto my money. That and I've spent a good amount of cash on food for myself because the household doesnt have food again -_-" ) to see who would tickle my fancy qwq. In a way, to see if I can try to do designs on a freshly new character pwp. I don't have any specific themes and such. Just whatever seems unique and not super complexed pwp. Just whatever hooks in my interest and go "Woooow! This character seems right <3! ).
I havent seen any yet qwq. Right now I am looking at "Favorites (24 Hours)" ( But removed freebie, raffle, and games pwp. As I am not in it for chance and stuff. Just the "I want to get my hands on it now" type of dealio ). Nothing strikes my interests yet qwq. I will continue browsing that page until something strikes my eyes pwp
I don't mind if y'all wanna link UFT characters and see if maybe you might have someone I could like pwp

Also there is more to this idea!
I wanna ask something.
Do you guys mind listing me art challenges to do qwq? This will be done on this new character ( Once I actually find one ).
I think maybe a art challenge could help jiggle up my motivation? Question mark because even I am not 100% sure cwc". Figure that something new could help qwp.
Just know I won't do anything that is timed, as I admittedly have this habit in art where I do random pauses for one to a few minutes before I resume ;;w;;. I don't know why I do that. That has been this way for a pretty long time ( I only know that this was like this in my teen years. Don't know when specifically or even how it first started >.<. )

I hope this plan works, just so I can beam up and finally do art consistently again  qwq

Ok, so once I've completed the Eilimitura creature section ( Just need 7-8 more ), the rest of my money will be focused on hard saving ( Note: I do have a FFXIV sub that I pay every 3 months. I will keep that going. But that is all I will do ;;w;; ).

Once I've completed the 3/4 character art emotes owed, I will open up sketched color Cheeb YCHs. They will look like these:

There will be no limit to slots and people will be allowed to purchase multiples in one order. Only thing I would add is I won't draw characters that has armor or talons.
No one in the household knows this. That my plan to just save up to move out.
At first, I was gonna save $10k to leave. But part of me feels like it won't be enough. So I do want to ask: How much is an appropriate amount to save to at least last a year in some apartment while still trying to make more money on the side?
I know that there is already plans in the future to move in with my boyfriend qwq. However, I do still want to have some sort of funding first, as I don't want to burden him with paying for me ;;. Especially since I REALLY want to be able to contribute ( I feel greatly uncomfortable with doing nothing ) ;;w;;.

I do plan to speak with either my care manager and / or therapist about this. Want to see what plan of action would be good ( Or at least provide suggestions that can help point to me at the right path, because I am not 100% knowledgeable on these sort of things. Ah, how isolation and the people ( COUGHS AT CERTAIN PEOPLE IN THE FAMILY I AM LIVING WITH ) around me preventing me to learn for so many years made it difficult for me to not understand a lot of things ).

I hold no interests to do adopts for the rest of this year, just to have a sort of break qwq. But I do plan to still upload doodle designs to sell, as doodling is what kinda helps motivate me to draw pwp. And, well... I usually delete said doodles. But not this time >:3

Another thing....
A part of me would like to attempt to change my social security. I am still not comfortable with what one of my brothers told me. Aka, "Oh I know everyone's social securities" and just laughs it off. I was clearly not happy when hearing this.
I did look this up, buuutt... "Yes, the Social Security Administration may allow you to modify your number in certain instances. However, unlike your phone number, you can't change your Social Security number at the drop of a hat. You'll need to request a change from the SSA with a legitimate reason and proof to substantiate your request."
It may be a more difficult request.
So I may need to discuss this further with my care manager and see what can be done.

I am rather iffy about this plan because I had my social security for so long. I even have it save on myconnect ( My doctors stuff ) and bank ( Paypal and I think it was cashapp too ). I use it for only important things. So I am unsure of this plan yet with changing it ;;".


And lastly:
I will see at a later time of what characters I could let go to sell. To see if maybe I can make a little more cash from them qwq.
I still have UFS with one section being for offer and another that says "firm" price ( Quotations because I don't mind haggles ) qwq.



I won't tell anyone in my family the money in my card. I have been lying about how much I have ( I would always say $2 or $5. Anywhere below $10. I don't say the same number on the same session, to avoid suspicions ), because the one person who use to keep borrowing money from me has yet to pay me back ( It is my mother. Its been months now. She owes me $214 ). She use to be consistent on paying me back ( sometimes even paid more than intended ). But she stopped and just... Doesn't pay me back ._. . She even catches an attitude with me whenever I ask when she will pay me back.
So I lie.
I can't even say no, if she asks to borrow money. She will either guilt trip me or kick me out of the house.
So I'd rather lie than to deal with anymore of her crap.
( Note: I hate lying. It always gives me a chest ache and a wave of terrible feeling whenever I say something untrue. This is the only situation that I had to suck up and lie. Even if I feel like shit afterwards )



I refuse to do nothing and let the situation get worse.
I have moved back here and remain here for 3 years. And have been regretting my choice since.
I don't have a job.
I don't know how to have independence.
I lack the knowledge of a lot of things.
But...
This time I will step up.
This time I'll try to get out of my little box and try to get myself out.
Even if I feel deeply afraid and wary of the unknown, I just want to try.
Because remaining here, I just feel myself angry, sad, exhausted, disgusted, annoyed, withering...
So...
I will do my best ;;w;;b.
And I know this will take time. So I will try my best to bite my tongue while I do art and such to make an earning ;;w;;
To be able to finally leave someday ;;w;;


Ps. Figure I'd give a little snippet of my life. I've left my mother's home back in 2015. I was so tired of the physical and emotional abuse. It was to the point that I've contemplated either finally committing suicide or kill the people who hurt me for so long. I was only able to leave because my grandmother offer me to live with her. I immediately took that chance ( At the time, I would always visit my grandma on the weekends. I was 18 at the time and she took me to an appointment for spine x-ray. When I was done with my appointment, she asked me that question. Note that I only had my game systems, clothes, and art books. I legit ditch the rest of my things in my mother's home just to stay with my grandma ).
I did live with my great grandmother after a short while with my grandma ( They live in the same building. Grandma lives in the 5th floor, great grandma lives in the 3rd ). I did this because it was almost daily that grandma takes me downstairs to see great grandmother. We would always be there until 10pm-12am qwq. So I was like "Heck it. To save time, I can stay in the small room. It is closest with great grandmother and I can see her longer ).
2016 I've started my therapy appointment qwq. My old doctor heavily recommended it, after hearing all that I've told. My therapist, after some time ( It took me a while because I was very skittish and shy. I was NOT as social back then ), I was diagnose with childhood trauma and depression. There was actually one more I was diagnosed with, but sadly my memory does not recall what qHq
2017, my mother and sibs got kicked out of their home due to lack of paying the landlord. They ended up living with grandma and great grandma ( Mother and sister sleeps in grandma home, brothers sleep in great grandma home ). I know they try to hold back, for the sake of my great grandmother's health. As drama will cause her heart to skyrocket and cause bad things ( Great grandma had a machine in her heart. She wasnt allowed to have it beat at an alarming rate, otherwise she had to be immediately sent to the hospital ). I was given some of my things back. Not everything, but it was better than nothing.
I did had a breakdown because one of the dogs, Snowballs, was given away. During the time I've lived with my mother, Snowballs would always be on my side. She was a good doggo. She helped make things feel a little bit better. I still feel awful because the last thing I told to Snowballs was "Don't cry, baby. I will be back". I didn't knew grandma would give me that offer when I've said that... Snowballs never get to see me return and I just still feel bad for her...
2018 mother and the others left, because they made enough money to get their own place. HOORAY! I was tired of them eating my food and stressing my grandmother out.

2019, I don't fully remember what was said. I only recall the paramedics came, talked with my great grandmother, grandma, cousin, grandma's brother, and great grandma caretaker about something. All I remember was they took her medicine and left. It wasn't long after that great grandma had 3 strokes, was in a sort of vegetable state ( She could no longer walk, she couldnt speak, she couldnt move her body, and just... It broke me ), and just seem to have struggles remembering. After a few months of me and my grandma's two sisters took care of her, she passed away on June 12th. I... Just broke down. Out of everyone in the family, she was the one that made me felt the most love. Yes, there was a language barrier ( I speak English and only a little Spanish. She speaks Spanish and a little English ), but we were still understand and bond together. I don't care about items, money, and shit. I just wanted someone to be there, to love and care for me. That's what she made me felt. And damn do I still miss her ( I sleep with her favorite blue sweater next to me. She always wears it, no matter the season ).
There was a funeral and so many people was there. I admittedly just... Couldn't stop crying. I just couldnt let her go.
Admittedly, my mother unsurprisingly came late with a shirt that has a picture of my grandmother and what date she was born - date she passed away. What pissed me off the most is how she kept insisting to have me go to the front to take a picture of me with my great grandmother in her casket. I didn't do it. I tried so hard to not burst out screaming at her. Also I refuse to be on the front because seeing my dead grandmother would just cause me to have a breakdown. It was why I sat in the back. Mother, fuck you.

My grandmother's brother got my great grandma's apartment and said I could continue living there for free. So I accepted that offer and stayed in my great grandmother's room.

2020 rolled around. February I was suddenly kicked out by my grandmother's apartment. I didn't do anything wrong. I took care of the place, I clean, I did what he said. But no, he wanted to rent the only room I was staying in, as far as I know. So... I took my stuff and walked upstairs to live with my grandma. As she offered.
What sucked, aside from losing the place I love, was there was no internet ( To both socialize and be able to make payments for art ). And, well.. My uncle lives there. For those who doesn't know, he is a bully, a jerk, a moocher, a asshole.
So... I only managed to stay there for a month before I threw my hands and gave up. At some point, I've moved back to my mother's place ( It was a new place ). My old therapist advised me to not go. God how I wish I've listened.

So...
Yeah.
Things has been hectic since for 3 years and I just want to try to move out.

So this is my goal ;;w;;

Also sorry with the long-ass post.

I just need to push myself to finish most of the emotes, so that I can open the cheeb YCHs. $10-$15, price doesnt differ anything. Just give people the option to pay whatever between the two qwq


Pss. Ngl I will be so fucking happy in the future when I do live with my partner qwq. Because it would be so nice to feel that same love and care that I use to have years ago qwq.

( EDIT ) Psss. Also no, I no longer have suicidal thoughts or murderous tendencies anymore qwq. Therapy has helped me get through from it and have been doing better since qwq! Just wanted to say this, in case I worry someone >w<

I know I haven't responded to everyone ;w;.
But I've just wanted to say that the responses I was given, from others telling me their experience to granting advices, it just... I admittedly had to get off TH yesterday because I was in tears TTwTT. I've felt happy and, in a way, very welcomed. Really, thank you!
I do plan to keep that bulletin up, as I want to reread the comments and follow the advices to heart ;;w;;. I will be honest, I possibly won't do so right away. I still have that inkling of fear in me. That and low confidence. But, but, butttt! That doesn't mean I won't follow through ;w;! It just means that I will take the advices slow and may tke some time to push me forward!
Just... At the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. It really turned my day around from sad and full of inner frustrations to hopeful and happy ;;w;;.

I just realized that the starter line is fully completed!
So now I can ask this fun lil question ewe. Which starter do you see yourself picking?

Also, before I forget, here are a list of credits by the artist who made these lovely critters ( Check my Eilimitura Folder, if you wish to see who specifically drew what! ):
toyhou.se/Akemie
https://toyhou.se/Amelyanna
https://toyhou.se/TheMeowingFox
https://toyhou.se/Vix111
https://toyhou.se/Soulaiir
https://twitter.com/pavlvsjp
https://toyhou.se/Rice-o_o
Me

I may add this new art section as part of future comms :>!!
I've wanted to have more of a comic-vibe, tbh! I am digging it :D! I genuinely feel proud of this!

I have yet to decide on what the price will be for this qwq. Since it'll just be a clean sketch, no colors ( All monochrome ), and shade added qwq. Will do more at some point to have more examples nwn

Ps. To any who may ask: No I don't have a brush for this :<. It was just circles I made, copy and pasted them together a few times, and lower the opacity. I do have a SAI file saved of it, just so I don't always have to add the circles qwq.

( Edit ) I don't mind sharing my circles PNG file ( 1024 x 1024 ), if it helps other artists :D! I just cant do brushes, as I have never experimented with that before. The circles arent completely perfect but that is ok :D!

Figured that I would share the The Edge of Evolution as blog I've started nwn!
It is writing focus and may have rare occasions of art :D!

I just want to go back into the Pokemon ask blog community against ;w;.
The abomination blog is still getting story works. Almost done! I do need to finish that third design of the new character qwq. They will end up needing emotes too pwp. It is a character y'all already seen via upload months ago pwp. I have hid them just to make it a lil surprise >w<

I hate when my brain does this ;-;.
This time it is about the two designs I've purchased. Brain guilting me about buying them, because it is making me realize that I would of gotten 17 Eilimitura customs with that money instead. And I am just feeling like ahjgdahjgjhag asdjkha sd blegh I don't like this thinking ( Even before the guilt I am already trying to sell one of the designs. Not because of brain guilt. Moreso because the previous ideas I had for them was a flop, now not feeling as fitting and because I feel a brain blockage with them, I've decided to try to resell. But man is it hard to resell a plushpon design. ) :/.
It does end up making me wonder if it was just a sudden splurge or something ;-;. Making me rethink and stuff. I hate brain guilt >:/


And something I am curious to ask.
Do you also get that brain guilt too? Like... You buy something that you feel would make ya smile, enjoy it for a while, and brain ends up rolling in and telling you that the money could of been used on X thing instead c.c?
Idk the actual term of word. I just always refer it as brain guilt.

I hate brain guilt >:/

Kit and Pori are not their names! Just shorten "Kitsune" and "Popori" for the title, as I wasnt sure the length limit ;;w;;. I had one name suggestion. Seems good and admittedly I am still debating on the idea, truth be told! I feel half and half, hence the uncertainty >.<

For starters, I just wanna share that I am seeking art of the new duo over on this page here ( Free to share around or even peek, if you like ) nwn! I will make more shapeshifting forms for Kit! I did have a few ideas already! Such as Dragon and Werewolf Creature for greater strength combat, while something feline related for easy escape ( I was thinking of something more shorter in height, so that Kit wouldn't be easily grabbed in feline form ). Feral form has not been fully made yet >wPori, I do want an adult version. One that looks more monstrous ( As while its kind as a youngling is cute and delicate, the adults are actually more horrifying in appearance ) nwn/. I don't have an exact image in mind yet. I just know I want something more on the horror side of it ;;w;;.
( There is Pokemon versions I wanna do. I havent fully decided yet. Was gonna say Kit can be a hybrid between a Zoroark and Ninetales, but kinda feels a little obvious? Unsure yet. Zoroark may be of use because of Illusion. Pori shares a similar color theme as Munkidori. I can give that a chance? Not sure what other Pokemon Pori would be to add, as I do want them to also be a hybrid ;;w;; )


Secondly, I do want to post a list here of artworks in the work of these two! Just to make it easier to keep track, as I don't want to lose any of it ( I will put it on their pages as well. Have two places for me to look back to back nwn! That and in case I remove them on one of these pages, SOMEHOW, by accident ;;w;; )! Will only add in those where we have already agree on the exchange on both ends<3!
Anyways, will put down the list <3

Art Owe:
➫ Kiipper - 8x Halfbody / Bust Sketches ( For 8x Trade )
➫ Dreamsverse - 1x Chibi ( For 1x Trade )

I need to quit being indecisive with this. Because my brain continues to be the biggest of buttheads >:/

( Character Link )

I'm going to TRY ( Keyword on try ) to make this my secondary character to get up to most images ;;w;;!
I've been scatterbrain, here and there, on who I want the second character to be to get up to most images ( Hence a lot of different drawings and browsing throughout UFS / UFT sections of TH ). For a real good while, I was struggling to decide. It was gonna be X character, but I've changed my mind. Then Y character, but I've changed my mind again >:/!! Now I am gonna give this fella a chance.
I have no firm ideas yet of this character. Only few that came to mind, which I am still deciding on, is: They're a tall fella ( 7-8 feet tall ), they're trying to make due with surviving an apocalyptic world from blood-sucking creatures ( The little Popori in their bagged device is said creature, but as a youngling ), a quick-witted fighter who isnt afraid to get blood in their hands, can be stoic at moments, doesn't side with good or bad ( More of a neutrality ) in terms of their own morals. That was all I got. I still gotta think more qwq.
I was thinking of granting them forms ( Not just AU and Fandom forms. I've meant like forms that they can legit change to in this new story ). No idea as to what yet qwq. Was taking the literal idea that Kitsunes can shapeshift qwq.


The little Popori in its profile, I now have conflicting thoughts. Moreso unsure if I keep this a two in one character profile or have the little Popori have its own separate profile ;;H;;. So I am still battling with my brain to decide, really. Like... I know that the two are almost always together, hence why I made it two in one in the first place qwq. But brain being dumb, aaaaaa.

Also
Also
I am open to names ;;w;;
The rainbow colored kitsune and Popori I have not decide on genders yet. I really have no ideas, as of yet qwq.