Baba Booe.

Mustard. the sweet yellow paste that sputters out of the yellow bottle is unmatched by any other condomint. once the disgusting yellow water is done sputtering, your sweet sweet mustard can flow out. it's chunky, and you can't quite tell what the fuck is in it. It's squeezing out in a manner similar to puss, sliding out like a slimey bloated maggot that needs a meal. once you spread the mustard with you greasy fingers, you realize it is tingly, as if it was filled with cyanide and you are about to die. you take a lick, and feel your heart stop. you are dead.