So  my psychologist refused me  hospitalization, still ain't coping with this well. 

I'm literally a danger to myself and a danger to my family,  I told her everything and all she told me was that  the way I am I wouldn't manage to adapt to a  hospital and that its mostly older people with higher psychological issues that are there so I wouldn't have a place to have a fresh start and calm down. 

I genuinely hate her  excuses to not hospitalizing me, I literally have tough about killing members of my family or my own self  what do you mean I dont need hospitalization? 

  Instead they trow me away with forcing me onto a waiting list god knows how long I will have to wait,  and they  tell me I just need to go trough a treatment I went before, which btw IT DID NOT HELP ME  it stressed me out. 

I would go to the hospital daily every morning for two weeks get an IV put onto me which I hated   with  medication onto it ( drugs basically because they made me way to calm and slow   )   barely talked to me  and left me in a dark cold room alone for basically an hour or more depending on how fast your body is going trough the IV fluid  and bam they call that treatment. 

 I had several panic moments there because they refused to let me have anyone with me so there was no one to distract me from the fucking needle inside my arm  and no one to help pass time.

 I don't wanna go trough it again but it's what they tough was the good treatment to me being   not okay  , I genuinely hate Portugal's health care system, do I have to be injured or almost die  for them to actually take me serious?