chamalaeon's Bulletins
It is, of course, a lot later than intended, and I still did not get to everyone I had hoped to sadly.
But - it is up, and published here for your viewing pleasure.
I am terrible at writing ad bulletins but pls go check out our website and our new event! https://toyhou.se/~bulletins/1754379.the-great-mushroom-harvest-begins
I'm just posting this to let my friends I'm doing pieces for know there's going to be a delay. I'm having a very bad pain flare that started last night, and based on prior experience it's. Gonna last a bit, and I'm probably just... going to be holed up not doing much the next few days. Sound bad, light bad, everything go ow. Will try to send out the rest of them to get looked at as I can manage and post them when the flare finally stops.
eta: this may last a bit - the catalyst for the flare seems to have been dehydration, but i think my pelvis has a severe tilt causing a lot of pain when sitting and standing because it’s causing one of my legs to be shorter than the other… can’t stand staying upright for long it just hurts too much
Had a biopsy done on my thyroid nodule last week, got the results today.
It's benign - not cancerous.
(Caveat that biopsies done on large nodules like mine are less accurate than on small nodules, but, still, it's nice to hear it isn't cancer). This does mean that it's gonna be a longer wait for surgery. I'm hoping that my doctor will have some ideas about how to handle the extreme fatigue I have so that my life can suck a little less while I'm waiting for that. Right now, just taking a shower exhausts me, let alone leaving the house, and I barely have energy to do like... anything beyond taking care of my basic hygiene. (Rose does not like this).
I sadly lack the energy to really reply to the comments on my last bulletin but I appreciated them and all yall. I'm going to just... probably go back to sleep for the like third time today (...or maybe it's the fourth? I'm not honestly sure, I can only get like 2-4 hours of sleep at a time right now and it is really screwing me up).
It’s hard to know when it started. Did it start years ago, when I started having the inexplicable sensation my eyes were bulging out of the sockets? Did it start months ago with the constant ear pain? Did it start when I noticed my neck was thicker than usual, touched it, and felt a lump beneath the surface?
It’s hard to know how to start to talk about this.
What I do know now is that I have a lump on my thyroid gland. In the ultrasound, when it was not yet visible, it measured 3.8x2.9x2.7 cm. Two days later, it was big enough to be visible. A week later, it is so big it hurts to swallow and I am on so many pain meds just so I can sleep, and some days (like today) not even that helps.
What I don’t know is whether or not it is cancerous. I’ve been trying to schedule a biopsy with no luck. I don’t know when it will be removed - I’ve been trying to schedule a surgery too, with no luck.
I have stressed and panicked about this in private to my close friends, and wondered if I should say anything publicly and if I did how should I say it. I don’t really know if this is the ‘right’ way to say it but I don’t really have the energy to spend my time on perfecting it. There’s other things I want to focus my limited energy on more. I just want to let people know, I guess.
I turn 30 in three days. It’s almost funny, in a bitter way. Sickness stole the bulk of my 20s and just when I thought I was finally getting better, here’s a new thing to usher me into my new decade.
I don’t have any nice conclusions to this. I just hope that things become easier. I’m so tired of things being difficult.
By commissioning me for a custom or purchasing a design I have made, you agree to the following Terms of Service.
General
- My designs are meant for personal use only. This means you may not use them for vtubing, making merchandise, etc.
- Nothing I have made is allowed to be used for NFTs. I will never make any, nor will I consent to any being made, so if you see my designs on a site, they have been stolen.
- My designs may not also be used in machine learning/"AI" training.
- I retain the right to share designs I have made for promotional purposes.
- I request users on my blacklist not be traded or given designs by me.
Credits
- If you remove credits from a design that link to my TH, I reserve the right to refuse to sell further designs to you.
- If you choose to repost a design to share on social media I am not present on under the name chamalaeon you must link back to my Toyhou.se, otherwise you may tag my profile on there to credit me.
- I don't need credit each time a design by me is drawn, but I'm happy to see!
- For Candyfloss customs, they will be uploaded by the MYO Center account without credits. You must fix the credits yourself to credit me on both the page as creator and on the design artwork, or else let me know you're not sure how to, and I will help you sort it out.
- For other MYO customs for most other CS (auratails, lockettes, dextroluma, dexettes, kipitins, etc), you will receive the files over discord or sta.sh or TH DM, and be allowed to upload them yourself in accordance with the species' rules, as well as credit me as designer on the page (or creator, for Auratails).
- For adopts, I will upload the files and handle credits before transferring the design to you.
- Please do not delete and reupload a character/design from TH. If you find you need to for some reason, please let me know.
Redesigning
- You may not draw over my designs in order to redesign them. If you would prefer changes made to a design by me, you are free to ask me to tweak them on the original base, and discuss options of paying for that/trading for it as needed.
- If it is within a closed species, you must follow all the rules the species has for redesigning.
- Designs created in collaboration with another artist, you must follow all their rules in addition to mine. For example, if they disallow redesigns, then you may not redesign even though I would otherwise be fine with it. The more restrictive rule wins.
- Designs created for a closed species as adoptables may not be converted out of the closed species they were made for.
- Designs created for a closed species as customs or personal designs that I then later traded may be converted out of the closed species they were made in, and it is not necessary to ask my permission, so long as the closed species allows conversions/voiding and you follow their applicable rules.
- Non-CS designs may be converted into closed species without needing my permission.
- Beyond this I generally allow redesigns very broadly. However, some designs may come with unique rules, so always make sure to check the specific permissions on a design before going to redesign.
Payment
- Payment must be sent over Paypal within 48 hours or the design will return to being for sale.
- If you fail to pay three times, I will blacklist you and you will no longer be able to purchase designs from me.
- There will be no refunding once files (or a TH character) have been transferred, and if you issue a chargeback on me, you will be blacklisted from me and unable to purchase designs from me.
Reselling/Trading
- For CS designs, follow the closed species' rules on if they allow reselling and how much they allow it for.
- For non-CS designs, please only sell for the amount the design cost and the cost of any additional purchased artwork. For designs received in trade, it should only be resold for the value of any artwork you, the current owner, purchased.
- Designs received in trade with no artwork purchased by the current owner should only be traded.
- If I notice or am informed of suspicious activity on these fronts, I will reserve the right to blacklist you.
Public Blacklist
Please do not harass users on this list, this is purely for informational purposes. I will not disclose why a user is on this list unless they themself ask (as I have not necessarily blocked them).
- villemorte / miki / mimiky
- XXLilithofthedeadXX
I reserve the right to make further changes to this TOS at any time.
So based on the poll, I will definitely be doing a bulletin/literature outlining how I do profiles by doing one, with the addition of a more talk-y section, where I can answer some questions. I might still do a stream because I want to make stuff more accessible to people who parse stuff better out loud but we'll see, bulletin/literature is definitely easier for now with my life
On that note... First of all, is there a character without a profile you'd like to see me do the profile for? Or any with a profile that you would like to see me break down my thought processes on how I wrote their profile? Do any of yall (whether you voted in the prior bulletin or not) have questions you want me to try to address?
If you're struggling to try to format a question, here are some example ones that I already know I'll be answering. Hopefully they can help you think of things you might want me to answer.
- How do you pick which likes and dislikes to display for a character?
- What order do you fill the profile out in?
- Do you always have an idea in mind when you start a profile, or are you just kind of improvising as you go?
If you don't come up with any questions for me, that's fine. I'll feel very silly about putting this bulletin up, but on some level I am always silly, so w/e. But, if you do have questions or profiles you want me to either do or go over, drop all that into the comments so I can be sure to incorporate it into what I wind up doing.
How Do I Write Profiles [has poll]
Do you want me to talk about how I write profiles?
So this has come up...a few times in different servers, people wondering how I like, do my character profile writing - both how I decide what to include in terms of sections as well as how I think through things like personality, likes/dislikes, what I decide to include in trivia, etcetera.
It came up again today and it got me to wondering if anyone would find it helpful if I did something to like...talk about it more thoroughly, so idk, I am making this bulletin to post with poll. I'm not really sure what formats people find best for this sort of thing, so I put some different options. If I did a stream, it would probably be on twitch, and I'd record it for later viewing. If just a video uhhh I guess I would have to give in and make a youtube account LOL. If bulletin or literature were preferred, it'd just be on here.
Anyways, feel free to let me know what you think/what you would want if you would appreciate. ^^
SLOTS
- CLOSED
- CLOSED
- CLOSED
WILL WRITE
- oneshots
- chaptered pieces
- closed species
- combat scenes
- implicit violence and torture
- implicit sexual content
- characters of all orientations and genders
- polyships
- MAY write canon characters if I am comfortable with the series but it's not a guarantee
WILL NOT WRITE
- real people
- characters you do not own; if you can show me explicit proof of their owner consenting to me writing their character this will be waived but you must have their explicit consent to being written and for what is being written
- suicide, suicidal ideation, anything that even references suicide
- physical self-harm
- sexual violence
- no sexual or extremely violent content will be written for minors
- racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia/ableism/etc that is not allowed to be addressed as wrong by the narrative
- more to be added if I discover anything else I need to add
SAMPLES
- POINT OF VIEW: 3rd Person
- RATING: PG-13
- GENRE: Misc.
- This is an excerpt. The full version can be found here.
"Order 95!"
She bolted to the counter, snatching the tray of food up excitedly, not even bothering with a thank you as she hurried over to the table she had claimed to begin eating. Heedlessly, she slurped the noodles into her mouth. They were so spicy, and her eyes and nose watered, but she didn't care. They were hot and tasty and she hadn't had spicy food in so long! She finally lifted her head to pant for breath, and finally eat her fries and pudding. The corruption pudding soothed her tongue as she stuck it in, using it to eat. Glancing at another table, she noticed the other dextro were using odd little utensils to eat, not just their mouths, and blinked in surprise, glancing back down at the tray to see a set of utensils. A crunch made her look up again, and her eyebrows knit in confusion as the dextro she had looked at were finishing their meal by...eating their utensils?
That was... What?
She hesitantly picked up the knife and began to eat her pudding with it, not quite sure what the other two utensils were for. The knife wasn't more effective than her tongue was, though, so after a bit she tried crunching on it too, discovering it tasted quite earthy. Not her favorite flavor, but it wasn't that bad. She tried the one with multiple pointy ends next. It was also ineffective with pudding, but in a fit of inspiration, she tried it in the noodles, which she wanted to eat more of. Some sort of muscle memory suggested twirling the noodles, and she discovered it was much easier to eat than what she had been doing. That just left the weird round utensil... She held it up, inspecting it with a frown. Round wasn't quite right... Curved, maybe? Held up, it kind of reminded her of the shape she was making her tongue into to get pudding, so she tried that.
To her delight, it worked!
- POINT OF VIEW: 3rd Person
- RATING: PG-13
- GENRE: Combat
- This is an excerpt. The full version can be found here.
“Well, you girls have it under control now, collect my papers once you’re done…this has cut into my planned meeting,” she heard Circe say, and she could see Chaos rolling her eyes. She struggled as the door to the little building they had used shut, hoping that maybe with Circe gone…
“Please, Chaos,” she mumbled.
“Oh, begging… Cute, that’s cute,” Chaos said, slamming her staff, blunt end this time, between Lightning’s breasts. Her voice shifted lower. “Such a stupid little thing you are,” she said, more a snarl, and flipped her staff up over her head, catching it and holding it differently. “Wonder how long it’ll take to shut you up… One swing, or two, Evangeline?”
“One,” Evangeline said, voice flat.
Lightning closed her eyes…and then she heard Chaos cry out. Opening her eyes, she saw an arrow had sprouted between the Lockette’s breasts, and she had staggered back, lifting her staff and sending a wave of fire at the trees. Evangeline got ready to swing, almost mechanically. Lightning didn’t shut her eyes this time, hoping against hope… As Evangeline’s scythe lifted, she heard the soft twang, from a new angle…and an arrow soared into Evangeline’s keyhole.
Chaos turned back as she heard Evangeline scream in agony, jaw dropping as she saw Evangeline dropping to her knees, her scythe barely holding her upright. The arrow blazed in her saura, tiny feathers dangling from the end.
- POINT OF VIEW: 3rd Person
- RATING: PG
- GENRE: romance (rivals)
- This is an excerpt. The full version can be found here.
Diana shut the door behind her, and they surveyed the apartment.
It was sparse, at least in the living room. There was a single chair, a pile of cushions, a spindly table that a key had been left on.
“Matches the outer lock,” Diana said, as Ashe moved to look at it.
She bit down her irritation again, but left it. Her next point was examining the chair’s cushions, and then the cushions themselves, moving them to check for anything hidden beneath. Diana seemed to be pacing, though her gait was bizarre.
Ashe checked the bathroom rather cursorily, ducking out as she noticed a bright blue bloodstain on the cheap metal tub and the rim of the sink, and the lack of anything else in the room.
Diana followed her into the sparse bedroom, again beginning to do that strange gait while Ashe poked around the dresser, finding it noticeably empty.
“There’s something beneath the floor,” Diana said, stopping Ashe from going to the bed. “Do me a favor, sweet tea, and go to the door and warn the guards I’m going to make a little noise, and stay there till I call you.”
It was her dead seriousness that kept Ashe from arguing, as she nodded and headed back, wondering how Diana had figured that out. She waited against the door after telling the guards, listening to crack after crack.
“…sugar, you’re going to want to see this.” Diana’s voice was worryingly flat, and Ashe hurried in.
She gasped, covering her mouth, as she stood in the doorway. Diana had shoved the bed on top of the dresser, balanced on its side, and split the floor open.
- POINT OF VIEW: 3rd Person
- RATING: PG
- GENRE: Angst
- This is an excerpt. The full version can be found here.
"I've heard you're so chatty at work, but it's like you never say a thing to us, even though we're your family," Ysaira said, after a long moment, leaning into the gazebo railing to pluck a blue flower and twirl it between her fingers. "You weren't always like that...but I haven't heard your voice in years..."
"So it took you years to notice," Galatea said drily, biting back the urge to say it was unsurprising.
"Well... I guess...we thought maybe it was grief..." She sounded hesitant.
"Does anyone care about the real reason, or just how it effects you?" Galatea asked. She felt her throat tightening, but pushed past it, taking a crystal mushroom to eat this time, the crunch helped distract her from her feelings while Ysaira stared at her.
"Of course we care about you-" she started.
"You care about me when it's convenient," Galatea said, cutting her off. "You don't care about what I actually want or need." She had years of pent up anger and resentment that had just been given an opportunity to boil over, and it was hard to keep it in. "You're not asking why I don't talk to you because you're worried about me, you're asking because you worry you did something wrong, and you did. I wasn't allowed to be with my mother as she died because of your family, I've never been allowed to even visit her grave because of your family, I get criticized at every turn for not being good enough and dragged to all kinds of things and always always told to measure up to you and I am always found wanting and you think I want to talk to any of you, when none of you have ever heard me!" She didn't know when she had started yelling or gotten to her feet, but she had. It was too much, and she had to get away- from Ysaira, from her feelings, from it all-
Ysaira watched in shock as her cousin raced away, long hair streaming behind her, and sunk into herself.
- POINT OF VIEW: 3rd Person
- RATING: G
- GENRE: Angst?
- This is an excerpt. The full version can be found here.
She knew the taste of her cereal. Every morning, for all her life since she had been able to eat solid food, she had only ever eaten a dark chocolate cookie cereal. Even now, when she would not eat breakfast because she did not know what else to eat, she knew the texture between her lips, the slight bitterness on her tongue. The way her spoon at home was slightly dented, the machine that had cast it had slightly warped it from how it was supposed to be.
The local news anchor had been discussing the weather, and talking cheerfully about the kickoff of the festival in Zeta that evening. She had worn a purple blouse, and her hair swept off her neck to accent the neckline.
Hero had made a note to remember it. Sarah would like it. Sarah was busy in Zeta, enjoying the winter break with her parents, but they were going to video chat that night, and she would be happy that Hero had thought of her. She always was, even though Hero didn’t understand why.
She tapped her foot slightly to the song in her head, a karpos pop band Sarah loved. She wondered what she was doing right now, and if she might have time to text… She sent a quick message - ‘morning, are you up? I have that liv lav luv song you sent last night stuck in my head today ^^ <3’
She didn’t notice when someone else came on camera, when the news anchor leaped up. She noticed when her parents’ heads swiveled to give the screen full attention, and she did too.
Sometimes she heard this part in her sleep. “Please remain in your homes, please leave phone lines open. Wait to leave until Alpha military tells you it is safe.”
She remembers the way her hand jerked, the feeling of her cereal splashed on her fur. She remembers texting Sarah. ‘are you okay??? what’s happening???’
She remembers the next texts too.
‘please answer’ ‘please be safe’ ‘I love you’
She remembers the weeks after. Sending that every day. Desperate hunger.
Eyes on the screen, only her father would leave their home. Groceries. Tessa sobbing in white-hot fury over the phone. Cordelia, quarantined.
Her bed.
Why couldn’t she get to her bed?
Kandy’s arms squeezed tighter around Hero’s waist.
“Hero, you’re having a flashback,” she said, calm, though she wasn’t letting her sister move another centimeter. “Talk to me. What are you seeing?”
- POINT OF VIEW: 3rd Person
- RATING: PG-13
- GENRE: Disaster Scenario
- This is an excerpt. The full version can be found here.
The chill was going to reach her heart soon enough, she thought, curling up into her chair.
F began to scream too, and she closed her eyes. Would she scream too?
They did their best to eat the jellybeans, to look at the news… The news said nothing could be done, that the Zeta were working to find a cure.
“Remember how well that worked for the rotten floss…” Ahab muttered, mostly for himself.
J caught it, anyways, even as she shivered and wrapped her blanket around herself. She hadn’t been alive for the Great Rot, not like him. He’d been infected as a newborn kitten, and didn’t remember much himself. It was still public knowledge that the Great Rot had only been cured once it infected royalty.
“Think getting Queen Clover infected could make this get cured?” she muttered to him.
He wheezed a laugh, painful though it sounded. “You and me ain’t got the strength for that anymore, J,” he said. “’sides we’d die, and folk like us don’t die for others.”
“We’re gonna die anyways,” she said, into a sudden silence as F’s screams stopped. Ahab didn’t respond.
Glancing over, she could see Ahab shaking, and see the eyes that had now covered F’s face and limbs, and she glanced away again. Where would the eyes emerge on her…
Time trailed by. She knew when F passed, but by then, she thought she was the only one aware of it anymore. Eventually, she ate again, using the cookie butter and spoon, not even bothering with the chips now. The chill felt like it had reached her blood, so it was only a matter of time. She didn’t know what it would take to survive, but the more calories the better, probably…
J knew it, when it reached her heart. She swallowed, hitching the blanket she had wrapped back around her tighter around herself, even though the touch of its warmth hurt. It was almost like being held, and it was the only comfort she had.