Hi, I want to express my feelings openly here since people might recognize me through this account. I need to distance myself from ChickenSmoothie and anything related to it for the time being.
Now that I'm 20, I've come to realize the significant stress and anxiety the site caused me over my teen years. I joined kalons when I was 13 and didn't fully understand the potential harm it could cause. Although others may have had positive experiences, I've come to see how the site has negatively affected my mental health. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I want to be honest. I haven't visited the Salt blog since late 2022. I know nothing on there and if anything has even been said. I think my anxiety started to spike to a point after that first time in 2022. I talk a lot yea I won't lie but something about it being anonymous sunk into me more. It's probably fear of someone I'm talking to really being behind those messages and never knowing. I think after a point my distaste for everything started to sink in late 2023 with a lot of different stuff that happened.I spiraled and was letting my emotions eat me alive. I was becoming the worst version of myself I could be. I don’t talk to anyone from kalons anymore. I only talk to Baz and that's because he's my boyfriend lol. I'm sorry for anyone I disappointed. I haven't logged in to my Kalon discord since January, and I won't be engaging with anything regarding it for some time. I've started to take care of myself and I'm finally getting some small wins after a long streak of losses. I bought my first car and drive now, I'm getting therapy, and I'm happy with who I am and what I produce. I feel comfortable enjoying media without being nervous about other’s judgment. I guess I just typed all this to say sorry. I feel bad for leaving like that with owed work and stuff, I left without giving a closing but I felt that was the best for my mental health. I often wouldn't know how to set up boundaries and would let people walk over them (it's not their fault. I never set down the rules to begin with) and it left me hating the person I was becoming. I miss moments from kalons where I did enjoy it. I miss the summer I went crazy in the nursery, I miss when I was making main adopts for the first time (Still love my boba one she is so cute). I miss working on commissions and getting to draw on chicken paint (Highkey I miss chicken paint the most. Loved that program ) but when it came to it I was starting to get sick even at the idea of having to do kalon work. I am not sure if I'm leaving for sure, if ill just come back and do some nursery batches for fun maybe when I feel like I'm not under a lot of stress.
If you want to contact me to clear up loose ends and whatnot, I can be messaged through here. While I don't check it often I'll try my best to come on every once in a while. I don’t like to leave things unresolved and I’d rather end everything neutral than be on bad ends with anyone. Once again sorry and take care of yourselves
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