my art may drop in quality for a bit

long story but essentially my eyesight is a bit FUCKED rn, I have lazy eye and need surgery to get that shit fixed

till then my vision (even with my glasses) isn't at peak performance

idk when the problem will be solved, as we'll still going through the process of setting everything I need up

also I got birthed today, turned 21 nwn

can't wait to forget to update all online profiles that state my age lmfao

not counting what I got from art fight, the things on deviantart iv forgotten to post, and whatever else im probably forgetting

THIS is how many images/characters I have to post to toyhou.se currently

PLEASE DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AS I, UPLOAD YOUR SHIT WHEN YOU GET/MAKE IT

//LOOKING AT YOU LAZY

I am once again attempting to upload all the shit iv been neglecting to post

lets see how far we get this time

https://toyhou.se/22510627.1k-custom-raffle

PLEASE CHECK OUT THEIR SHIT, NOT EVEN JUST THE RAFFLE THEIR ENTIRE TOUYHOU.SE IS PURE GOLD AAAAAAA

GOOD SHIT THATS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THEREEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT /ref

don;t want the last post clogging up my front profile page, so here's this meme that I keep going into fits of laughter over

my sense of humor is FUCKED

also debated the sonic "he's pulling his cock out" image, but idk if anyone else would laugh at that aside from me so JFSOIJLKFSD

Edit: NOBODY TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY IM DOING THE DIGITAL EQIVILANT OF SCREAMING OUT NONSENSE IN A FIELD, this isn't a breakdown typing this made me feel better lmfao



not to sound like an influencer who got called out for being a total peace of shit or anything but like (/FUCKING J PLEASE LAUGH THIS IS A JOKE)

idk im just thinking about the shit I did in the past, who I used to be n all that

what happened exactly? idfk a lot im thinking about years worth of bullshit rn. both me being a dumb fuck child who turned into a developmentally delayed adult

I had some of the worst people around as my influences for YEARS, I became just as bad as them since I didn't know better. I was a pathetic whiney bitch who's burst into tears over the smallest of issues, blame everyone else on my problems while refusing to look at myself.

not saying its like, 100% their fault I came out like that btw, I DON'T wanna pretend like im blameless in ANY of the messes I got/get myself into.

I was a victim of horrible people, im not gonna deny that fact anymore ether. but I was also an enabler at the same time. I didn't know any better, I thought I was just supporting those who I considered my best friends, but I just let them hurt my and others. we hurt each other while calling it love, dragging the others down to hell thinking we where rising to heaven

what I did wasn't okay, and it never will be

but something I need to remind myself of is that like

I was a child.

yes I was an adult near the END of the 8 years of their bullshit, but when it started I was a child. a mentally ill child at that. and yeah they where also children, we're all like- 2 years apart at max I think. but that doesn't change the point im getting at- this post is about me and the damage they caused to me, if that looks bad on them, then they can defend themselves. its not my fucking job anymore

idfk where im getting at anymore im just- spewing out my thoughts as they come out lmao

we where all kids, but like

that doesn't change what they did to me.

yes I was bad, but they where WAY fucking worse.

nether of us are blameless, but that doesn't mean I have to ignore the fact they harmed me

I don't give two shits if they've changed for the better, they did years worth of damage to both my heart and my mind. and YEARS behind where 20 year old's are supposed to be and those dipshits didn't do anything but make that fact worse, then blame me for not working properly

this wasn't supposed to be about them- but damn am I still pissed lmfao

and you wanna know what?

no. im NOT evil or mean for talking about that fact. it again it doesn't matter if they've changed and moved on.  im still allowed to talk about it, in any shape or form I want. why? CUZ THE WORLD DOSEN;T REVOLVE AROUND THEM. changing for the better doesn't undo your past, if you wanna hold onto the actions iv caused to hurt you, then go ahead. cuz that's your pain, I don't get to dictate how my actions affect you, and I never will.

but it goes both ways.

i'll be petty and spiteful for as long as it takes to feel better, for as long as it takes to make me smile. who gives a fuck if it makes them uncomfortable, they don't own me anymore!

im not their slave anymore!!! their little feefees arn't my problem!!! if it makes them so so upset, then they can get the fuck off my profile!!! why are they even still here, you assholes blocked me for a reason!!! LEAVE!!! I DON;T LIKE YOU!!! IM GONNA BITE YOU GRR GRR RAW RAW RAWR

ima be honest this post was originally like- not supposed to be about whatever this is. but idc im vibing JLKFSD

I am dumping my brain into these words and letting it take form. who cares if its illegible or weird I made this for me! this is what my brain looks like folks

okay what I wanted to say from the start before I got distracted by being petty-

I forgive myself.

I forgive myself for the shit I did back in the past. for the shit I did ether out of malice or pure stupidity. all of it.

that doesn't change what's happened- it never will. but holding onto all this regret and self hate won't fix things ether!!!

I fucked up and im gonna try to learn from it. case closed. im tired of carrying the guilt, of course i'll feel bad when I hurt someone- but there comes a time to let it go!!! I need to make room for the mistakes im going to make in the future, if I keep hoarding the past ones i'll end up drowning myself

but that doesn't mean im forgiving them.

i'll NEVER forgive them, not for what they put me through, but ESPICALLY not for what they put my loved ones through!!!!

i'll keep being petty and spiteful and revengeful!!! (is that even a fucking word-) even if it hurts them, I don't care anymore!! cry more bitch!!!! thats what you get for abandoning our fucking kid!!!

 though im not doing it JUST out of vengeance

tbh its barley vengence half the time

it makes me happy!!!!

I LIKE doing the stupidest shit imaginable like shipping my sona with charecters from a game I know they don't like!! its stuipid and I love it!!!

I know they don't see it, and I don;t care

it pisses off the version of them thats in my head, the one they left behind that still haunts my dreams

im just doing harmless bullshit while pretending im some evil vengeful mastermind who's ruining the lives of those who fucked over my family

im just being me

and in the end, thats exactly who I wanna be! good and bad!!!

I have NO CLUE what the point in this post was about tbh, or if I never made one-

girl help what am I even saying anymore JKSFDKJFSD

idfk, typing this all out made me feel better!!! rip to everyone reading this thinking im fucking crazy FHSDJKJFSDK

grrr raw raw raaaaghhhh!!!!! AAAAAAAA!!!!!!

okay im going outside now JFLKDS, take care of yourselfs everybody :hearts:

two of them,,,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, EGG

LOOK HOW CUTE THIS BITCH IS, CHECK OUT BOTH THIS RAFFLE AND THIS PERSONS ADOPTS TBH, GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE

two