i feel like this needs said, at least for my own comfort and maybe for other's sake..

i deleted my discord and totally isolated from everyone because i felt my mental state hit rock bottom and i was so anxious and paranoid it was really hindering my social performance. it was the worst i ever felt in my life, and despite all my growth, still not the best version of myself. i apologize deeply to anybody who had a less than stellar experience or confusing experience knowing me during this time. i felt it was better to stop socializing all together until i got my intense anxiety under control, i promise i did not delete anyone or cut anybody off because i was upset with them, i'm not upset with or feel negatively about anyone. i used to be kind of fake and pretend i liked everyone, but now that i have more confidence i can stand up for myself and tell someone directly if i don't like them.

i was unsure about this decision at first, but i am REALLY glad i did it. i started anxiety medication and looked into an outpatient group at my local hospital and i am making SO much progress. the medicine has really cleared up all those nagging little mental cobwebs telling me that people were only pretending to like me and my art was mega trash and i should just delete. i feel so.. content? like not feeling the need to anxiously erase myself in a paranoid melt down haha. i've also been able to go to various small places in public with my spouse and i'm getting out of my house for the first time in YEARS. i have no idea how or why this medicine works, but it has really helped me. ^_^

i really appreciate those who have been patient and understanding with me, and only hope that i haven't upset anyone or made anybody feel like i don't like them by taking a much needed break to better myself. (×﹏×)