Just an update + apologies for slowness

Posted 4 years, 3 months ago by Jotaku

It's been a long time since I've posted a bulletin that's just an update on my life, and not some kind of sale.  Phew!   
But I kinda wanted to touch base with customers, supporters, ppl I have dealings/trades with, friends, etc. to let y'all know what's up with me and why the heck has Jo been so friggin' MIA for basically 5ever.

Some of you have probably already heard this from me before via PMs, but the long and short of it is basically: art block. 

Around the time I had to get a new computer (if y'all remember that), I took on a lot of customs.  I overestimated myself and didn't take the work load seriously enough, so I also accepted several zines and got myself into a con (w/o already ready-to-use prints/merch) and basically just took on way more than I could chew and consequently have not been able to properly catch up with my workload since.  I've been stuck in a cycle of always having to take on more things before I finished the last to be able to keep up with my finances and whatnot.  After a while that sort of thing drags and stresses real damn hard, and it pushed me into a really shitty and huge art block (and potentially a kind of depression?? idk) that's been going for what feels at least half a year strong now.  It's super.    
Thankfully it's not hurting my, like, artistic skills or whatever (/wipes brow), but it does make me reaaaaallll gd slow.  And the closer I get to finally catching up and being back to finishing stuff before I take on more--aka the closer I get to the light at that gat dang tunnel--it's like the worse the block gets.  Which is to say, I'm super friggin' close to being like 100% caught up on my shit again! (whoo!)  But eff me, it's just taking me about a million gd years to actually get there.  And of course the coronavirus crap happening now is only making me more stressed and making it worse cuz it's like all I think about now and makes it even harder to focus on art jflk;dafsd (please take care of yourselves and do your social distancing if able and wash your hands!!)

ANYWAY.  I just wanted to share a bit of what's going on with me for those who didn't already know.  Cuz I know I've been way slower than usual with commissions and I know I've been really spotty about timely getting back to PMs, and I apologize for that.  I'm trying to push through things -- I mean, I have to, because art is my job and I gotta feed myself, y'now? -- but the way thru is just a bit more bogged down and bumpier than I'd hope. /__\
(This is also why I've not been on twitter or discord fyi -- the stress is making me feel bad and guilty and like I don't deserve to be on social media until I get a handle of things jfkld;a (cuz my brain is dumb like that))

That all said, I also want to thank all of you who have been supremely patient with me, and for those who continue to support me and seek out my art and designs.  I don't think I stop to say or show my appreciate enough, but it really does mean the world to me.  Y'all keep me fed and inspire me to keep pushing myself forward.  Thank you!

Comments


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This is a super late reply, but I just wanted to say thank you for the kind words!  ;w;/  Doing my best to push thru it!!

I’m always glad to see updates from you, and happy to know that you are okay! Art block is a super serious thing to deal with when you love to produce art.. I’m sure you’ll get back on your feet! 

So happy to hear from you 💖 take care!

Aaa sorry for such a super late reply, but I wanted to say thank you for the positive message!!  Art block is the literal worst and I haven't been hit this hard with it in like 10 years fjlkdasfd guess it was bound to catch up with me eventually though.   
But yeah, doing my best to push thru it!  It's bound to end eventually!

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Gosh, sorry this is such a late reply!  But thank you for the kind words!! TT__TT//

The vicious cycle is so fucking real.  It's like, you keep telling yourself, 'oh as soon as you catch up, you'll be able to start fresh and be on top of things and fix everything again!' but the finish line just keeps moving and it feels never-ending   
And tbh it's a mix of both guilt and lack of energy for it.  Like, social media is a huge distraction so I feel like I shouldn't let myself on any of it while I'm trying to catch up, but also it's a bit of like... also feeling so bad that I'm behind on things that I have a hard time facing people?  Even if they're not the ones who I owe things, it's like.. idk it's just dumb brain stuff lol.  And then the stress also just zaps me and makes conversing with people feel super daunting.  I do agree that social isolation isn't good, though, and I fucking know it but it's just hard finding a spot to put my foot in the door again where I don't feel awful about it.  Bluh, that vicious cycle, indeed.

But I'm sure I'll push through it eventually, shit can't last forever.  ;w;

Also, I hope you're doing well!  I think Adrian mentioned you were gonna go to Sakuracon?  Bummed that's not happening this year, woulda been nice to see you! 

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youve been working super hard 8'O!!! take care of urself too 🥰

Super late reply, but just wanted to say thank you for the encouraging message!! ;w;//